# Embarrased



## mmike032 (May 30, 2007)

new construction....
dropping a duece in a bucket in a back bedroom closet cause there wasnt a mexican space shuttle on the job.
I here the builder calling me, I dont answer him cause I'm concentrating on the job at hand and would like to finish incognito.
He walks in on me, " OPPS" he says
his face::blink:
my face:


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## macography (Jun 21, 2009)

mmike032 said:


> new construction....
> dropping a duece in a bucket in a back bedroom closet cause there wasnt a mexican space shuttle on the job.
> I here the builder calling me, I dont answer him cause I'm concentrating on the job at hand and would like to finish incognito.
> He walks in on me, " OPPS" he says
> ...


:w00t::laughing::laughing:


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## BobsLandscaping (May 25, 2009)

Damn, well I guess it's back to mining the internet for Australian porn.


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## naptown CR (Feb 20, 2009)

fourcornerhome said:


> not like that, but I did discover after a sales call that my fly was down.


\
I have had this happen on several occasions. Funny thing is I closed every single one of them. Can't remember what the demographic of the Ho was. I think mostly single women, but I may be dreaming. That's a happy thought for the end of the day!


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## Dan V. (Oct 16, 2008)

> mexican space shuttle


:laughing::laughing::laughing::thumbup:

I'm gonna remember that one!


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## mmike032 (May 30, 2007)

be careful
mexican space shuttles may cause blue anus


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## Warren (Feb 19, 2005)

On the way to Home Depot once and spilled a whole cup of coffee on my crotch. No burns but big wet spot. Got myself a cart and "hid" behind it as I got what I needed. Think it was only a small box of finish nails which probably seemed odd that I would get a cart just for that.


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## Dan V. (Oct 16, 2008)

> be careful
> mexican space shuttles may cause blue anus


Warning: The topics covered on this site include activities in which there exists the potential for serious injury or death. :laughing:


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## Astrix (Feb 23, 2009)

Pretty boring working in an insurance office; nothing funny happens to me. But my drywaller husband told me this story that happend years ago at a subdivision he was working at:

Foreman was training a group of co-op students from the local community college program. They were gathered around him in the empty shell of an unfinished house and he was showing them the safe use of a Hilti nail gun. As he holds the gun down towards the floor, he accidently shoots himself in the foot. The nail went right through his boot and literally nailed his foot to the floor so that he couldn't move. He then had the kids run around to find another trades working in the neighbouring houses to come over and pry the nail out with claw hammer.


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## Gus Dering (Oct 14, 2008)

I was a young contractor building a deck around a pool down a steep hill from the clients home. For the most part we were working far from ear shot of the home and safe to banter as most construction workers do.

  I had a male dog that came to work with me and the owner had a small lap dog that stayed in the house or very close to it most all the time.

  One day I was standing on the deck with my back to the stairs we had just completed and talking to my good friend that was working with me as he was down on ground level between the joists in an area with no deck boards.

  The little dog shows up to my left and my dog proceeds to bury his nose in the little dog's butt for a good sniff.

  About this time I figure I'll entertain my friend by urging my dog to "mate" her Brandy, "mate" her. "mate" her right in the butt. Just before I was about to say "Here I'll hold her for you" I notice my friend saying my name through his teeth to grab my attention as his gaze is focused behind me.

  I turn to see the woman owner sitting on the bottom step of those brand new stairs not 12 ft behind me. 

  I lost all ability to support my own weight and went to my belly and stuck my head under the deck. My friend popped down below. We had a meeting.

  All I could think or say is "They owe me 12 grand" 

 My friend was shaking his head and laughing.

  "What should I do?" I asked 

  I would go with ignoring it, he said

  That's the way I played it and so did she. Thank God


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## loneframer (Feb 13, 2009)

I was working with another carp setting J-channel on a stair landing when the boss shows up. He says "You guys are doing a great job, I was on the phone with Mrs. HO and she was so excited about the siding, I thought she was going to have an orgasm." 
A few seconds pass, then from the window above the landing, "I wasn't that excited Bob"..........He melted down the stairs like a cartoon character.:laughing:
He didn't show his face again for a few days. I almost felt bad for him, but that s#!t was funny.:thumbup:


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## Handymanservice (Mar 1, 2009)

Not embarrassing for me, but, we were at the race track one time. My wife and I bump into a good friend, he already has his firesuit on for the night. We are chatting it up and all of a sudden my wife says "Hey Matt, hold still", she reaches to his collar and pulls a pair of his wife's panties off the velcro closure. They were the little dental floss thong type, and I swear he turned purple he was so embarrassed.

He had been walking around like that for an hour or two, who knows how many people noticed and didn't say anything, leave it to my wife.


