# Things you don't want to hear from a homeowner



## MarkJames (Nov 25, 2012)

"I have friends in the Russian mafia." (true story)


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## MarkJames (Nov 25, 2012)

"Can we reuse the tile?"

"The tile should be less because the basement has lots of closets."


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## MarkJames (Nov 25, 2012)

Over the phone: "No, we were keeping the organizer in the master..just the others." 

I did this a couple months ago...had to reinstall a double-sided walk-in closet system crowned at the top. Thank goodness I didn't take a sledge to it. It really sucked.


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## Michaeljp86 (Apr 10, 2007)

Cant you just wire nut them together and stuff it in the wall.


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## MarkJames (Nov 25, 2012)

"I just want to move the toilet to the other side."


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## blacktop (Oct 28, 2012)

We need to be In by Thanksgiving !

We need to be In by Christmas!

We need to be in by the first of the year!


WALK!!


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## MarkJames (Nov 25, 2012)

blacktop said:


> We need to be In by Thanksgiving !
> 
> We need to be In by Christmas!
> 
> ...


"We need to be done by Thurday. We're having a party." (notice that today is Thursday)

(Yes, I'm done.)


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## blacktop (Oct 28, 2012)

blacktop said:


> We need to be In by Thanksgiving !
> 
> We need to be In by Christmas!
> 
> ...


And 99.9 % of the time ! IT NEVER HAPPENS!!!!:no::no:


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## griz (Nov 26, 2009)

from my younger days before i learned to dry fly fish....

part way through the job:

"is there anything we can do to lessen the cost?"....


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## dutchroots2 (Sep 20, 2016)

"We're getting a divorce."


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## blacktop (Oct 28, 2012)

We still have two buckets of mud In the basement from when we built the house In 1998 !! 




:blink:


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## griz (Nov 26, 2009)

blacktop said:


> We still have two buckets of mud In the basement from when we built the house In 1998 !! :blink:




and some old paint....


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## blacktop (Oct 28, 2012)

dutchroots2 said:


> "We're getting a divorce."


That always happen half way through the project !! :laughing:


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## blacktop (Oct 28, 2012)

griz said:


> and some old paint....


That chit lasts forever!! :whistling


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## Resta (Feb 11, 2009)

Can you do this and that when you have time...


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## Lettusbee (May 8, 2010)

I was contracted to install 24 windows on a new fire station. 

Got to the job site on day 1, all rough openings were framed to the exact window dimensions. 

I did not enjoy making that phone call and being the one to say
"The windows don't fit"


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## griz (Nov 26, 2009)

Lettusbee said:


> I was contracted to install 24 windows on a new fire station.
> 
> Got to the job site on day 1, all rough openings were framed to the exact window dimensions.
> 
> ...


how is it you were contracted to install 24 windows and had no say or knowledge of the rough openings?

who called out the ro's and who ordered the windows?


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## Lettusbee (May 8, 2010)

Window supplier that I used to do a lot of subcontracted window installations for. They had their own PM and a sales person who were both supposed to ensure the jobs were good to go. I was only supposed to show up and install. I did many jobs with them over several years, until they finally hired an in house crew. 

On this job, somehow the framers and the PM were both using the Net frame size list as the R.O. list. 

They actually called me back the next day to say they were ready. 
They beat the trimmer/king studs to the sides and and whacked all the sills down.


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## blacktop (Oct 28, 2012)

Resta said:


> Can you do this and that when you have time...


It will only take you 10 minutes !! :whistling


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## Lettusbee (May 8, 2010)

"Oh good, you're done. I'm going to have to pay you in three installments"

And it was only $1500.00. And they signed our proposal that has in big block letters
"Payment due at time of completion"


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## Youngin' (Sep 16, 2012)

"One of you stole my jewelry!"

Turns out she just misplaced it.


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## SuperiorHIP (Aug 15, 2010)

blacktop said:


> Been there!! I hate when the cops show up!!


:laughing::laughing:
A couple years ago my guy went to the same house he'd been working on for a while but this particular morning the husband was back home from out of town. Well, he's an alcoholic and apparently sleeps in the nude and didn't remember to turn off the alarm. He ran out, naked, shut the alarm off and due to what I can only guess was some ninja like movements my guy was able to sneak out and come back in right when he was back in his room so at least the H.O. saved a bit of embarrassment.


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## griz (Nov 26, 2009)

Youngin' said:


> "One of you stole my jewelry!"
> 
> Turns out she just misplaced it.


who the phuk stole my weed?????


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## SuperiorHIP (Aug 15, 2010)

Youngin' said:


> "One of you stole my jewelry!"
> 
> Turns out she just misplaced it.


