# Dumb Excuses for Missing Work



## Chopsaw Chick (May 6, 2011)

I really hate firing people. But sometimes they just make it easy. . . 

One of my guys called in sick last week because he said a girl punched him in the mouth. Seriously?!!! He's a nice guy with a girlfriend so I really can't imagine what happened, don't want to either. I figured it was better if he only got punched by one girl this week. . . so I told him to not bother showing up the next day either. 

I'm just curious to hear any other lame excuses for missing work. I probably should give this guy credit for at least telling the truth but sometimes honesty isn't really the best policy. :blink: Thoughts?


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## 480sparky (Feb 1, 2009)

Some of the more wacky stories I've been privvy to over the years:

_My bag of chips wouldn't fit into my lunch cooler, so I had to go shopping for a new cooler.

My tires were frozen to the parking lot.

My grandmother passed away (spoken for the 24th time).

I was told I would be fired if I showed up late one more time. So when I realized I was going to be late, I just called in sick and took the entire day off.

My water was shut off for non-payment, so I had to go to city hall and make a payment._

_I got an eviction notice yesterday and need to go make some money to pay my back rent._ (This was on a Friday, when he would get his paycheck at the end of the day)





And my all-time favorite:

_I had a heart attack on my way to the job site, so I pulled off onto the shoulder of the road until it was over._


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## jaydee (Mar 20, 2014)

employee="you don't pay me enough."and "I can't even afford to buy POT"
ME="well take tomorrow off also, look for a new job.

employee"your firing me ?

ME " NOPE, you fired yourself"


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## Alldayrj (Oct 9, 2014)

Guy missed his first day "because he was drunk and overslept. See you tomorrow?"
Me- "no". Click


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## thehockeydman (Dec 19, 2012)

"My mom says I have to miss work today because she scheduled a dentist appointment but didn't tell me 'til now."

DUDE!!! You're 23 years old and can't book your own dentist appointments??? If that's the case, no way you'll be able to build a house….


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## 480sparky (Feb 1, 2009)

thehockeydman said:


> "My mom says I have to miss work today because she scheduled a dentist appointment but didn't tell me 'til now."
> 
> DUDE!!! You're 23 years old and can't book your own dentist appointments??? If that's the case, no way you'll be able to build a house….


Maybe the appointment was for Mommy and she needs a ride home 'cuz she'd be all loopy afterwards.


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## Donohue Const (Dec 31, 2011)

"I can't make it to work today because my mom forgot to leave me gas money."

I think he was 24

I had a full time job and my own apartment when I was 18. Some people are so lazy.


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## EthanB (Sep 28, 2011)

I let a guy go this summer. He always had the dumbest reasons for being late. I put up with it through the summer because we had another kid and I really didn't want to be leaving a new hire on the site. 

When I finally fired him he had been late four days in a row because he had to put his gf's son on the school bus before he could get ready for work.:blink: I said "Listen man, we're done but did you ever think about getting ready BEFORE you put him on the bus?". He looked at me like I was speaking Chinese. He had an hour from the school bus pick up until we started for the day and only lived 30 minutes away.


The best one I ever heard was this old *******, who was never late, show up an hour late one day and tell the PM, "Sorry boss, the old lady was getting pregnant this morning and I really wanted to be there for it."


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## Xtrememtnbiker (Jun 9, 2013)

EthanB said:


> The best one I ever heard was this old *******, who was never late, show up an hour late one day and tell the PM, "Sorry boss, the old lady was getting pregnant this morning and I really wanted to be there for it."


:laughing: :laughing:


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## jaydee (Mar 20, 2014)

EthanB said:


> He had an hour from the school bus pick up until we started for the day and only lived 30 minutes away.



Had one kid this summer at least 10 minutes late for a week.

We were working LESS than 5 minutes from his house. :blink::sad:


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## prowork (Oct 5, 2012)

I've heard some funny ones, but I don't pay any attention to them. I dont have time to listen to everyones BS. I just care about the stats; How frequently are days missed - How often are you late.


