# Wife quitting job



## BradingCon (Dec 17, 2010)

My wife is really dissatisfied with her job lately and has asked me if its at all possible for her to quit and stay home with our two babies. Now she supported me fully when I started my business with no guarantee of success and I want to support her in doing something else that she feels passionate about. 

My specific question is: does anyone have any stories about going through this and how did your mentality change? Did you feel the pressure and hustle like hell to ensure your family is fully supported? Did it help your business because you lost the "safety net". Just some things I'm thinking about.


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## griz (Nov 26, 2009)

Relax, you just have the jitters that come with change. Never thought of the wife's check as a safety net.

After you quit paying for daycare, her commute, lunch and dry cleaning costs you will likely be surprised to the good.

Besides remember the old adage:

A happy wife is a happy life.....:thumbsup:


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## EthanB (Sep 28, 2011)

My wife recently asked this when she had our second child. In our case, it just isn't financially feasible but I wouldn't be a big fan of it even if it was. For some families it seems to work well but I think it's hugely dependent on both partners attitude and abilities.

My wife is friends with several stay at home moms(SHM's) and a few of them are going crazy at a pretty fast clip. For most of them I'd say that it is a problem where they feel like they aren't contributing enough to the family, they had all learned to value themselves, in part, based on their work achievements and income and that is gone now. They always go on about the value of being a SHM but I don't think THEY really believe it(I sure do).

The other problem a few of them face is that their husbands come home and expect to unwind on the weekdays and have some alone time to unwind on the weekends when they really need to split that time and let their wives unwind. A SHM usually ends up being on duty almost 7 days a week and that's too much for anyone. I have the kids solo for three nights a week and on the weekend while my wife is at work and that's about as much as I can handle.

I'm not trying to talk you out of it but just point out that YOU will really need to step up as part of the family when you aren't at work. It's not all about bringing home the bacon.

Good luck!


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## Jaws (Dec 20, 2010)

I tried to get my wife to stay home when my daughter was born. My mom stayed home until I was 16 and got a DL. Nice having that. I agree with Griz, take out all the expenses of her having a job and its not as big a hit. 

She worked hard for her career though and enjoys it. They have a pension and benefits so it makes the check look better. 

Ethans right in my experience with the one friend I have whos wife stays home. He wants to go hunting or something and his wife trips. 

My dad worked most of the time so it wasnt an issue, lol. 

Just depends on yalls personality.


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## jlsconstruction (Apr 26, 2011)

I've been begging mine to quite. I pay all the bills, she buys clothes. I even told her I'd give her an allowance, but she won't quite


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## Mark122 (Sep 27, 2014)

We have 3 little ones, the oldest is 6. My wife stopped working for someone else right before our oldest was born.

It was a mutual decision that made sense for us. It took some financial adjusting but I would not have it any other way! 

Sure youll feel the added pressure to meet your financial responsibilities, will it help your business? cant say if that decision helps or not...


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## WarnerConstInc. (Jan 30, 2008)

I can't wait until mine gets a job. 5 weeks and she graduates nursing school. Been a long 3 years.


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## Okiecontractor (Oct 15, 2012)

griz said:


> A happy wife is a happy life.....:thumbsup:


No if I can only figure out how to make my wife happy!!!!! Hahaha


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## Inner10 (Mar 12, 2009)

Okiecontractor said:


> No if I can only figure out how to make my wife happy!!!!! Hahaha


A divorce. :laughing:


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## BradingCon (Dec 17, 2010)

She has a great job money wise but she hates it. If momma hates what she does for 10 hours a day I am not ok with that. I'll make it work whatever she wants. 

JLS- if I told my wife I would give her an allowance she would say she has an allowance called whatever is her debit card daily limit haha.


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## FRAME2FINISH (Aug 31, 2010)

I told my wife 26 years ago her job was too raise my kids!! She then got a p/t job as a cashier. 4 hours a day gets her out of the house and she is there when the kids need her.

Now we have the grand kids so she still does the p/t thing kind of hoping she would get a real job and make my money but she's use too having her time off and us maintaining our poor lifestyle lol


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## EthanB (Sep 28, 2011)

WarnerConstInc. said:


> I can't wait until mine gets a job. 5 weeks and she graduates nursing school. Been a long 3 years.


Congrats to both of you! Nursing school is no joke. My mother went back to school for a nursing degree when I was 15 and I swear I worked harder helping her study than I did on my own classes. I could never remember the amount of stuff they have to.


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## rrk (Apr 22, 2012)

My wife only got her part time job a couple of years ago. Stayed home for 20 something years with the kids. I wished she did it sooner though.


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## Jaws (Dec 20, 2010)

BradingCon said:


> She has a great job money wise but she hates it. If momma hates what she does for 10 hours a day I am not ok with that. I'll make it work whatever she wants.
> 
> JLS- if I told my wife I would give her an allowance she would say she has an allowance called whatever is her debit card daily limit haha.