Been here too! Had a lady we had done a fair amount of work for in the past, she called us to paint her bedroom and bathroom. She called me said some jewelry was missing and was wondering if we moved it or had seen it. I had a new guy working for me that was a long time friend and I had given the name of a carpet installer I had used a few times who came in after us. I was freaked out, so worried she thought it was us even though I knew it wasn't so I assumed it the carpet guy or one of his helpers so I never used him again and tossed his business card. 6 months or so later I get a call with her saying she found the missing jewelry in her luggage and she forgot she packed it in there. :blink::blink:


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## Deckhead (Dec 9, 2010)

I call it breaking up with a girlfriend when I see these signs early. Always makes you feel good when you turn down a crazy.:thumbup:

Even under close scrutinization I've heard, 

well I don't think that's an extra (even if signed)
Lemme talk to my husband about his bill (talk all the **** you want, you owe me the money dumbass)

Or the early signs:

Can we do better on price?
How long exactly is it going to take?
So this is definitely going to be the final cost?
If my (insert family member here) helps can I get a break?
I thought designs are free?
I know a guy...
Where do I get this material?
What if...


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## dutchroots2 (Sep 20, 2016)

"Can we get a discount for cash?"

"Do we reaaaally need a permit?"


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## Bull Trout (Dec 6, 2016)

this should clear, as they hand you a check


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## Mordekyle (May 20, 2014)

griz said:


> who the phuk stole my weed?????




Things you hate to hear from a homeowner....


.... not your crew.


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## brickhook (May 8, 2012)

MarkJames said:


> "I have friends in the Russian mafia." (true story)


...Seems to be a lot of that around here , too...they say


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## hdavis (Feb 14, 2012)

You can't tear that out, it's perfectly good.


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## KAP (Feb 19, 2011)

*"Just ONE MORE "little" question; shouldn't be a big deal"*... (but is the one that is hardly a little question and changes everything)...


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## VinylHanger (Jul 14, 2011)

I've never made THAT much an hour!?

or...

You just broke a picture frame that my favorite student from 30 years ago made me.

followed up a few days later by...

You just broke a fish mask my kid made in 2nd grade.

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## MarkJames (Nov 25, 2012)

"I started it already."


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## brickhook (May 8, 2012)

blacktop said:


> We need to be In by Thanksgiving !
> 
> We need to be In by Christmas!
> 
> ...


I always tell'em they can go ahead and move in....won't bother me a bit :laughing:


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## m1911 (Feb 24, 2009)

I'm a very horny widow... :laughing:


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## Michaeljp86 (Apr 10, 2007)

A week long job and you get a call and she says you can do it tomorrow.


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## JAH (Jul 27, 2014)

When the husband looks at you and says " My husband thinks your hot.".


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## m1911 (Feb 24, 2009)

JAH said:


> When the husband looks at you and says " My husband thinks *your* hot.".


To which I reply, "my" hot what?

:clap:


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## rselectric1 (Sep 20, 2009)

But the Home Depot guy said...................


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## JAH (Jul 27, 2014)

m1911 said:


> To which I reply, "my" hot what?
> 
> :clap:


These guys are not shy and they are Great customers. My default line has become " Flattering me will get you no where.". :laughing:


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## Calidecks (Nov 19, 2011)

"Were you just checking out my wife's ass?"


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## jhark123 (Aug 26, 2008)

Californiadecks said:


> "Were you just checking out my wife's ass?"


The best reply to this is: "will you be more offended if was or was not"?


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## Windycity (Oct 3, 2015)

So i have a quick question....we were watching some YouTube videos about brickwork yesterday and......


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## Bummie (May 11, 2007)

We will have that room all cleared out for you.

While you are here can you just...............

You will have to watch that the cats don't get out!!!


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## Bummie (May 11, 2007)

Double post for some reason!!:whistling


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## KAP (Feb 19, 2011)

Californiadecks said:


> "Were you just checking out my wife's ass?"


Awkward... after saying no, quickly segway into 'but it's funny, you reminded me of a joke"...


Henry Ford dies and goes to Heaven. At the Gates, St. Peter greets Ford, and tells him, “Well, you’ve been such a good guy, and your invention… the assembly line for the automobile… has changed the world. As a reward, you can hang out with anyone in Heaven you want.”

Ford thinks about it, and says, “I want to hang out with God Himself.” So St. Peter takes Ford to the Throne Room and introduces him to God.

The never-shy Ford then asks God, “When you invented Woman, what were you thinking?”

God asks, “What do you mean?”

“Well,” says Ford, “You have some major design flaws in your invention:


There’s too much front end protrusion.
It chatters way too much at high speeds.
Maintenance is extremely high.
It constantly needs repainting and refinishing.
The rear end wobbles too much.
The headlights are usually too small.
And fuel consumption is outrageous.
“Hmmm…” replies God, “hold on one minute.” God goes over to the Celestial Supercomputer, types a few key strokes, and waits for the results. In no time, the computer prints out a report.

God then turns to Ford, and says, “It may be that my invention is flawed, but according to these statistics, there are more men using my invention than yours!"​
:w00t:


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## Bull Trout (Dec 6, 2016)

Californiadecks said:


> "Were you just checking out my wife's ass?"



Sooooo, were you?


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## Michaeljp86 (Apr 10, 2007)

last september I finished a job and had over $6k wrapped up in it and the HO says Ill pay you when I come up from florida in on christmas.


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## Unger.const (Jun 3, 2012)

(The husband) I just parted ways with the high paying company I was working for. So I can help with the remodel to lower the cost. Unemployment won't be as much as my salary........