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## ampman (Apr 1, 2009)

working for a lady who was a clean freak worst i've ever seen anyway while using my vac. to clean drywall dust up my filter must have come off i turn around and the whole house looks like a fog had set in . she never called again


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## insane (May 27, 2009)

About 10 years ago, i had a real genius working for me. One day he has to drop a deuce and unbenounced to me he decides to go under the porch, which is under the front door. The ho See's him and she asks him what he is doing. He said " I'm looking for my wedding ring ". Needless to say he went commando for the rest of the day.
What a dope.

Tim


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## Magnettica (Dec 19, 2006)

genecarp said:


> Showed up for an estimate, big beautiful home, as i walk around the house with Mrs Jones looking at the list of work, i feel something around the bottom of my pant leg. I ignore it for several minutes as we talk, finally i look down to see whats the deal, much to my dismay, at that moment, yesterdays underwear drop right out on the floor from my pant leg. I look at mrs Jones, she looks at my underwear, then at me, i casually bend down, pick my tighty whities up, and calmly put them in my pocket. Me and mrs Jones make believe nothing happen, She never called again:sad:. G
> 
> Moral of the story, when you pick up yesterdays pants off the floor, check the leg for yesterdays undies before you put them on:laughing:.



:laughing:

Same thing happened to me only it didn't happen in front of a customer, it happened in front everyone at work during the morning "coffee haha/ load the van time" before going out on the road. That was weird.


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## 1984svo (Oct 8, 2007)

Astrix said:


> Pretty boring working in an insurance office; nothing funny happens to me. But my drywaller husband told me this story that happend years ago at a subdivision he was working at:
> 
> Foreman was training a group of co-op students from the local community college program. They were gathered around him in the empty shell of an unfinished house and he was showing them the safe use of a Hilti nail gun. As he holds the gun down towards the floor, he accidently shoots himself in the foot. The nail went right through his boot and literally nailed his foot to the floor so that he couldn't move. He then had the kids run around to find another trades working in the neighbouring houses to come over and pry the nail out with claw hammer.


This sounds a little urban legend/exageration to me. All the powder tools except the ramset viper need a 1-2 procedure to fire. This means you have to compress and then pull trigger. tool will not fire unless this is done. the viper is a "bump fire" tool for cieling wire attachements. there is no way that nail went the 2 feet or so from his hand/thigh area through his boot and into the floor far enough to need a prybar.


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## BMAN (Aug 21, 2006)

genecarp said:


> Showed up for an estimate, big beautiful home, as i walk around the house with Mrs Jones looking at the list of work, i feel something around the bottom of my pant leg. I ignore it for several minutes as we talk, finally i look down to see whats the deal, much to my dismay, at that moment, yesterdays underwear drop right out on the floor from my pant leg. I look at mrs Jones, she looks at my underwear, then at me, i casually bend down, pick my tighty whities up, and calmly put them in my pocket. Me and mrs Jones make believe nothing happen, She never called again:sad:. G
> 
> Moral of the story, when you pick up yesterdays pants off the floor, check the leg for yesterdays undies before you put them on:laughing:.


On those same lines, in one of my honeymoon pictures My wife and I are standing on the stairs of the grand ballroom of the ship and getting our picture taken dressed to the nines. With a Dryer Sheet hanging out the bottm of my pants that we never saw till we got home and really looked at the pictures!!


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## Joe Carola (Jun 15, 2004)

A GC friend of mine was on a jobsite inside the dining room talking to the homeowners and my friend opened up the blinds to show them something outside and one of his guys happened to be standing urinating facing the window. My friend said that him, the husband and wife were standing there in shock. My friend here's the wife say, "Oh my God, I've never seen one that big before".

My friend said it the guys monster looked like it was a foot long and the guy just put it back in and practically ran away. My friend said that he was shocked that the HO's saw that but more shocked when the wife said what she said, so my friend just turned and looked at the HO's and started clapping for his worker. He didn't know what else to to but say "God Bless him".:clap::clap:


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## Inner10 (Mar 12, 2009)

After installing a phone system in a high-end home a few years back myself and my co-worker were testing all the extensions and the door interfaces; we picked up the habit of calling the other and answering by yelling "FCUK YOU" and various vulgar lines into the handset. It was all good fun until the HO answered the phone and got an earful, we explained it to him and all had a good laugh.

Helping a friend mount up a few things in his new apartment about three years ago I went to borrow a tool from his toolbox and all I found was a vast collection of sextoys....in a toolbox.

After installing a hometheatre system nearly 5 years ago I began testing all sources while the HO (single male about 65 years old). I grabbed a VHS tape that was unmarked and popped it in the VCR next thing you know 50" of hairy 70's porn pop's up; I tried to contain my laughter as I hit the eject button. The HO's face turned red as he yelled "thats not mine! I don't know where that came from!"...all I said was "looks like thats working well".

Somehow I mixed up the combus wire of a multizone controller with the phone system (same patch bay) and caused the strangest phone issues I've ever had, spent about 5 hours troubleshooting before I moved the patch cable over and fixed everything...doh.