My wife put me on an allowance 10 years ago. Works great. Lol


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## griz (Nov 26, 2009)

Jaws said:


> My wife put me on an allowance 10 years ago. Works great. Lol


Yup me too, I get 20 bucks the first of every month...:laughing:


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## The Coastal Craftsman (Jun 29, 2009)

Depends what your wife earns. If she's on $18k a year it's prob easy to do. If she's on $70k a year then your gonna have to bust ass to make that difference up.


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## Randy Bush (Mar 7, 2011)

I have never asked my wife to work, when things are a little tight she says maybe she should get one. I tell her no things will work out just fine, I would rather her just stay home and take care of our daughter and the home which she is ok with.


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## Irishslave (Jun 20, 2010)

It's a dilemma that will not improve no matter what choice you make....simply because it involves a woman......and we all know they never know what they want....go to sleep...wake to tomorrow......and everything is already different


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## jb4211 (Jul 13, 2010)

okiecontractor said:


> no if i can only figure out how to make my wife happy!!!!! Hahaha


please let me know when you figure that out!!!!


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## donerightwyo (Oct 10, 2011)

My lady has to work to keep me in the lifestyle I have become accustomed to. :whistling

Warner, after mine got through school and got a job it was like hitting the lottery. Then we had kids.:sad:


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## Andrew6127 (Aug 14, 2012)

You know, i spent about 10 minutes writing up a post with my opinions on stay at home mom's amd blah blah blah. I deleted it, I guess somethingust have clicked. 

The topic and following posts made me really think. 

My girlfriend/fiance/wife/ or whatever our family and friends refer to her as, has been at home for 3.5 years. Our oldest turned 3 in September. She went on maternity leave early, high blood pressure and other issues when she started the thrid trimester. 

When we found out she was pregnant we went with the plan of her staying at home.

We currently rent and are saving for a house. So I am always at work, 6-7 days a week, 8-16 hours a day. A few times this year I have worked 24-36 hours straight. 

Trying to make sure we put what we want away per month for a house, christmas, birthdays, the kids college fund(started it the day we got the ultrasound for our first. 

I have worked myself to the bone this year(2800+ hours with a month and a half to go), and left her on her own with the kids. The last three weeks I have capped myself at 40 hours. I have missed too much because of work and I am tired of it. So no more extra for me.

It has taken a toll on her mentally. 

I guess my point is, 1. I am thankful you guys made me think 2. To the OP, don't do this. 

That being said, I am going to play with my kids.


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## Katatonic (Jun 16, 2013)

If you go for it (it's a great gift to the kids), commit to at least a year. It took us four years to really get good at it and this year, we're throwing homeschooling on top of that. By committing to a year, you won't be inclined to give up after the honeymoon is over and things get tough.

Don't buy into the expectation that the house will be in order, the kids quiet and well behaved and a hot meal on the table when you walk in the door from work. She will probably buy into it and it'll stress her out until she figures out she's the one putting that pressure on herself. She will also have a hard time (very hard time) getting used to relying on you for money. It's hard for a woman to get over that perceived loss of independence. Once she starts figuring it out, it's awesome. For us, the whole family became happier. 

The other key I would say works for our family, make sure she has some guaranteed time to herself on a predictable schedule. Whether it's a class, a weekly night out with other moms or whatever (mine plays hockey every Friday night, it keeps her sane).

Bear in mind, all this advice is from our experience and everyone is different.

I never realized how hard a job it is till she was out of commission for 6 weeks due to back surgery. She'll need lots of support, but I would never go back, it's been great for our family. Plus, now all I have to do is the dishes or put away some laundry and I'm almost guaranteed some extra curricular bedroom activity.


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## BradingCon (Dec 17, 2010)

Dang griz you get 20 bucks?!! You must have to buy fuel out of that too. You're lucky!


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## WarnerConstInc. (Jan 30, 2008)

EthanB said:


> Congrats to both of you! Nursing school is no joke. My mother went back to school for a nursing degree when I was 15 and I swear I worked harder helping her study than I did on my own classes. I could never remember the amount of stuff they have to.


It's been rough, but I am able to work a flexible schedule, be home when my oldest gets off the bus, cart the other two around and all that good stuff. I am looking forward to having her have a set work schedule.


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## Walraven (Jan 24, 2014)

My wife hasen't worked since our oldest was born almost 5 years now, i wouldn't have it any other way, neither would she.
It's not always easy but i think it's worth it


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## go dart (Dec 6, 2005)

EthanB said:


> My wife recently asked this when she had our second child. In our case, it just isn't financially feasible but I wouldn't be a big fan of it even if it was. For some families it seems to work well but I think it's hugely dependent on both partners attitude and abilities.
> 
> My wife is friends with several stay at home moms(SHM's) and a few of them are going crazy at a pretty fast clip. For most of them I'd say that it is a problem where they feel like they aren't contributing enough to the family, they had all learned to value themselves, in part, based on their work achievements and income and that is gone now. They always go on about the value of being a SHM but I don't think THEY really believe it(I sure do).
> 
> ...