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## Krok (Jul 9, 2016)

Windycity said:


> So i have a quick question....we were watching some YouTube videos about brickwork yesterday and......


lol, man youtube, the curse.... Yesterday I was at a big box store, wandering around, killing time while wife shopped next door and, after declining their offers for help, I got into a conversation with two employees there in an aisle. One that was going to work on his next project in his house...had absolutely NO idea what he was talking about...but saw on a couple of youtube videos.

Back to topic....
"I'm a designer...." or "My [fill in the blank] is a designer...."


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## bigdaddyrooster (Jul 16, 2015)

Can I make payments for the last payment application?


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## NYgutterguy (Mar 3, 2014)

Would be ok if I paid you after the first rainstorm.? I'd like to see if they work ok. 


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## Inner10 (Mar 12, 2009)

NYgutterguy said:


> Would be ok if I paid you after the first rainstorm.? I'd like to see if they work ok.
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


How many times has that happened?


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## NYgutterguy (Mar 3, 2014)

Twice. But have had others joke about it . The one this year I Asked her where her garden hose was because a storm was on its way. lol 


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## Metro M & L (Jun 3, 2009)

You work a twelve hour day to finish a floor.

Next morning, "Hey you left all the lights on. You really need to turn those off yadda yadda yadda."

Or just in general the homeowners who worry about putting 5$ dollars on the line when everyday you put $1000 on the line.

Had a vendor send me the wrong wood and I had already started to install it. "Yeah you need to pay for that." "Uh no, you delivered it. If you want to pay me to take it up and relay it that would be fine. But I think it will be a lot more than the $400.00 difference between what you delivered and what you were supposed to." Keep in mind I spend 80k a year with these people.


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## blacktop (Oct 28, 2012)

I just don't have it!


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## TimberlineMD (Jan 15, 2008)

"It can't possibly cost that much!"


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## blacktop (Oct 28, 2012)

Californiadecks said:


> "Were you just checking out my wife's ass?"


Damn you ! I went back three pages looking for a pic of your Wife's ass !


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## SectorSecurity (Nov 26, 2013)

I've got this list of stuff I need I just need you to price it for me and tell me where you are buying it

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## RangoWA (Jun 25, 2014)

"Do you mind if I watch?"


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## Krok (Jul 9, 2016)

SectorSecurity said:


> I've got this list of stuff I need I just need you to price it for me and tell me where you are buying it


 Had a creepy HO do that to me once. He wanted to buy all the materials as he had a bunch of gift cards or some BS, then got to asking me questions about it as I was telling him what I'd need for him to get.
He had written up a whole list of items one would need to do that and even got some knowledge on how to do it. Poor chap, I gave him an incomplete list and skipped a few very important steps.....if he somehow figured out how to make it all work, it's still going to fail....


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## J L (Nov 16, 2009)

Krok said:


> Had a creepy HO do that to me once. He wanted to buy all the materials as he had a bunch of gift cards or some BS, then got to asking me questions about it as I was telling him what I'd need for him to get.
> He had written up a whole list of items one would need to do that and even got some knowledge on how to do it. Poor chap, I gave him an incomplete list and skipped a few very important steps.....if he somehow figured out how to make it all work, it's still going to fail....
> 
> 
> Sent from my XM 177 using DoubleTap


About the time he was far enough along to figure out it wasn't going to work he was cussing you as a hack who didn't know what you were talking about :laughing:


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## Krok (Jul 9, 2016)

J L said:


> About the time he was far enough along to figure out it wasn't going to work he was cussing you as a hack who didn't know what you were talking about :laughing:


Dang, I knew I should have charged him for my expert input. 

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## aquakbd (Aug 19, 2016)

"This stone doesn't look the same as the one we picked at your slab yard."
"These cabinets don't look the same in our kitchen as they did in your showroom."


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## KAP (Feb 19, 2011)

What do you mean you're done?...


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## blacktop (Oct 28, 2012)

KAP said:


> What do you mean you're done?...


Did you forget all the .." while you are here's" ?


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## Michaeljp86 (Apr 10, 2007)

When is a good day to start tearing out the water damage around the bathtub?

"I get home at 3 tomorrow, you can do it then."

Its a 3 or 4 day job

"Well tomorrow Ill be home at 3, then Saturday you can work until noon then I have a hair appointment. Sunday Ill be gone all day, Monday Ill be home at 5 but then I have to go to the casino at 6:30 so that would only give you an hour."


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## SectorSecurity (Nov 26, 2013)

Michaeljp86 said:


> When is a good day to start tearing out the water damage around the bathtub?
> 
> "I get home at 3 tomorrow, you can do it then."
> 
> ...


Any people that won't give me a steady window to complete my work get dropped.

I have no issues if you want me to start a little later so I don't wake your kids or not work past a specific hour but I don't do the I can squeeze you in here then again a week from now it's to much of a pain to setup and tare down to accommodate stupid schedules

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## blacktop (Oct 28, 2012)

It's just a couple of patches ..It won't take you 10 minutes!