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## nailkiller1 (Jan 15, 2009)

we were doing a job for another contractor
putting on roof sheeting guy i am working with suddenly has to go to the bathroom makes it as far as the bottom of the ladder does his buisness
back to work 
HO shows up ten minutes later with his dog
they come around the corner dog ends up eating said accident everybody saw it but no one said anything
next day contractor is yelling at everyone wants to know who did that by the side of the house
HO called said he went home and dog threw up all over the carpet:laughing:


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## Joe Carola (Jun 15, 2004)

nailkiller1 said:


> we were doing a job for another contractor
> putting on roof sheeting guy i am working with suddenly has to go to the *bathroom makes it as far as the bottom of the ladder does his buisness
> back to work*


You can't be serious.


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## nailkiller1 (Jan 15, 2009)

very serious 
I forgot he cut off his sleeve to wipe


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## hbelectric (Oct 8, 2007)

fourcornerhome said:


> not like that, but I did discover after a sales call that my fly was down.


Friday I went to put in finish trim in a couples Master Bedroom. First time I was there the lady was pretty snobish.

This time no husband, she sat on the bed while I'l was working trying to make conversation, and yes HER fly down the entire time.


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## Joe Carola (Jun 15, 2004)

nailkiller1 said:


> very serious
> I forgot he cut off his sleeve to wipe


What kind of scumbag, Mutagen, degenerate, POS would do something like that?Where is this scumbag from? Did this APE get fired the next day?


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## strathd (Jan 12, 2009)

nailkiller1 said:


> very serious
> I forgot he cut off his sleeve to wipe


 Mucho referrals sa ?


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## rbsremodeling (Nov 12, 2007)

Joe Carola said:


> What kind of scumbag, Mutagen, degenerate, POS would do something like that?Where is this scumbag from? Did this APE get fired the next day?


So you never drop a deuce of a ladder before Joe:blink:


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## Joe Carola (Jun 15, 2004)

rbsremodeling said:


> So you never drop a deuce of a ladder before Joe:blink:


In my other life as an ape:laughing:


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## rbsremodeling (Nov 12, 2007)

Joe Carola said:


> In my other life as an ape:laughing:


He wiped it off on his sleeve. Doesn't that count for anything.


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## excellencee (Feb 1, 2007)

We were on a new house without a porta potty. It was raining and some jerk dropped a deuce under the ho's dining canopy down in the field. The ho's came up on Friday afternoon with their dog who ran to the field and returned with sh!* on his face with a pair of undies turned a$$ wipe in his mouth. Nobody fessed up but we all got an earfull.


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## Gus Dering (Oct 14, 2008)

When I was a young framer working for someone else, I showed up all hung over and first thing we have to lift a big wall.

I feel a slight anal leakage while grunting it off the deck. Get it braced off and jump down and retreat to the bushes to do some damage control.

Take a peek expecting the worst, and my ****** tighties are clean but wet. 

Huh? Must have just been some water in my butt or something. Back to work.

One of the guys sees my wet spot. Makes the announcement that Gus crapped his pants. Lots of laughter, ribbing....

Then I tell them I did not crap myself, I checked, it's clear and no smell, so no crap.

The boss enters the conversation with the authoritarian attitude. "If it came out of your ass, you crapped yourself"

How do you argue with that?:whistling


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## Joe Carola (Jun 15, 2004)

rbsremodeling said:


> He wiped it off on his sleeve. Doesn't that count for anything.


I guess he's a scumbag, Mutagen, degenerate, POS ape who sh!ts off a ladder who wipes with his sleeve.


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## nailkiller1 (Jan 15, 2009)

he did not go off the ladder he made it to the bottom
thats as far as he could make it
there was no toilet either
he wasnt a scumbag maybe a degenerate
not sure what a mutagen is
the funniest part was when the contractor was yelling at everyone
the violator started yelling at the contractor for not having a toilet:laughing:


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## Joe Carola (Jun 15, 2004)

nailkiller1 said:


> he did not go off the ladder he made it to the bottom
> thats as far as he could make it
> there was no toilet either
> he wasnt a scumbag maybe a degenerate
> ...


Are you saying that this was an accident and his poopy just hit him within seconds and he couldn't make it to a toilet?

Mutagen is just another name of a person who is a mutant. Scumbag, POS.....etc . My brother-in-law is a cop in Jersey City and that's what he calls them.


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## mmike032 (May 30, 2007)

sounds like he had the ****s, couldnt make it any farther w/out ****ting himself.
at least he got off the roof


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## ampman (Apr 1, 2009)

nailkiller1 said:


> very serious
> I forgot he cut off his sleeve to wipe


 you forgot to add he was wearing a sleeveless shirt


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## ampman (Apr 1, 2009)

rbsremodeling said:


> So you never drop a deuce of a ladder before Joe:blink:


when you got to go you got go!!!!!!