Could not agree less. It is financially feasible. On our second child my wife simply stated she would be a mommy from here on out untl the kids didn't need her as much. She told me how she would be able to shop sales, cook dinner everynight, and even mow the lawn. (that was the clincher). It meant change and I had to commit to my career but she had confidence in me and it served to motivate me. I still remember buying health insurance. I thought it would break us but it didn't. Neither my wife or I ever complained about how much time we "had" to spend with the kids. Not sure where this comes from. Point is, toss out the excuses. Anyone can do it.


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## griz (Nov 26, 2009)

BradingCon said:


> Dang griz you get 20 bucks?!! You must have to buy fuel out of that too. You're lucky!


Yup a 20 dollar bill.

Fuel does go on the card....

And she does keep the bar stocked.


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## The Coastal Craftsman (Jun 29, 2009)

Guys just so your aware a woman can grocery shop, cook dinner, do washing, bath the kids, put them to bed, clean house, do the yard work and hold down a 9-5 job. 

Most stay at home mums I know ain't got **** to do all day after they get their stuff done. they sit online taking **** to their friends who are also stay at home mums.


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## WarnerConstInc. (Jan 30, 2008)

BCConstruction said:


> Guys just so your aware a woman can grocery shop, cook dinner, do washing, bath the kids, put them to bed, clean house, do the yard work and hold down a 9-5 job.
> 
> Most stay at home mums I know ain't got **** to do all day after they get their stuff done. they sit online taking **** to their friends who are also stay at home mums.


You got to carry a big stick to keep them on task though


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## Okiecontractor (Oct 15, 2012)

BCConstruction said:


> Guys just so your aware a woman can grocery shop, cook dinner, do washing, bath the kids, put them to bed, clean house, do the yard work and hold down a 9-5 job.
> 
> Most stay at home mums I know ain't got **** to do all day after they get their stuff done. they sit online taking **** to their friends who are also stay at home mums.


Just like we work all day then get on here talking to each other!


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## The Coastal Craftsman (Jun 29, 2009)

WarnerConstInc. said:


> You got to carry a big stick to keep them on task though


trust me I got a big stick lol


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## Jaws (Dec 20, 2010)

go dart said:


> Neither my wife or I ever complained about how much time we "had" to spend with the kids. Not sure where this comes from. Point is, toss out the excuses. Anyone can do it.


In my opinion, like I said, it depends on the personality of both parents. Works well for my brother and his wife, my buddy, nope. His wife is kinda of a PITA though.

My buddy isnt avoiding his kids, at all. Kind of hard to take 4 and 2 year olds on a hunting trip or golfing. In his case he makes a great deal of money, and doesnt work that much, lol. He spends a lot of time with his kids, I dont know why she trips. Other than she probably shouldn't be a stay at home.


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## Jaws (Dec 20, 2010)

BCConstruction said:


> Guys just so your aware a woman can grocery shop, cook dinner, do washing, bath the kids, put them to bed, clean house, do the yard work and hold down a 9-5 job.
> 
> Most stay at home mums I know ain't got **** to do all day after they get their stuff done. they sit online taking **** to their friends who are also stay at home mums.


Guys who expect their wifes who have a full time job to do all that are generally douche bags. Only exception I have seen is if they have a lot of chores like running the hobby farm outside or something, or the other party works a lot more or something.


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## jb4211 (Jul 13, 2010)

Jaws said:


> In my opinion, like I said, it depends on the personality of both parents. Works well for my brother and his wife, my buddy, nope. His wife is kinda of a PITA though.
> 
> My buddy isnt avoiding his kids, at all. Kind of hard to take 4 and 2 year olds on a hunting trip or golfing. In his case he makes a great deal of money, and doesnt work that much, lol. He spends a lot of time with his kids, I dont know why she trips. Other than she probably shouldn't be a stay at home.


John she "trips" and is "kind of a PITA" because she has a vagina. It comes with the territory. You just have to find one who you can handle and roll with the punches, bob & weave, etc. You know the drill.


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## donerightwyo (Oct 10, 2011)

BCConstruction said:


> Guys just so your aware a woman can grocery shop, cook dinner, do washing, bath the kids, put them to bed, clean house, do the yard work and hold down a 9-5 job.
> 
> Most stay at home mums I know ain't got **** to do all day after they get their stuff done. they sit online taking **** to their friends who are also stay at home mums.


It's a fact. I had to buy mine a 6,000 dollar john Deere riding mower but she keeps our 3 acres of grass pretty spiffy.:laughing:


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## Jaws (Dec 20, 2010)

WarnerConstInc. said:


> You got to carry a big stick to keep them on task though


:laughing:


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## Jaws (Dec 20, 2010)

jb4211 said:


> John she "trips" and is "kind of a PITA" because she has a vagina. It comes with the territory. You just have to find one who you can handle and roll with the punches, bob & weave, etc. You know the drill.