Sorry folks! There Is no such thing as just 10 minutes in drywall!:no:


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## Michaeljp86 (Apr 10, 2007)

SectorSecurity said:


> Any people that won't give me a steady window to complete my work get dropped.
> 
> I have no issues if you want me to start a little later so I don't wake your kids or not work past a specific hour but I don't do the I can squeeze you in here then again a week from now it's to much of a pain to setup and tare down to accommodate stupid schedules
> 
> Sent from my XP7700 using Tapatalk


I figure they only say that because they dont trust me. If they dont trust me I dont want to work with them. 

If I dont feel they trust me then I dont feel I can trust them and Im not putting my money into someones house who I dont trust. Im going to put $1200 of my money into your bathroom but your worried Im going to steal your half used bottle of $25 perfume. Or eat your leftover pizza in the fridge. Ill keep the $1200 and find some other rotten bathroom to fix.


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## RangoWA (Jun 25, 2014)

"Have you seen where my cat is?"


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## Michaeljp86 (Apr 10, 2007)

RangoWA said:


> "Have you seen where my cat is?"


I was working on a apartment building. Go into this big fat guys apartment and his cat was everything to him. The cat looked like this  and it ran and I never seen him again. Figured it was hiding some place. Over the next few hours I forgot about the cat because I only seen it the second I walked in and I had other things on my mind so I left his apt door open a time or 2. He comes home and asked if I seen his cat. I was so relieved when he found it under the couch. This guy probably would commit suicide if something happened to that cat. He was a opera singer, I guess they only love cats.


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## RangoWA (Jun 25, 2014)

Cats are sneaky.


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## blacktop (Oct 28, 2012)

Michaeljp86 said:


> I figure they only say that because they dont trust me. If they dont trust me I dont want to work with them.
> 
> If I dont feel they trust me then I dont feel I can trust them and Im not putting my money into someones house who I dont trust. Im going to put $1200 of my money into your bathroom but your worried Im going to steal your half used bottle of $25 perfume. Or eat your leftover pizza in the fridge. Ill keep the $1200 and find some other rotten bathroom to fix.


That's right!

If you can't give me a key to your home ? It's a no go!


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## KAP (Feb 19, 2011)

blacktop said:


> It's just a couple of patches ..It won't take you 10 minutes!
> 
> Sorry folks! There Is no such thing as just 10 minutes in drywall!:no:


Unless it's part of a break... :whistling :laughing:


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## Krok (Jul 9, 2016)

Michaeljp86 said:


> This guy probably would commit suicide if something happened to that cat. He was a opera singer, I guess they only love cats.


I had one of that where a little dustmop/dog almost went down an HVAC duct in the floor I was looking into. I snagged it by the nape of its neck as it hit air and the women looked like she was about to lose her child.
I mean...the furnace wasn't even on....


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## rktect1 (Dec 29, 2016)

"Do you mind if I breast feed my baby?"

During one of our design meetings in my office.


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## RangoWA (Jun 25, 2014)

rktect1 said:


> "Do you mind if I breast feed my baby?"
> 
> During one of our design meetings in my office.


I've had em do it wiithout asking. Didn't bother me. I must have an honest face.


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## SectorSecurity (Nov 26, 2013)

Don't think that would bother me either, specially if she had a nice rack.

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## rrk (Apr 22, 2012)

RangoWA said:


> Cats are sneaky.


I once spent half a day trying to get a cat inside a house all the while the cat that was the homeowners WAS inside. The one I was chasing was almost identical, and belonged to someone else. Oops


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## KAP (Feb 19, 2011)

SmallTownGuy said:


> 1/2 way through a job, you roll up, unpack tools and as you get to the front door, "Eleanor" opens it and says :"Hello John. We need to talk. There's been some changes. Henry and I are divorcing."
> 
> And it's on a Monday.:sad:


That sucks, but today's Tuesday unless that makes it another Monday... oh... :blink: :sad:


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## hdavis (Feb 14, 2012)

Tile-guy said:


> Wife passed out naked, open doors when showering and checking out boobs of women. Sorry you've got nothing to complain about. Lol. (Unless she's a nightmare to look at)


Or unless you're trying to finish up and get paid some money....


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## brickhook (May 8, 2012)

Home owner called me yesterday evening late and said he was going into work and we couldnt work on his house today because he needed to sleep today...:no:


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## Calidecks (Nov 19, 2011)

brickhook said:


> Home owner called me yesterday evening late and said he was going into work and we couldnt work on his house today because he needed to sleep today...:no:




Golf. What's the problem?


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## brickhook (May 8, 2012)

Californiadecks said:


> Golf. What's the problem?


I've never been on a golf coarse....:blink:


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## KAP (Feb 19, 2011)

brickhook said:


> I've never been on a golf coarse....:blink:


That's the problem... :whistling :laughing:


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## SectorSecurity (Nov 26, 2013)

From what I hear it's easy you just stand around and drink going from hole to hole

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## avenge (Sep 25, 2008)

hdavis said:


> So, how did she get the bruise?


I actually don't know, she got divorced shortly afterwards, this is the same woman I found naked on the floor. We became good friends she moved to out of state and still keeps in touch.