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## nailkiller1 (Jan 15, 2009)

yes, he was actully a very neat and tidy person 
and a very good carpenter 
I am sure he didnt want everybody to see him with his pants down and twinkie hangin in the wind surely an emergency


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## JT Wood (Dec 17, 2007)

rbsremodeling said:


> So you never drop a deuce of a ladder before Joe:blink:


yeah,, some kind of square?


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## Joe Carola (Jun 15, 2004)

nailkiller1 said:


> yes, he was actully a very neat and tidy person
> and a very good carpenter
> I am sure he didnt want everybody to see him with his pants down and twinkie hangin in the wind surely an emergency


I take back all the bad things I said. I didn't realize it was an accident. A friend of mine years ago was playing softball and as he was rounding second going to to third he felt something bad in his stomach. As he slid into third he sh!t himself.


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## katoman (Apr 26, 2009)

When we start a new job, first thing is where is the washroom, and can we use it. If not, I'll be charging for a Porta Poti. 

When you gotta go, you need somewhere to go. :thumbsup:

ps. It's the law.


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## 2ndGen (Apr 6, 2006)




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## 4 seasons (Jan 4, 2010)

This whole thread is epic!


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## Master Mechanic (Oct 25, 2006)

My 2nd month on my own, I had to use the restroom and took care of business, well I flushed and the toilet overflowed and wouldn't stop. The shut off had no handle and I had a pool of water on the floor. My plunger was at another job 20 minutes away. The second I open the bathroom door, my client was staring at me and asked me what happened. Duh, isn't it pretty obvious! I'm still laughing about it even though it happened 10 years ago!


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## ohiohomedoctor (Dec 26, 2010)

Master Mechanic said:


> My 2nd month on my own, I had to use the restroom and took care of business, well I flushed and the toilet overflowed and wouldn't stop. The shut off had no handle and I had a pool of water on the floor. My plunger was at another job 20 minutes away. The second I open the bathroom door, my client was staring at me and asked me what happened. Duh, isn't it pretty obvious! I'm still laughing about it even though it happened 10 years ago!


Ouch.


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## FramingPro (Jan 31, 2010)

i had an interesting experience with a deaf couple yesterday. I was doing a trade show with Chris and crew. So i was there and as people walked by "hey guys, got any questions?" blah blah.
so this couple was at one end of the booth for a few minutes and according to my colleagues they were very openly doing sign language (i didn't see ****) so finally they came over to me, and my friends were all holding their breath "oh god hes not gonna ask, oh he won't ask will he "
Well sure enough "hey guys got any questions for us today" and well lets just say the both of us were really confused. I was confused, and im sure he probably was... "hey Jaya can you come handle this one, i have an incoming call from Chris" :laughing: 
woopsies.


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## Seven-Delta-FortyOne (Mar 5, 2011)

This is great. A whole thread with grown men talking about $h!tting themselves and m#sturb#ting. All begun by a Handi-Hack talking about his Hack Job.


:wallbash:


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## chewy (May 23, 2010)

I was on a big job, we hang around until about a month after the clients move in because of variations, I had the black pulling cover from some fibre optic cable which is essentially a 18 inch black rubber dildo... I thought it would be funny to put an old recipro blade in there and sneak up on people with the cordless sawzall and assualt them, it was until I was chasing a guy around with it in our lunchroom when 2 office ladies walked past... Not really much you can say.

On a big site it was the end of lunch and we were having a farting competition, I must have had one up the spout because I followed through... Waddled down to the toilet portacom and cut my undies off with my ***** containing the broken arrow, cleaned myself up with water from the cistern and TP then called my mate to watch that the coast was clear whilst I got the goods to the dumpster.


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## AmeliaP (Apr 22, 2007)

> This is great. A whole thread with grown men talking about $h!tting themselves and m#sturb#ting. All begun by a Handi-Hack talking about his Hack Job.


:laughing::laughing::laughing:

I have 4 older brothers so I always think farts are funny....I think I failed a girl test somewhere based on that. :laughing:

I was cutting wire and I pinched a boob in front of a 'new to us' GC earlier this year. I keeled over laughing and clutching my chest, the GC got all concerned because he didn't realize I was laughing and he really couldn't check on the possible injury. Meanwhile Bill is down in the hole laying block going "no, no she's fine, just leave her.....she'll be fine in a minute".


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## mgb (Oct 31, 2008)

Stumbled out of a club around midnight. Figuring my friend would be outside. No dice, so I stumbled over to a nearby building. Prop'd myself straight and decided to give him a call.

Got through, I said "where are you?" he replied with the same question, I answered "outside". Few seconds pass and he says "outside where?". I replied naming the club. He then hung up. Confused I waited a little while and then ran into him.

Didn't think anything of it until the following monday. Showed up to work, boss says man you were ****faced on saturday. Apparently I was talking to my boss and when I told him I was outside he peered through his window expecting to see me drunk standing on his front lawn.