I got a keeper. She doesnt trip. :thumbsup:


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## jb4211 (Jul 13, 2010)

Jaws said:


> I got a keeper. She doesnt trip. :thumbsup:


I heard there was one of them out there. I thought it was just a roomer. lol

Wait, how old is she...? Wait till she hits that change of life. Your world is going to change sir. lol


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## The Coastal Craftsman (Jun 29, 2009)

Jaws said:


> Guys who expect their wifes who have a full time job to do all that are generally douche bags. Only exception I have seen is if they have a lot of chores like running the hobby farm outside or something, or the other party works a lot more or something.


I don't expect her to do it. I work 7 days a week, I work on our house, I get our kid up in the morning and ready for baby sitter. I bath him, I sort the bills etc etc 

We both have stuff we have to do and we both swap about what we do to change it up. There's zero reason for a woman to have to stay home.


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## jlsconstruction (Apr 26, 2011)

BCConstruction said:


> I don't expect her to do it. I work 7 days a week, I work on our house, I get our kid up in the morning and ready for baby sitter. I bath him, I sort the bills etc etc We both have stuff we have to do and we both swap about what we do to change it up. There's zero reason for a woman to have to stay home.


You only have 1 kid


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## Jaws (Dec 20, 2010)

BCConstruction said:


> There's zero reason for a woman to have to stay home.


You are right, as always bud. No reason at all. Your way is the only way. Your the only successful and intelligent person on the planet earth. I feel blessed to have you impart your wisdom on us everyday. 

Its incredible to me, more so everyday lately, how many people on here think their view is the only one that is right. Meanwhile, many people are living successful and full lives doing the exact opposite of what they are. 

Keep those blinders on, hoss. It suits you. :no:


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## Jaws (Dec 20, 2010)

jb4211 said:


> I heard there was one of them out there. I thought it was just a roomer. lol
> 
> Wait, how old is she...? Wait till she hits that change of life. Your world is going to change sir. lol


31.

you are right. I saw her mom go through it :laughing:


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## blacktop (Oct 28, 2012)

My Wife works for the health care on her and the kids. That's about it.


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## The Coastal Craftsman (Jun 29, 2009)

Jaws said:


> You are right, as always bud. No reason at all. Your way is the only way. Your the only successful and intelligent person on the planet earth. I feel blessed to have you impart your wisdom on us everyday. Its incredible to me, more so everyday lately, how many people on here think their view is the only one that is right. Meanwhile, many people are living successful and full lives doing the exact opposite of what they are. Keep those blinders on, hoss. It suits you. :no:


Where did I say my way is the only way? My wife earns more than I do a year by quite a bit so it would be stupid for her to stay home. She's not that sort of woman anyways she likes being busy. She is done with the house cleaning and cloths in about 3grs at the weekend. That would mean she has all week to sit on her ass if she didn't work. If your woman's taking 8grs a day to clean the house and wash the dishes and clothes she needs a kick up the ass. Like I said there's no reason for a woman to not have a job just like there's no reason for me not to have a job. 

This is of course not considering home schooling. Which I also wouldn't do as my sister was home schooled and she is weird as are all her home schooled friends. But that's a whole other subject.


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## Xtrememtnbiker (Jun 9, 2013)

Go for it! My wife doesn't work. She stay's at home with our two kids. I pay all the bills and we're on a pretty low income. It's all a matter of what you do or don't spend your money on. Might need to be a little less spendy than normal at first to see how it works out.

And sorry but I got to totally disagree with Barri on that one... I get the 2 year old up in the morning and get him breakfast, baby and wife are still sleeping, I leave for work. My wife spends her entire day being a mother to our kids, loving them, feeding them, cleaning up after them. She also is a wife to me and cleans the house, makes me dinner, does the laundry. 

I come home from work, walk in the door, and then I relieve my wife of the kids because she has been working all day, sacrificing her wants and needs for her children and after doing that all day, she's tired and needs a break. I know people are different and have different goals for their life and that's totally fine.

But to say that a stay at home mom is sitting home all day doing nothing shows a severe lack of love and respect for the women who do that every day without complaining.


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## Walraven (Jan 24, 2014)

Two kids and a house to look after is a fair bit more than three hours work ,I'm glad mine does the stay at home thing cause stuffed if i could!


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## BradingCon (Dec 17, 2010)

BCConstruction said:


> Where did I say my way is the only way? My wife earns more than I do a year by quite a bit so it would be stupid for her to stay home. She's not that sort of woman anyways she likes being busy. She is done with the house cleaning and cloths in about 3grs at the weekend. That would mean she has all week to sit on her ass if she didn't work. If your woman's taking 8grs a day to clean the house and wash the dishes and clothes she needs a kick up the ass. Like I said there's no reason for a woman to not have a job just like there's no reason for me not to have a job. This is of course not considering home schooling. Which I also wouldn't do as my sister was home schooled and she is weird as are all her home schooled friends. But that's a whole other subject.


Am I missing something? I have two girls ages 3 and 1. The wife would have plenty to do if she didn't go to work and general housework wouldn't even be on the list.