Tile-guy said:


> Wife passed out naked, open doors when showering and checking out boobs of women. Sorry you've got nothing to complain about. Lol. (Unless she's a nightmare to look at)


I've got all sorts of experiences with women on the jobsite over the years, nothing to complain about, I've enjoyed all of it but the husband or boyfriend could be problematic, I always joked to the women "Who invited him?". Other guys on the jobsite would get pissed because I was always the lucky one but I learned to never mix business with pleasure.

We worked for 2 sisters worked on their separate homes almost yearly. They were hot (until you saw them without make-up like I did) but they were a tease, they were the ones that showered with the door open every time I was there. I would tell the guys don't make any advances even though she's sitting there with her legs spread open and no underwear.


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## SectorSecurity (Nov 26, 2013)

I've learned not to **** where I eat.

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## RangoWA (Jun 25, 2014)

SectorSecurity said:


> From what I hear it's easy you just stand around and drink going from hole to hole


And be sure to blame the caddy for your fliers into the woods. Ask me how I know.


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## 91782 (Sep 6, 2012)

RangoWA said:


> And be sure to blame the caddy for your fliers into the woods. Ask me how I know.


You were the caddy?:blink:


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## RangoWA (Jun 25, 2014)

SmallTownGuy said:


> You were the caddy?:blink:


Yeah, in high school for a summer. Horrible experience. I was just a kid carrying clubs and the aholes expected me to be Tiger Woods' sidekick. Which club? Well this here one looks nice and big.


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## 91782 (Sep 6, 2012)

RangoWA said:


> Yeah, in high school for a summer. Horrible experience. I was just a kid carrying clubs and the aholes expected me to be Tiger Woods' sidekick. Which club? Well this here one looks nice and big.


rotf-lmmfao :laughing::laughing:


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## SectorSecurity (Nov 26, 2013)

When in doubt always go with a 6 club

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## Jaws (Dec 20, 2010)

So I met with a client to get my final draw and go over a few last minute items, and discuss an outdoor project they just added this afternoon. 

The client has a friend there, and she introduced me. "Kathy this is John, our builder." 

Kathy has that deep west Texas oil money drawl that as a Texas contractor you love to hear " Oh it is just so nice to meet you here today! Yall did just a real fine job, just fabulous. It is perfect timing because I need to redo my whole place over on Red Sail or just tear it down!" 

$$$$

I made sure she wasn't in a hurry because it would be summer before we would start swinging hammers. No problem. :clap:

Well let's set a time and go take a look, Kathy. 

She says great and we discuss a time. 

As I'm going back to my job, she mentions her husband already got a qoute from (insert big wanna be hack) and I hope you are a better price because he was ridiculous! 



Can't win em all :laughing::no:


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## hdavis (Feb 14, 2012)

Give her a tear down price...


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## Jaws (Dec 20, 2010)

hdavis said:


> Give her a tear down price...


:laughing: I dont think she was serious about tearing it down, although not uncommon


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## Inner10 (Mar 12, 2009)

Jaws said:


> So I met with a client to get my final draw and go over a few last minute items, and discuss an outdoor project they just added this afternoon.
> 
> The client has a friend there, and she introduced me. "Kathy this is John, our builder."
> 
> ...


It's always a tougher sell coming in as second banana.


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## Jaws (Dec 20, 2010)

Inner10 said:


> It's always a tougher sell coming in as second banana.


I set the meeting for mid February after I get these projects going and let them tour a few of our projects prior to get their appetite set. I bet money I would of heard crickets after I told them what i charge for the proposal much less the price for the work if they thought handy hack was high. 

But , I saved us all the trouble and told her his "bid " would much less than my proposal. She said she would talk to her husband..... 

I'm not too concerned about it I got more than enough to do.


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## VinylHanger (Jul 14, 2011)

Inner10 said:


> It's always a tougher sell coming in as second banana.


Not if you got a better banana.

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## DaVinciRemodel (Oct 7, 2009)

VinylHanger said:


> Not if you got a better banana.
> 
> Sent from my SM-G930V using Tapatalk


But it's real messy.


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## gGriffeth (Dec 21, 2016)

m1911 said:


> I'm a very horny widow... :laughing:


Hearing these words is many people I've worked with's goal for their whole careers lol. 

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## blacktop (Oct 28, 2012)

brickhook said:


> I've never been on a golf coarse....:blink:


So I'm not the only one!


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## Michaeljp86 (Apr 10, 2007)

blacktop said:


> So I'm not the only one!


ive only been once, its was funny.


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## blacktop (Oct 28, 2012)

VinylHanger said:


> Not if you got a better banana.
> 
> Sent from my SM-G930V using Tapatalk


That's right! I hate price wars ..it always ends up being a headache .


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## Michaeljp86 (Apr 10, 2007)

There is some paint under the basement stairs you can use.


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## onyxxteriors5 (Jan 14, 2017)

madrina said:


> What do you mean I owe you more money, I already paid you $12,000 before you started.
> --Yes, that was a down payment on a $32,000 job.
> I thought it was total cost, you didn't explain that well.
> --it's written on the estimate I gave you and your first payment is subtracted from the total, leaving you with the balance circled.
> Oh I can't afford that!