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## VinylHanger (Jul 14, 2011)

I was siding a house one winter and the J-channel kept cracking. No matter what I did, it would crack when I cut the 45. Needless to say, I was getting frustrated.

I had a window all done, just needed to nip the J and snap. I ripped that piece off, ripped the rest of it off, threw my hammer down, I think I kicked a passing dog and then let out a string of curse words that would make Ron Jeremy blush.

Just as I was doing this, the HO walked around the corner. I turned beat red, but all the HO said was "Rough day, huh." :laughing:


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## VinylHanger (Jul 14, 2011)

Of course then there's always the gotta whizz and no bodies home, but this bush looks good. At least until you get started and they pull into the driveway.


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## J F (Dec 3, 2005)

Then, you're just helping them save on their water bill. :laughing:


If they're on a well...well...


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## FramingPro (Jan 31, 2010)

VinylHanger said:


> I was siding a house one winter and the J-channel kept cracking. No matter what I did, it would crack when I cut the 45. Needless to say, I was getting frustrated.
> 
> I had a window all done, just needed to nip the J and snap. I ripped that piece off, ripped the rest of it off, threw my hammer down, I think I kicked a passing dog and then let out a string of curse words that would make Ron Jeremy blush.
> 
> Just as I was doing this, the HO walked around the corner. I turned beat red, but all the HO said was "Rough day, huh." :laughing:


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g9fIjYnPazc


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## glassman (Apr 16, 2009)

*embarassing moments*

While replacing an old cracked, plate glass door lite for a customer with new tempered lite,I proceed to tell him how much safer the door is. I even tell him that tempered glass is stronger than his existing plate glass and smack the center of the glass with my hand. I don't know who was in shock the most him or me as the lite shattered in to a million pieces.Thank GOD I always carried extra door lites on my service truck.From that point on I would just do the work and let my supervisor do all the talking.


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## RCCIdaho (Jun 3, 2011)

This is for the employer I just left building log homes. We were doing the finish work and I was selected to finish out the pantry / laundry room. 10' x 12' or so and I had to lid it and do the walls with T&G pine. Ok no sweat, slapped it all on there including a bump out for the plumbing behind the W/D and some floor to ceiling shelves. Boss came in, took a long look around, nodded and walked back out. (One of those types where if he doesn't rip you a new one for your work then he is happy, no attaboys there.)

So everything was cool for a couple days and I was onto the window trim. Everybody is bustling because the owner is coming to do a walk through. One of those folks that is way better off than the rest of us and usually has an entourage of about 4-5 people with him. So they're doing the walk through and no serious issues arise. A couple of the people with him are just walking around pointing out different things of interest and so on. 

What gets me though is there is this one older gentleman and he is literally stopping and staring at things for what seems like 5 mins or so, then moving on to something else. Well he goes into the room I just finished and is sitting there staring at the wall by where the W/D will be. Doing the whole 5 mins or so and I can see him there while working. I start wondering to myself WTF? So he walks out and starts talking to the one guy who maintains the properties of the HO. He comes up to me and was like come here and check this out. So all three of us are in the little room and the old man is like "Where is the dryer supposed to vent to...?" 

Sure as heck I look up and down the wall and there is nothing but the hot and cold water hookup and shiny T&G pine... no exhaust hole...


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## summithomeinc (Jan 3, 2011)

Wow. I'm glad this thread was resurected. Funny chit!

I had a female employee once that had to "tee tee" on a job. No porta potty. She used the tall bushes. Later that day she asked me about the funny looking "lights" on the corners of the house.:laughing:
They weren't lights, they were cameras.


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## Brutus (May 29, 2007)

A year or two ago, we had a roof to go on, and the contractor was in a rush, so boss asked us to work saturday or part of. So I agreed to it. There must of been some mix up in communication as I thought it was a half day, so I didn't bring a lunch. We are out in the woods, about 10-15 minutes away from the grocery store. So when boss calls lunch time, Im a bit weirded out. Thinking I was going home. I typed out a text to my GF saying how I was going to be late, staying longer, forgot a lunch, and nowhere close to get one.

Accidentally sent that text to the boss. It's not that bad, he said, don't worry we will be gone soonish. But still, my heart sunk when he said I sent it to him.... ooops.


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## hdavis (Feb 14, 2012)

I worked with an old horndog that was always looking for women to watch. One day he wasn't wearing his glasses and he says to me "Ain't much to look at, but look at the t*ts on her", pointing to a roof top deck we overlooked.

I never told him it was a fat old man


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## PCI (Jun 8, 2012)

I was replacing an old rotted wood window on a bathroom. I was scheduled to put it in first job of the day. Met the man the the front door and then climbed up on the roof to remove it. Everything went well except I found some rotted siding and replaced it and needed to get some paint color matched. So I come back the next morning and climb up on the roof go paint, as I am in front of the new window the wife comes into the bathroom and drops her robe and then sees me and screams. Nobody told her I was comming back. Husband flies outside, yells at me to leave. He helps me get everything to the truck and writes me out a check and thanks me for my work but shoos me into my truck. Laughed all the way home.