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## jlsconstruction (Apr 26, 2011)

Xtrememtnbiker said:


> Go for it! My wife doesn't work. She stay's at home with our two kids. I pay all the bills and we're on a pretty low income. It's all a matter of what you do or don't spend your money on. Might need to be a little less spendy than normal at first to see how it works out. And sorry but I got to totally disagree with Barri on that one... I get the 2 year old up in the morning and get him breakfast, baby and wife are still sleeping, I leave for work. My wife spends her entire day being a mother to our kids, loving them, feeding them, cleaning up after them. She also is a wife to me and cleans the house, makes me dinner, does the laundry. I come home from work, walk in the door, and then I relieve my wife of the kids because she has been working all day, sacrificing her wants and needs for her children and after doing that all day, she's tired and needs a break. I know people are different and have different goals for their life and that's totally fine. But to say that a stay at home mom is sitting home all day doing nothing shows a severe lack of love and respect for the women who do that every day without complaining.


I agree, staying home with the kids is more work than a job


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## Xtrememtnbiker (Jun 9, 2013)

BCConstruction said:


> Where did I say my way is the only way? My wife earns more than I do a year by quite a bit so it would be stupid for her to stay home. She's not that sort of woman anyways she likes being busy. She is done with the house cleaning and cloths in about 3grs at the weekend. That would mean she has all week to sit on her ass if she didn't work. If your woman's taking 8grs a day to clean the house and wash the dishes and clothes she needs a kick up the ass. Like I said there's no reason for a woman to not have a job just like there's no reason for me not to have a job.
> 
> This is of course not considering home schooling. Which I also wouldn't do as my sister was home schooled and she is weird as are all her home schooled friends. But that's a whole other subject.


I guess you can ignore my post... lol. We will be that weird family who home school's. I was, my wife was, and 90% of my friends were. I was coming from a stand point of stay at home mom with kids, not without kids there.


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## brickhook (May 8, 2012)

My wife and I have been together since we were kids. I laid brick and she cleaned houses to get her degree to be a teacher.

She got sick in 2010, and was sick for two years. With the grace of God she's recovered and she's fine now.

But......Now she's o.k. with not working :laughing: I told her I was fine with that.

My cousin had new born daughter April 1, and my wife keeps her 6 days a week. She's our lil blessing.

I think with my schedule being sooooo busy, and me having to run all the time, and seems like i'm so stressed out all the time, it's nice having Lisa here to keep me grounded.

I think when both of us were tired and stress all the time, seemed like we fussed a lot.

Life is good ....and I wouldn't want it any other way. :thumbsup:


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## Xtrememtnbiker (Jun 9, 2013)

jlsconstruction said:


> I agree, staying home with the kids is more work than a job


Yeah quite. I work all day, come home, and have more energy than my wife does. Although she's got tons of food allergies and that might affect her energy level and general feeling tired a lot but still. Taking care of kids all day is a job.


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## The Coastal Craftsman (Jun 29, 2009)

Xtrememtnbiker said:


> Go for it! My wife doesn't work. She stay's at home with our two kids. I pay all the bills and we're on a pretty low income. It's all a matter of what you do or don't spend your money on. Might need to be a little less spendy than normal at first to see how it works out. And sorry but I got to totally disagree with Barri on that one... I get the 2 year old up in the morning and get him breakfast, baby and wife are still sleeping, I leave for work. My wife spends her entire day being a mother to our kids, loving them, feeding them, cleaning up after them. She also is a wife to me and cleans the house, makes me dinner, does the laundry. I come home from work, walk in the door, and then I relieve my wife of the kids because she has been working all day, sacrificing her wants and needs for her children and after doing that all day, she's tired and needs a break. I know people are different and have different goals for their life and that's totally fine. But to say that a stay at home mom is sitting home all day doing nothing shows a severe lack of love and respect for the women who do that every day without complaining.


So I don't love and respect my wife because she doe's all the above and has a job too?


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## blacktop (Oct 28, 2012)

BradingCon said:


> Am I missing something? I have two girls ages 3 and 1. The wife would have plenty to do if she didn't go to work and general housework wouldn't even be on the list.


My Wife has a job .. Plus the kids .. Bookkeeping ..Cleaning the house ..And ME!! I've seen what she does !! I don't want her job!!:laughing:


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## Xtrememtnbiker (Jun 9, 2013)

BCConstruction said:


> So I don't love and respect my wife because she doe's all the above and has a job too?


No. I said ignore my post. Your wife isn't staying home with the kid. To me a stay at home mom is a mom at home with kids their taking care of. In your case, it sounds like it's mom's at home with kids at school and that's a whole different story.


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## Tinstaafl (Jan 6, 2008)

We were in our 30's when we had our two boys, and talked and thought long and hard about that decision. Financially, it was pretty much a wash. Either one of us could have done the stay-at-home thing vs paying for day care etc.

But we were both used to that whole world of work/purpose/social interplay and in the end realized that ultimately neither would be happy with that role in the long run. We opted for both of us to keep working, and share the "burden" of the kids equally.