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## mako1 (Sep 1, 2013)

Had a guy tell me"My body wanted to go to work but my mind wouldn't let it"


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## Warren (Feb 19, 2005)

Usually the most bizarre ones are actually true. Some stuff you just can't make up.

My all time favorite:

This guy was always running a little late. One day he shows up a full hour late. He says he woke up with a bad cough, and rummage through the medicine cabinet half awake. Opened the bottle and chugged a few gulps of what he assumed was cough medicine. Turns out it was some kind of flea dip for his dog. He said he was on the phone with Poison control for a half an hour. 

It did make his coat real shiny though!


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## charlie828 (Feb 22, 2009)

"I didn't have any clean clothes." "My pants were in the dryer." "My brother got shot in the stomach and is going to die." 10 days later when he showed up he said he never had a brother. "Some girl I didn't know hit me with a 2x4 for no reason and I had to go to jail for 3 days." "I had to pee in a bottle for my probation officer." "I had to go to court." "My brother escaped from jail and I had to help the sheriff find him."


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## Stephen H (Feb 18, 2011)

sometimes it's just better to roll with it.

Had a young guy tiernan who worked with me for 2 years---- T. was ALWAYS 15 minutes late----every day he was there at 8:15---every day

so---eventually I just realized T.'s starting time was 8:15--- problem solved.

T.'s job---was to shovel all the debris into a dump trailer( among other chores)----and every day by quiting time everything was ship shape--- so I figure--- in the greater scheme of things---what do I care if T starts at 8---or at 8:15.

stephen


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## griz (Nov 26, 2009)

Hey Boss, I got an eye problem....

can't see coming to work....


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## 480sparky (Feb 1, 2009)

Stephen H said:


> sometimes it's just better to roll with it.
> 
> Had a young guy tiernan who worked with me for 2 years---- T. was ALWAYS 15 minutes late----every day he was there at 8:15---every day
> 
> ...



Some people honestly believe that 'start time' really means, 'the time I start driving to work'.


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## rustyjames (Aug 28, 2008)

What really irks me is when they're late and they have a cup of coffee in their hand that they stopped and picked up on the way in.


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## 480sparky (Feb 1, 2009)

rustyjames said:


> What really irks me is when they're late and they have a cup of coffee in their hand that they stopped and picked up on the way in.



What's worse is when they have a half-hour lunch break. By 11:15, they're slowing down and the toolbelts hit the floor at 11:30. 

But first, stop by the gas station to take a shyte. NO WAY are they gonna 'sit down' in that Porta-Potty! Next, swing by the tobacco store to get some coffin nails. God forbid buying them at the gas station you were just at.... they're 10¢ cheaper at the tobacco outlet!

THEN off to the fast food joint. Of course, lunch doesn't 'officially' start until your meal is given to you, you've got your drink and you sit down.

40 minutes later, it's, "Oh, I guess we'd better head back now!." And along the way, it's stopping at the gas station again to pick up a 2-gallon jug of Mountain Dew and a 15-pound bag of sunflower seeds.

(Never mind buying gas now. You'll do that on the way back to the shop when you leave the site 20 minutes early!)

105 minutes later, they're back on the job. But first, they gotta flap their gums about last night's ball game. Around 1:30 or so, the toolbelts get put back on.


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## JAH (Jul 27, 2014)

Chopsaw Chick said:


> I really hate firing people. But sometimes they just make it easy. . .
> 
> One of my guys called in sick last week because he said a girl punched him in the mouth. Seriously?!!! He's a nice guy with a girlfriend so I really can't imagine what happened, don't want to either. I figured it was better if he only got punched by one girl this week. . . so I told him to not bother showing up the next day either.
> 
> I'm just curious to hear any other lame excuses for missing work. I probably should give this guy credit for at least telling the truth but sometimes honesty isn't really the best policy. :blink: Thoughts?


I have used that line... But I had the broken nose and black eye to prove it.


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