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## Brutus (May 29, 2007)

PCI said:


> I was replacing an old rotted wood window on a bathroom. I was scheduled to put it in first job of the day. Met the man the the front door and then climbed up on the roof to remove it. Everything went well except I found some rotted siding and replaced it and needed to get some paint color matched. So I come back the next morning and climb up on the roof go paint, as I am in front of the new window the wife comes into the bathroom and drops her robe and then sees me and screams. Nobody told her I was comming back. Husband flies outside, yells at me to leave. He helps me get everything to the truck and writes me out a check and thanks me for my work but shoos me into my truck. Laughed all the way home.


On a scale of 1-10.... 10 being amazing...

What was she?

Ya know, for science. :whistling


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## Jaws (Dec 20, 2010)

When I was just out of high school I worked for a prominent builder as a roustabout, laborer, apprentice carpenter, ect... 

He always had me mowing his lawn and raking leaves at his house. I didnt think much of it, it was easy, easy work compared to what I did on site. 

Anyway, his wife was about 30 (15 years his junior) and atleast a 9 , a 10 in my memory. She was always dressed to the nines or was laying out tanning.:clap:

Anyway, one morning I was raking leaves on a friday morning, and she came into their laundry room topless  right into my view. :blink: She saw me and laughed as she left the laundry room with her shirt.  

I totally expected my boss to roll out to the site and kill me with one of his many guns he kept in his Cadillac. Or atleast fire me. He was a dick like that. It wasnt my fault, the lady should wear clothes or draw the blinds. Never came up.

Pretty crazy she just laughed, instead of scream like a chick. I probably looked pretty funny, an 18 year old with bug eyes and a dropped jaw. :laughing:


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## Kent Whitten (Mar 24, 2006)

Was her name bunny? :laughing:


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## PCI (Jun 8, 2012)

Brutus, my story is I don't know because I did divert my eyes as quick as I could mind you.


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## PCI (Jun 8, 2012)

Hey jaws, sounds like "dear penthouse".


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## Huckleberry (May 7, 2012)

BobsLandscaping said:


> Damn Chevy POS.


Right. It was the truck's fault.


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## smalpierre (Jan 19, 2011)

katoman said:


> Not embarrasing but - did a trim job for a husband and wife, both were psychiatrists. Out back, right on Lake Ontario they had another building which had three walls all glass and the floor was poured acrilyc. There was a drain right in the middle of the floor.
> 
> So I asked why the acrilyc floor and the drain? They matter of factly told me that was for hosing down the floor after the orgies they held.
> 
> I never did get invited to any orgies. But it was a nice trim job to do.


Upon hearing that, you should have made a concerted effort to obtain said invitation :laughing:


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## smalpierre (Jan 19, 2011)

Huckleberry said:


> Right. It was the truck's fault.


Yeah, exactly. Couldn't be the guy driving a jalopy around somebody's yard with a drum of round-up not strapped down ...


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## skyhook (Mar 17, 2007)

After finishing a job, I went back for a few punch list items. 
The HO met me at the door barefoot, wearing skin tight electric blue volleyball shorts and a wife beater T shirt, no bra, erect nips (blonde, blue eyed knock out). 
When I was done and ready to leave, she asked me if she could take a picture of my .
She said it was for a friend of hers. I got embarassed, refused and GTFO as quick as possible. (I knew she was married).


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## dom-mas (Nov 26, 2011)

skyhook said:


> After finishing a job, I went back for a few punch list items.
> The HO met me at the door barefoot, wearing skin tight electric blue volleyball shorts and a wife beater T shirt, no bra, erect nips (blonde, blue eyed knock out).
> When I was done and ready to leave, she asked me if she could take a picture of my .
> She said it was for a friend of hers. I got embarassed, refused and GTFO as quick as possible. (I knew she was married).


WHAT???? really? did she have some insider knowledge (pun intended, don't know if it worked or not)


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## Bunited2 (May 30, 2011)

hdavis said:


> I worked with an old horndog that was always looking for women to watch. One day he wasn't wearing his glasses and he says to me "Ain't much to look at, but look at the t*ts on her", pointing to a roof top deck we overlooked.
> 
> I never told him it was a fat old man


niiiiiice


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## realelectrician (Jul 13, 2011)

The worst is going on an estimate where the owner happens to be a hot chick then noticing after you leave you have a big old dingleberry hanging out of your nose.

Being 6'4 doesn't help either:whistling


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## ohiohomedoctor (Dec 26, 2010)

That has happened too me..


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## realelectrician (Jul 13, 2011)

ohiohomedoctor said:


> That has happened too me..