Both of us had gripes about the job at the end of the day, or good stories to tell--but the key thing is that we fully shared everything having to do with the kids. That ranged from decisions about who took care of them while we were at work to supporting them in all of their school and extracurricular activities.

By going that route, we both kept our sense of self-worth and semi-independence while growing even closer with the teamwork of raising the kids. No squabbles about breadwinner vs diaper-changer. We both wore all the hats.

When my wife was unhappy with her job, she went out and found a new one.

The boys are in their mid-twenties now and doing well, with great work and social ethics.


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## The Coastal Craftsman (Jun 29, 2009)

Tinstaafl said:


> We were in our 30's when we had our two boys, and talked and thought long and hard about that decision. Financially, it was pretty much a wash. Either one of us could have done the stay-at-home thing vs paying for day care etc. But we were both used to that whole world of work/purpose/social interplay and in the end realized that ultimately neither would be happy with that role in the long run. We opted for both of us to keep working, and share the "burden" of the kids equally. Both of us had gripes about the job at the end of the day, or good stories to tell--but the key thing is that we fully shared everything having to do with the kids. That ranged from decisions about who took care of them while we were at work to supporting them in all of their school and extracurricular activities. By going that route, we both kept our sense of self-worth and semi-independence while growing even closer with the teamwork of raising the kids. No squabbles about breadwinner vs diaper-changer. We both wore all the hats. When my wife was unhappy with her job, she went out and found a new one. The boys are in their mid-twenties now and doing well, with great work and social ethics.


Sounds exactly like me and my wife. To me it's more important that we have enough money to support our Familey and put the kids through collage than the wife or me stay at home to change diapers . A baby sitter can change diapers for a whole week for what I earn in 1/3rd a day. But like I said before if your wife is on a low wage then this changes everything. If my wife was on a low wage I wouldn't want her to work like she does. I would rather work extra hours to make that difference up.


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## Jaws (Dec 20, 2010)

BCConstruction said:


> Where did I say my way is the only way? My wife earns more than I do a year by quite a bit so it would be stupid for her to stay home. She's not that sort of woman anyways she likes being busy. She is done with the house cleaning and cloths in about 3grs at the weekend. That would mean she has all week to sit on her ass if she didn't work. If your woman's taking 8grs a day to clean the house and wash the dishes and clothes she needs a kick up the ass. Like I said there's no reason for a woman to not have a job just like there's no reason for me not to have a job.
> 
> This is of course not considering home schooling. Which I also wouldn't do as my sister was home schooled and she is weird as are all her home schooled friends. But that's a whole other subject.


The blinders remark had nothing to do with your opinion on this subject, its that your state opinions as they are facts of life. 

As to the subject matter, many things can be said. My buddy who makes a chit load of money would probably read your remarks and say your house is too small if she keeps it that clean in three hours.:laughing: 

My brothers wife stays at home to raise their kid until school. His wife spends every waking moment doing activities and what not with her son and my daughter until my daughter goes to school next year. They dont trust anyone to teach their children when they are that impressionable, which is their decision. My brother makes plenty for them to have a comfortable life.


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## Warren (Feb 19, 2005)

BCConstruction said:


> Sounds exactly like me and my wife. To me it's more important that we have enough money to support our Familey and put the kids through collage than the wife or me stay at home to change diapers . A baby sitter can change diapers for a whole week for what I earn in 1/3rd a day. But like I said before if your wife is on a low wage then this changes everything. If my wife was on a low wage I wouldn't want her to work like she does. I would rather work extra hours to make that difference up.


You keep stepping in it deeper and deeper.


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## The Coastal Craftsman (Jun 29, 2009)

blacktop said:


> My Wife has a job .. Plus the kids .. Bookkeeping ..Cleaning the house ..And ME!! I've seen what she does !! I don't want her job!!:laughing:


Trust me I would take the wife chores at home for the day over doing what I do if I had to. 

Putting clothes into washing machine vs sanding drywall

Changing 4 diapers vs pulling up screwed and glued CBU

Cleaning bathroom vs unloading 1000sqft of deck material 

Grocery shopping vs hand digging 10tons of dirt

The woman has it easy


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## The Coastal Craftsman (Jun 29, 2009)

Warren said:


> You keep stepping in it deeper and deeper.


What because I have no problem with my wife working. 

What's funny is she wants to work. She don't wanna sit on her ass all day doing nothing.


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## donerightwyo (Oct 10, 2011)

My good buddy married my wife's cousin. They have four kids. She home schools them, but she doesn't like to get up before ten. She also doesn't really care for the boy because he has a few behavior issues, so he isn't getting the education he needs. There house is a wreck, their kids are under educated and socially awkward. But like Barri says that's a whole different issue. My wife teaches first grade so maybe I'm biased.

My wife is awesome!:thumbsup:She has to be working full time, taking care of me, the boys and the house. She wouldn't have it any other way, it's just who she is.