Had a man decide he wasn't going to pay and I was too tired to argue. My guys were loading up the last of the equipment and I screamed, "Get the ladders back out and take it all down. We are taking the siding with us." You have never seen a customer run so fast to get his check book.


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## onyxxteriors5 (Jan 14, 2017)

blacktop said:


> That's right! I hate price wars ..it always ends up being a headache .


Simplicity of price wars: If your other guy can do it half priced, then let him do it half way. And don't call me to fix it.


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## KAP (Feb 19, 2011)

blacktop said:


> So I'm not the only one!


Just hope the widow is the sex you want to hear it from... :whistling


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## onyxxteriors5 (Jan 14, 2017)

Here's a shocker for ya. I'm female. And happily married.


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## SectorSecurity (Nov 26, 2013)

onyxxteriors5 said:


> Here's a shocker for ya. I'm female. And happily married.


That's when you reply with something along the line of I'm OK with him watching lol

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## onyxxteriors5 (Jan 14, 2017)

SectorSecurity said:


> That's when you reply with something along the line of I'm OK with him watching lol
> 
> Sent from my XP7700 using Tapatalk


Funny.


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## woodyacd (Jul 31, 2016)

always love to hear 

" I know allot of people who need work so ...."

last week , I gave a guy a price in a condo building on Miami beach 
need a new fire-rated -entry door , and frame 
he said 40 or 50 others will need the exact same front door and frame in the building .
he figures once they see his , they`ll all want one .
so he wants a kick-back from each one because he called me first.

the wife walked out and said ": we should get our for free!"
3 nights in a row , he has called and asked advice on either just changing the door , just changing the frame , or changing both.
if we change the frame can we just re-laminate the existing door with veneer , and re-installed the 2 squares on it . 
to save money ...


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## RangoWA (Jun 25, 2014)

woodyacd said:


> always love to hear
> 
> " I know allot of people who need work so ...."
> 
> ...


If you do it for free you can do a whole bunch more!


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## blacktop (Oct 28, 2012)

onyxxteriors5 said:


> Here's a shocker for ya. I'm female. And happily married.


I'm happily married too.. at least on my end!


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## SectorSecurity (Nov 26, 2013)

Sure give him a free door with zero guarantee anyone else will install one.

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## onyxxteriors5 (Jan 14, 2017)

SectorSecurity said:


> Sure give him a free door with zero guarantee anyone else will install one.
> 
> Sent from my XP7700 using Tapatalk


If you give him a free door, then he'll want more free. These are customers with Cadillac promises and a Pinto delivery system. You will not get more customers off him. Move on to projects that will keep you in business.


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## SectorSecurity (Nov 26, 2013)

My post was meant to be sarcastic Incase that was missed.

I get a lot of why don't you just come look at it and tell me what's wrong so I can fix it myself.

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## Randy615 (Jan 16, 2017)

Can u keep an eye on my kids while i run into town for a bit? They wont give you any problems. Lol.


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## Metro M & L (Jun 3, 2009)

"I'm pregnant."

Only made worse by, "My husband's infertile."


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## heavy_d (Dec 4, 2012)

If Its gonna cost that much I'll just buy a saw and learn how to do it myself. 

Followed by:

I'm not real handy. My dad was but he didn't teach me $h!t.

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## Michaeljp86 (Apr 10, 2007)

Im not going to pay for it, im going to tell the landlord to pay your bill.


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## JB Ryan (Feb 11, 2017)

"Do you take checks?"

It's mostly the older customers who do this so I play nice. Still though, this is when I always do the 50/50 split. I want to make sure the money is going to be there when I'm done.


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## NYgutterguy (Mar 3, 2014)

JB Ryan said:


> "Do you take checks?"
> 
> It's mostly the older customers who do this so I play nice. Still though, this is when I always do the 50/50 split. I want to make sure the money is going to be there when I'm done.




People don't pay by check where you are ? 


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## woodworkbykirk (Sep 17, 2008)

what you did looks great but we changed our mind... do we have to pay to have you redo it....


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## SectorSecurity (Nov 26, 2013)

We already paid someone to do this but they never finished do we have to pay you as well.

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## Bull Trout (Dec 6, 2016)

SectorSecurity said:


> We already paid someone to do this but they never finished do we have to pay you as well.


only have to pay me double


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## Inner10 (Mar 12, 2009)

SectorSecurity said:


> We already paid someone to do this but they never finished do we have to pay you as well.
> 
> Sent from my XP7700 using Tapatalk


Classic.

"I paid a zillion dollars for this gear and the guy vanished before making any of it work; I just need you to set it up and show me how to use it"


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## blacktop (Oct 28, 2012)

We're ready for sheet rock today ... sorry for such short notice ..but all the low ballers said they were busy... so we had to bite the bullet and call you .. do you think you could fit us in?


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## SectorSecurity (Nov 26, 2013)

Inner10 said:


> Classic.
> 
> "I paid a zillion dollars for this gear and the guy vanished before making any of it work; I just need you to set it up and show me how to use it"


I get a lot of well can't you do it remotely?

Yes I can.

Then why isn't it free, you don't have to travel here.

No I just have to dedicate my time to fixing it.