:laughing:

And my 2nd worst is leaving a silent but deadly when you think the ho is not home... then boom a second later they are standing right in the cloud:laughing:


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## ohiohomedoctor (Dec 26, 2010)

I have also done that minus the silencer. Dropped one in a basement after a buffet lunch thinking I was all alone, guess what, not so much. Mrs. Client was about 10 feet from the hole. Man that was terrible


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## realelectrician (Jul 13, 2011)

ohiohomedoctor said:


> I have also done that minus the silencer. Dropped one in a basement after a buffet lunch thinking I was all alone, get what, not so much. Mrs. Client was about 10 feet from the hole. Man that was terrible


minus the silencer:laughing::laughing:


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## skyhook (Mar 17, 2007)

dom-mas said:


> WHAT???? really? did she have some insider knowledge (pun intended, don't know if it worked or not)


 She _could_ see the length of my fingers and the size of my feet. :laughing:


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## A-1 Interiors (Oct 12, 2011)

I had to take a cab home one day 
well the driver makes a pit stop at a conveniece store and as we pull up a women walks out the front door and I mean she is stout( shaped like a large wine barrel ) and she has a "serious" beard growing :laughing: so as she walks in front of the cab I comment "man someone forgot to shave today" :laughing: no response from the driver:whistling, well she proceeds to walk to the driver window and leans in and gives him a kiss and says im making chicken , corn and mashed potatoes for supper  ,needless to say the ride home was akward , not a word was spoken, I paid him gave him a 5 dollar tip and got the heck outta there


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## BigDawg33 (Oct 2, 2012)

On a sales call for insulation in a cramped space i got the pleat of my pants caught on a nail sticking out of a piece of furniture and ripped the entire front of my pants wide open. It was just me and the old lady who owned the house who happen to be laughing when it happened. I did sell the job but when walkin out to my car I noticed she happened to live right accross the street from an elementary school that just let out. Did the best i could to cover up and run to the car.


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## Bunited2 (May 30, 2011)

BigDawg33 said:


> On a sales call for insulation in a cramped space i got the pleat of my pants caught on a nail sticking out of a piece of furniture and ripped the entire front of my pants wide open. It was just me and the old lady who owned the house who happen to be laughing when it happened. I did sell the job but when walkin out to my car I noticed she happened to live right accross the street from an elementary school that just let out. Did the best i could to cover up and run to the car.


Why you should ALWAYS have an emergency raincoat in
your briefcase.
______________________________________________
In a high rise doing a camera system.
After taking a leak wash my hands in the wide, yet 
shallow clam shell sink.
Water is either off or ALL the way on, sprays me right 
in the crotch.
People outside in the hallway.....lol'ing their heads off
at me.
Of course next day forgot about the damn sink....did 
it again.

Pavlov's dog....NOT


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## Kowboy (May 7, 2009)

It was one of those days in my countertop shop where everyone was screwing up everything. I let loose a profanity-laden rant as I went from the shop to my office. There, in my showroom, listening to every word, was the Disciplinarian for the Toledo Public Schools. 

With my hand over my face, I made myself go out and apologize, which she accepted. I even got her job.

When I told my wife, we decided that we both needed to quit swearing. $5.00 a word donation to charity. I spent $50.00 the first day by noon. We sent $175.00 to the ASPCA the first month and dang near the same the second. This was about 10 years ago and sad to say it's time to do it again.:sad:

Joe


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## jgar (Dec 20, 2010)

We were doing a large addition and remodel. The exterior work was done during the winter, really cold. Had to have a meeting with the ho and architect. Started the meeting (my face was numb) turned and sneezed a few times..... 1/2 hr later the meeting was over and I went to use the boys room. Looked in the mirror and I had a long nasty hanger snot coming out of my nose and hung up in my mustache.....


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## SSC (Feb 8, 2011)

Warren said:


> Think it was only a small box of finish nails which probably seemed odd that I would get a cart just for that.


:laughing::laughing:


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## Roofcheck (Dec 27, 2011)

fourcornerhome said:


> not like that, but I did discover after a sales call that my fly was down.


It's only embarrassing if you DIDN'T sell it!


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## donerightwyo (Oct 10, 2011)

I did flooring install in college. One day I got sent out to tile the floor in a small bathroom. To my surprise a smokin hot mid thirties beauty with nice knockers answers the door. :thumbup: She was in sweats, but still looked damn good.

I get started on the floor and she must have been concerned about my ability because she was hovering at the door of the bathroom. after I start setting tile, she's down on her hands and knees lookin down the grout lines to make sure there lined up. 