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## Xtrememtnbiker (Jun 9, 2013)

BCConstruction said:


> The woman has it easy


Bull. That's why I said you don't respect them enough.


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## blacktop (Oct 28, 2012)

BCConstruction said:


> Trust me I would take the wife chores at home for the day over doing what I do if I had to.
> 
> Putting clothes into washing machine vs sanding drywall
> 
> ...


If I could get mine to help me out on sand day ...She'd be the perfect Woman !!!


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## mnld (Jun 4, 2013)

Wow, I had a long post typed up and the deleted it because everyone has different lives, viewpoints, and values. My children are the most important thing in my life, other than my wife, and I thank God every day that my wife is able to stay home with them. Yes, we homeschool, and I don't judge how anyone raises kids, but if you're having kids just to have them raised by someone else then what's the point? That being said, not everyone can afford a single income, but if the reason to go to work is because it's cheaper to have someone else raise your kids, then that's asinine.


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## blacktop (Oct 28, 2012)

This Is like listening to Alfalfa !


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## Andrew6127 (Aug 14, 2012)

Now that my kids are sleeping.

If you think a woman staying at home with the kids is easy, try doing it for a week. Hardest week of "work" I have ever had in my life. 

If the woman is a lazy ass like my SIL, sure it's easy. Their house is trashed 24/7. 

My queen is anal retentive about the house. I tried for one week to keep it up to her standards and do the things she does with the kids, if I didn't know any better I'd think she was on speed.


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## The Coastal Craftsman (Jun 29, 2009)

Xtrememtnbiker said:


> Bull. That's why I said you don't respect them enough.


So your saying my comparisons are bull? So the that stuff done by eithe a stay at home mother or farther is harder?

What's not respectful is keeping your wife at home to do everything. At least I split everything that's done for our kids down the middle. I don't expect them to cook my dinner or clean my clothes but a lot of men have your mindset of ax woman belongs in the house looking after the kids and doing house chores. 

That's you and your wife's choice though just like me and my wife's choice is split the chores and both work.


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## donerightwyo (Oct 10, 2011)

I'm with you Barri. I get the boys up and ready in the morning. I do most all of the farm chores, while she's cooking supper. We do the dishes and pick up supper together. She helps the older one with his homework and I do the younger. I get them a shower and into bed. I don't do laundry, tho.:whistling. But I never say a word if it ain't done. They go to school with her and then go to a grandma-grandpas after school. 

The cool chit my kids get to do because their mom works,(like the cabin in the mountains) far out ways the bennies of her staying home. 

It's definitely one of those different strokes, for different folks issues.


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## Jaws (Dec 20, 2010)

BCConstruction said:


> What because I have no problem with my wife working.
> 
> What's funny is she wants to work. She don't wanna sit on her ass all day doing nothing.


What you dont get is that is YOUR circumstances. 

Fwiw, my situation is much the same as yours. My wife and I both work. I am actually very envious your wife makes more money than you do :laughing:

Its just incredible to me you think your situation is anything but that, YOUR situation.

For example, in this thread you insulted any woman who stays at home, and people like Travis, who I have a lot of respect for as a man and a provider, who choose to home school their children.


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## Xtrememtnbiker (Jun 9, 2013)

BCConstruction said:


> So your saying my comparisons are bull? So the that stuff done by eithe a stay at home mother or farther is harder?
> 
> What's not respectful is keeping your wife at home to do everything. At least I split everything that's done for our kids down the middle. I don't expect them to cook my dinner or clean my clothes but a lot of men have your mindset of ax woman belongs in the house looking after the kids and doing house chores.
> 
> That's you and your wife's choice though just like me and my wife's choice is split the chores and both work.


I'll try and explain since I think we're not on the same page and maybe I don't understand how much you have to do with your kid.

I'll say one more time, when I say stay at home mom, I mean stay at home, with kids. You mentioned daycare and since you and your wife both work full time jobs, your kid is not at home for some amount of time every day. Correct? Just trying to clarify.

I do not keep my wife at home. My wife and I are in complete agreement that she should be at home raising our children, not sending them off each day for someone else to raise them. I know you and I differ here and I have no problem at all with you having your ways and me having mine. I'm not judging, just informing.

We are Christian's, and think that it is biblical for us to raise our kids at home and there are bible verses to support that. So my wife and I both want her to be home raising our kids. My wife wants to stay home, raise kids, do all the chores you've mentioned, and love me in that way. I appreciate her very much. I've never once in 3 years of marriage forced her to do anything. She willing, lovingly cleans the house, makes meals, does laundry, etc. The same way your wife does for you whenever she does above mentioned chores. And you are loving your wife by doing the chores for her when you do. Least that's how I see it.

But our family's are different from each other. I'm not able to split things down the middle. I'm gone for 9.5 - 10 hours a day, and my wife is home that entire time (or shopping). That's our choice, and that's what we want. Same for you guys.

My problem was you saying it's easy to be a stay at home mom. I completely disagree with that. But only in the way that my wife is a stay at home mom with kids at home.

