# Stupid things I've heard said



## slowsol (Aug 27, 2005)

My wife once ran Christmas lights around the ceiling of a room and plugged it into itself. Then she "needs a cord that has prongs on both ends". Why? "So I an plug it into the back of the Christmas light cord and then into the wall".


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## m1911 (Feb 24, 2009)

slowsol said:


> My wife once ran Christmas lights around the ceiling of a room and plugged it into itself. Then she "needs a cord that has prongs on both ends". Why? "So I an plug it into the back of the Christmas light cord and then into the wall".


And preferably on opposite phases.


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## 66 Shelby (Jan 11, 2009)

"If you give me a discount on this job, I'll give you a _LOT_ more work later."



480sparky said:


> I want to use my 20-year-old Honda 750-watt generator as a back-up for my entire house.


"Why not? The outlets are only 110. That leaves me with an extra 640."


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## blacktop (Oct 28, 2012)

RiverBG said:


> "Why do you need so many tools"


YEP! I got more tools than a Doctor .. And don't make near as much money!!


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## m1911 (Feb 24, 2009)

blacktop said:


> YEP! I got more tools than a Doctor .. And don't make near as much money!!


You need to start offering prostate exam services on the side...


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## avenge (Sep 25, 2008)

"We need to install an outlet for the over cabinets lights" 
"Okay where's the switch go?"
"They can just use a stepladder to plug them in"


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## m1911 (Feb 24, 2009)

avenge said:


> "We need to install an outlet for the over cabinets lights"
> "Okay where's the switch go?"
> "They can just use a stepladder to plug them in"


and if you tie a long string to the plug, you don't need the step ladder to turn them off, it's a safety feature not climbing down ladder in the dark.


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## blacktop (Oct 28, 2012)

m1911 said:


> You need to start offering prostate exam services on the side...


I'll stick to Drywall!!


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## TxElectrician (May 21, 2008)

Can I borrow your tools?


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## 480sparky (Feb 1, 2009)

Can I watch how you do this so I can do it myself next time?


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## hdavis (Feb 14, 2012)

(after being told not to put cigarettes out on the customer's floor)

"It's OK, I know how long to wait to make sure there isn't a fire."

As if that was the point:blink:


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## illbuildit.dd (Jan 7, 2015)

jaydee said:


> I "was" going to come to work, But the weatherman said it "might" rain.
> 
> (for the record) it didn't rain............


That drives me CRAAAZEEEEE


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## hdavis (Feb 14, 2012)

No, those are old copper pipes - see how easy they cut?


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## illbuildit.dd (Jan 7, 2015)

hdavis said:


> (after being told not to put cigarettes out on the customer's floor)
> 
> "It's OK, I know how long to wait to make sure there isn't a fire."
> 
> As if that was the point:blink:


I simply would have said "DID I ASK FOR YOUR KNOWLEDGE ABOUT FIRE?"


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## blacktop (Oct 28, 2012)

TxElectrician said:


> Can I borrow your tools?


You can have them!!


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## asevereid (Jan 30, 2012)

Word for word from one of my bosses :
"I know this whole thing looks like a dog's breakfast, but if we don't this now we'll get a ton of work next year ". 
And my personal favorite ;" If you guys ever get stuck on how to do something, just look it up on YouTube ".


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## cedarboarder (Mar 30, 2015)

The other contractor said he could do it for cheaper...

So why are you talking to me?


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## 480sparky (Feb 1, 2009)

Why is your price higher than the last one I got? Yours is supposed to be lower.


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## illbuildit.dd (Jan 7, 2015)

I've posted this before but it never gets old:

Joe, what pitch do you think this roof is? (It was a 4)

Oh, about a 7 or 8

How do you figure? 

I just look at it and judge it 

Who taught you that? 

All the roofers I've worked with!

Joe there is a mathematical equation to figure a roof pitch 

NO THERES NOT! YOU LOOK AT IT AND JUDGE IT!!

eat your sandwich joe


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## TaylorMadeAB (Nov 11, 2014)

I was working in an oil refinery (it was not operational either) and stopped to have a drink from my water bottle. A safety officer runs up to me and says
" you can't have water out here!! It may get contaminated when you open it" 
For the rest of that 6 month job we had to walk back to the lunch trailer when we were thirsty.


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