The neck on her sweatshirt was huge, her bare swinging knockers were bigger.:clap: All day she was in that doorway with her ta ta's there for me to gander at. I'm trying not to get caught but I was 19. She caught me and it didn't go like a penthouse forum. She was terribly embarrassed, and a little pissed. My sh!t eaten grin didn't help. :no:

I did get to finish the job without supervision:thumbsup:


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## Jaws (Dec 20, 2010)

donerightwyo said:


> I did flooring install in college. One day I got sent out to tile the floor in a small bathroom. To my surprise a smokin hot mid thirties beauty with nice knockers answers the door. :thumbup: She was in sweats, but still looked damn good.
> 
> I get started on the floor and she must have been concerned about my ability because she was hovering at the door of the bathroom. after I start setting tile, she's down on her hands and knees lookin down the grout lines to make sure there lined up.
> 
> ...



It never goes the way it should


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## Bakoboy (Jan 1, 2013)

*better to be pissed off then pissed on.*

I was looking at a patio job with a customer in there back yard and there dog came up and peed on me. I didn't notice what had happed till after i was leaving. I know the homeowners saw the dog do it because in the middle of are talk the owner told the daughter to put the dog away. They didn't say a work.


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## Zewlander (Dec 18, 2012)

Bakoboy said:


> I was looking at a patio job with a customer in there back yard and there dog came up and peed on me.


Obviously:

The dog was either a very good judge of Character.

or

In his opinion, he was signaling the owner to get another Bid.

or

In dog language, he was wishing you luck.

or

His eyesight was very poor and he thought he got a fire 
hydrant for Christmas.

or

............


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## Zewlander (Dec 18, 2012)

donerightwyo said:


> She was terribly embarrassed, and a little pissed.


What broad doesn't know with a nice rack that the 'Twins'
should be worshiped, cherished, made molds from, get 
bronzed and hung over the mantle and bowed down to?

My guess, if she was at all pissed?

Was she thought 'this little perverts drool on the floor mixing
with the grout's, going to be there forever'.


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## donerightwyo (Oct 10, 2011)

I'd say which one needs moved? This one? No? This one? At that point she would lean a little farther to show me:clap:

She shouldn't of been doubting my work, serves her right.:laughing:


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## Zewlander (Dec 18, 2012)

donerightwyo said:


> I'd say which one needs moved? This one? No? This one? At that point she would lean a little farther to show me:clap:
> 
> She shouldn't of been doubting my work, serves her right.:laughing:


You were a smart little perv at 19.

Makes me proud, brings a tear to my eye.


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## donerightwyo (Oct 10, 2011)

Zewlander said:


> You were a smart little perv at 19.
> 
> Makes me proud, brings a tear to my eye.


You being from San Francisco that sorta thing probably wouldn't have interested you


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## Zewlander (Dec 18, 2012)

donerightwyo said:


> You being from San Francisco that sorta thing probably wouldn't have interested you


Do I need to post another pic of my GF?

We're not all fruits and nuts out here. As a matter of fact
the more flamers around here?...the larger the female herd.


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## Calidecks (Nov 19, 2011)

Zewlander said:


> Do I need to post another pic of my GF?
> 
> We're not all fruits and nuts out here. As a matter of fact
> the more flamers around here?...the larger the female herd.


Please post the pic we need to know for sure Zew


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## Zewlander (Dec 18, 2012)

donerightwyo said:


> You being from San Francisco that sorta thing probably wouldn't have interested you


Anyway, Pee Wee Herman, I am not in San Fransicko...a tad up
the peninsula.


Crap....down the peninsula....Duh!


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## Calidecks (Nov 19, 2011)

Zewlander said:


> Anyway, Pee Wee Herman, I am not in San Fransicko...a tad up
> the peninsula.


Are you anywhere near Rohnert Park?


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## Zewlander (Dec 18, 2012)

Californiadecks said:


> Please post the pic we need to know for sure Zew


You were there during Mikes seminar, weren't you?


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## BamBamm5144 (Jul 12, 2008)

A few months ago I was working for a divorced lady. She was attractive and very nice, great to work for. One day we were talking and she mentioned something about her boob job. I didn't even think anything about it until later.

I wonder what it meant or if I was just being a pervert and what she actually said was GOOD job.


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## donerightwyo (Oct 10, 2011)

Zewlander said:


> Do I need to post another pic of my GF?
> 
> We're not all fruits and nuts out here. As a matter of fact
> the more flamers around here?...the larger the female herd.


I suppose, I don't remember seeing any of the others.:no:

I never thought about it being less competition:thumbsup:


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## Zewlander (Dec 18, 2012)

Californiadecks said:


> Are you anywhere near Rohnert Park?


West San Jose


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## Zewlander (Dec 18, 2012)

BamBamm5144 said:


> A few months ago I was working for a divorced lady. She was attractive and very nice, great to work for. One day we were talking and she mentioned something about her boob job. I didn't even think anything about it until later.
> 
> I wonder what it meant or if I was just being a pervert and what she actually said was GOOD job.


Damm, had to read that 3 times.

You need to go back and ask her.

That's some funny S**t.

That deserved 2 'thanks'.


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