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## rselectric1 (Sep 20, 2009)

Working on a bathroom remodel about 7 years ago. It several doors down from the guy who composed "eye of the tiger" for Stallone. So very snooty neighborhood.

The cabinet manufacturer didn't finish the inside of the rails holding the mirrors in her bathroom, so if you looked carefully you could see the issue in the reflection she was whining about. Very minor.

I was the PM on that job and she stomped and complained that she did not like what she saw when she looked in the mirror.

It took every ounce of patience to not burst out laughing. Let's just say that she must have really been something before electricity.:whistling


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## DaVinciRemodel (Oct 7, 2009)

rselectric1 said:


> ...she stomped and complained that she did not like what she saw when she looked in the mirror.







:laughing: :laughing: :laughing:


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## builditguy (Nov 10, 2013)

Had a customer tell me there was a scratch in the window, burning had to be there at 1:30 to see it.

Yep. Had to be 1:30. That is when the sun would hit the scratch just right, and shine.
There was a scratch in the LowE coating, between the panes. 1:31 you couldn't see it.

We replaced it. No big deal.

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## Anthill (Mar 23, 2013)

its probably in this thread already but;

"I got all the stuff to do the job."

on completion;

"You didn't use any of my stuff! I got everything they told me I'd need....now what do I do with it? Will you take it as partial payment? I'm sure you run into jobs where you could use it"

Answer; umm NO!


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## TaylorMadeAB (Nov 11, 2014)

Called a potential client to set up a meeting to discuss the estimate for window and door replacement for their entire house. 
"Can you just tell me the price over the phone and we will go from there?"

No questions about the brand, features, upgrades. Just a total dollar figure...


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## SectorSecurity (Nov 26, 2013)

Anthill said:


> its probably in this thread already but;
> 
> "I got all the stuff to do the job."
> 
> ...


I hate when they do that.

I get a lot of home owners who will be like we are moving and the new home owners want the cameras taken down (usually a budget box system from Costco that is several years old) 

They usually go you can have it if you do the work for free we are installing a better system in our new house.

Or I bought a box of cable from home depot you can have it for a stupid price because they over paid for it.

I don't know at which point they think it's like buying a used car where they can bring a trade in to reduce the price

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## Anthill (Mar 23, 2013)

I heard it this morning;

"We put a coat of mud on your tape joints over the weekend to help you out"

What's the answer???


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## Tinstaafl (Jan 6, 2008)

Anthill said:


> What's the answer???


Depends. Did they do a good job? :laughing:

"Thanks; I'll record that as a negative discount."


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## Youngin' (Sep 16, 2012)

Anthill said:


> I heard it this morning;
> 
> "We put a coat of mud on your tape joints over the weekend to help you out"
> 
> What's the answer???


"It costs more if you help."


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## Anthill (Mar 23, 2013)

Surprisingly, they did a good job. But, that is not the point. Its my responsibility to get it done properly. I loaded my tools and left.


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## blacktop (Oct 28, 2012)

kirkdc said:


> and the other one... " I can do it myself but don't have the time"
> 
> )


I've heard that one many times. Usually after they're half way through the hang and finish they thought they knew how to do .


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## blacktop (Oct 28, 2012)

shurpaZac said:


> just little pieces of blue painter's tape stuck everywhere:jester:


I went into home for a lady once that wanted me to fix some screw pops. She had about 30 post it's on the ceiling. All of them were numbered from one to thirty! 

I didn't ask..But wanted to . Why did you number them ??


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## SuperiorHIP (Aug 15, 2010)

blacktop said:


> I went into home for a lady once that wanted me to fix some screw pops. She had about 30 post it's on the ceiling. All of them were numbered from one to thirty!
> 
> I didn't ask..But wanted to . Why did you number them ??


How else would you keep track of which ones you've counted and how many there are? :laughing:


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## smilehvac (Mar 29, 2017)

dutchroots2 said:


> "I would have done this myself, but I didn't have the time."


Yap. Surely it has been most common in homeowners and too much weired to hear.


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## Michaeljp86 (Apr 10, 2007)

smilehvac said:


> Yap. Surely it has been most common in homeowners and too much weired to hear.


I get that a lot and find it a bit degrading. 

"Normally I would do this myself but dont have the time"

So you think Im just doing your  work???


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## sparehair (Nov 21, 2008)

Michaeljp86 said:


> I get that a lot and find it a bit degrading.
> 
> "Normally I would do this myself but dont have the time"
> 
> So you think Im just doing your  work???


No, what theyre saying is it would take them three times as long and not be as good as a pro. 

Their time is worth $25 and hour. If they pay you 75 an hour the cost is a wash and they dont have to do anything.

Take it as a compliment.



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## Inner10 (Mar 12, 2009)

Michaeljp86 said:


> I get that a lot and find it a bit degrading.
> 
> "Normally I would do this myself but dont have the time"
> 
> So you think Im just doing your  work???


That's exactly what you are doing, work... But you get paid what's the problem?


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## hdavis (Feb 14, 2012)

Michaeljp86 said:


> I get that a lot and find it a bit degrading.
> 
> "Normally I would do this myself but dont have the time"
> 
> So you think Im just doing your  work???


I don't find it degrading at all. In fact, I've given detailed written instructions to a DIYer on how to install and trim a prehung interior door the fast and foolproof way. The couldn't / didn't follow instructions, and screwed it up.

By the time a HO does it the first time slowly, then has to correct their screw ups and / or do it over, a lot of them would do it but don't have the time. A small job for a pro may be a big job for a HO.


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## VinylHanger (Jul 14, 2011)

Doesn't bother me either. It's what I tell my plumber or electrician on my own place. When I have the money to get stuff worked on, I don't have the time. I'd rather have them rewire the kitchen while I work. Probably a wash money wise, but it would take me longer so I'd actually lose money. What they can do in an couple hours at a fill in rate, would take me all day.

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## Bummie (May 11, 2007)

Don't let the cat get out!! Like wtf???


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## hartconst64 (Apr 13, 2017)

You should have warned me your radial arm saw in the garage was plugged in ! 
Or one of everyone's all time favorites : 
I sent your drawings and a copy of your bid to my cousin, the realtor, who knows everything about construction, and he said........


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## SectorSecurity (Nov 26, 2013)

Can I borrow this tool I have a job I want to do over here while you work.

No my tools are not here for you to complete personal projects

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## illbuildit.dd (Jan 7, 2015)

SectorSecurity said:


> Can I borrow this tool I have a job I want to do over here while you work.
> 
> No my tools are not here for you to complete personal projects
> 
> Sent from my XP7700 using Tapatalk


Or when you say "I'll be right back. I'm going to go get my such and such h out of the truck" and they say "oh I have one right here!". No thanks. I'm just use to mine.


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## SectorSecurity (Nov 26, 2013)

That is usually a here use my tape measure the first 5 inches are missing and it's bent to **** but it still works

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## TaylorMadeAB (Nov 11, 2014)

illbuildit.dd said:


> Or when you say "I'll be right back. I'm going to go get my such and such h out of the truck" and they say "oh I have one right here!". No thanks. I'm just use to mine.




I like when the offer their power tools for me to use. I think a lot of them just want to see them get used on their house. 
Although if they offer me a broom or vacuum, I'll always say yes! 


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## SectorSecurity (Nov 26, 2013)

Broom yes vacuum no, I don't wanna hear no **** about you broke my 700$ vacuum

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## RangoWA (Jun 25, 2014)

"Do you mind if I watch?"


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## Mordekyle (May 20, 2014)

(Silent gesturing and extending of telephone toward me because daughter has been called to ask a question because father speaks only Cantonese and watches over my shoulder as I make a measurement because I'm helping out a former acquaintance who got burned by a hack and giving him a good rate but everything hasn't been completed in a short enough time)

Only job I walked off of after insisting on having former acquaintance cash the check and hand over the amount due. Excepting $50 for some reason only understandable to cheapskate homeowners wanting to save money by playing GC and are happy with walls 3" out of plumb.


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## madrina (Feb 21, 2013)

cvtsf said:


> I'd like my son to work with you


I was doing a concrete countertop for a friend of mine and she had this really annoying boyfriend that insisted on helping but really he just stood in my way and talked my head off non stop so i couldnt concentrate or work because I couldnt cut my forms or screw them in because he would stand next to me yelling over the noise of the saw. He followed me around everywhere i went and he was one of those close talkers and a Butt bumper too. (butt bumper is someone who follows you blindly anywhere you go and if you were to stop suddenly, the bump into you just fyi)

He never helped do anything, but Id send him on little errands that I knew were impossible feats just to get him away from me. Like, "Can you go find a screw that looks JUST LIKE THIS 5" TPO SCREW in your garage>?" LOL and this is a guy that couldnt pick a drill out of a line up of screw drivers. 

So at this time, I just happened to have a broken arm with a cast on.... no big deal to me, i can just use the other arm to carry my 5 gallon buckets of concrete inside... Well Mr. Chivalry here, sees me and runs to my aid, demanding I let him carry the bucket for me. i had no choice but to give in... so he grabs it, turns around, its too heavy for him or he wasnt expecting it to be as heavy as it was and he slams the bucket into the side of the door, then bangs his shin into it, meanwhile trying to gain his balance and get the bucket from inbetween his legs, he trips over the threshold stumbles inside, finally loses his balance right at the edge of the plastic and dumps the whole frecking bucket on her white livingroom carpet. oh yeah. 

i couldnt do anything but walk away shaking my head. I was so http://img.contractortalk.com/smilies/censored.gif 

So i go back to my concrete mixer, put another bucket NEAR it and this jackAZ comes running out apologizing and frantic looking for something to clean that spill up with.... again he is 2 inches from my face begging for forgiveness, puts his hand on the lever to the concrete mixer and flips the thing over and out spills all the concrete on his foot, the floor some got in the bucket but not much... finally i told my friend that he had to leave and not come back. 

The next day we were talking prices about some other stuff and i told her it would be 200 if i did it myself and 500 if her boyfriend helped.


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## madrina (Feb 21, 2013)

I love when the customer wants to help you measure something. "its 5 feet 2 inches and 3 little lines."


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