If you're talking stay at home with kids at daycare or school, then maybe it's easier. I wouldn't really know. I still wouldn't say the things you did about women being lazy and having it easy. I don't think it's respectful to say that about women, even if it was true.

Hope that makes sense. Not judging, everybody chooses what's right for them.

Still wanna come over one day and meet you, see your impressive amount of green, and have a cookout on your deck (if you got the bobcat unstuck) :thumbup:


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## ROVACON (Apr 19, 2010)

My wife is a stay at home mom Mon-Fri. She is also a registered nurse and works two 12hr shifts every weekend and on holidays.

I have two school aged kids and one 4 month old who has some minor special needs.

She takes care of them, the house and everything in between during the week and then does the nursing gig on the weekends.

How she manages all of that, i will never know. She does say that the weekend job is her "break." LOL.


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## WarnerConstInc. (Jan 30, 2008)

One kid is no where close to three. Two is not that bad either. Three is a whole different game. House work, feeding kids 3 meals a day, bathing 2 of them, doing 5 people's laundry, their dishes, cleaning up after them, the list goes on, is a LOT of work. 

Makes whatever I do seem easy. 

I usually have 2 all day two days during the week, all 3 all day Saturdays. 

Turning the tv on is not a good way to entertain a child. 

Never met a mom who gets to sit on her ass all day on the couch.


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## CrpntrFrk (Oct 25, 2008)

Mine has been a stay at home mom for 8 years now. Through out the years she has had little jobs because she wants to contribute to the money pile. She always works hard for our family (5 kids). As of now she has 2 part time jobs and at home duties. 

I am so glad she stays at home. Whenever I need her to run an errand she is able to do that for me. We agreed we would rather one of us raise the kids during the beginning years. Any job her degree would have afforded her, would have only paid for child care anyway. 

I am no fool. It is a blessing for her to be at home. I have been very happy to work hard for her to do so. Now our youngest is about ready for school so she will be finding herself a full time job. So I will be stepping up my help at home. Although for months at a time, through out the years, I was working 7 days a week and holding 2 jobs, I didn't have to do much at home. She has taken care of most of it. 

Don't do it for the money, you, or your wife......do it for your kids. They will thank you for it.:thumbsup:


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## mnld (Jun 4, 2013)

CrpntrFrk said:


> Don't do it for the money, you, or your wife......do it for your kids. They will thank you for it.:thumbsup:


Amen!


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## Irishslave (Jun 20, 2010)

CrpntrFrk said:


> Don't do it for the money, you, or your wife......do it for your kids. They will thank you for it.:thumbsup:


I couldn't agree more......we did the dual income thing kids in daycare/school/latchkey......and had plenty of trouble.....Thank God it's over........If we had it to do over my wife would have stayed home....she has deep regrets.....and so do I.......No Nanny will ever replace MOM


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## Ohteah (Apr 3, 2013)

My wife has been a stay at home mom for seven years, she recently went back to work two days a week as my youngest will start school next year. 
She quit her full time job when we had my son. Financially we adjusted and made it work. To the OP, if you can afford to and it's practical go for it. 
Like anything in life you have to find balance. A big thing with my wife was getting stuck in a rut as being mom( caregiver) and sort of being defined by it. I always encouraged her to go out with the girlfriends, have interest outside of being mother hen. 

One nice thing about her going back to work that I enjoy is getting the individual time with my kids. It's nice being parent number 1 and getting the kids undivided attention. We always joke if the kids were holding us over a cliff and had to let one go, I'm a dead man, first they take my wallet though.


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## Ninjaframer (May 28, 2011)

My wife's been stay At home for the last 4 years. She's a teacher and our plan was for her to go back to work when our youngest started school (2 more years away). On a whim she turned in her resume to the school district and a day later they called. A kindergarten teacher had quit- they asked my wife to come in for an interview and a few days later my wife's working. 
I hate it.
I didn't realize how much I enjoyed her being home.
I miss her being home when I stop in for lunch.
I miss her being available to run an errand for me.
I miss the occasional nooner 
Now my kids bounce around from grandmas to aunts to baby sitters. 
I told her to quit but she said she'd never get a job with the district again if she did so I guess I'm gonna have to gut it out till the end of the school year. It will be nice to have insurance again but I havnt enjoyed her return to work at all.


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## tgeb (Feb 9, 2006)

My sister-in-law is well educated has a degree in education and was managing a daycare facility for a number of years. When my brother and her decided it was time to start a family, she quit her job at the daycare.

I took that as a clue, if she was not going to be happy having her own kids in her own daycare facility, why would you want yours in the same facility.

No one can give your kids the same love and attention that you or your wife can. It's just not possible.

When we decided to have a kid, my wife and I had already made the decision that she would not work outside of the home. My daughter is way better off because of that.

Sure it was tough to make up the lost payroll, she worked a very good job, we made about the same money, but she carried the health benefits, I had to get busier and make up the slack.

There have been some pretty lean years, but we get by, it's worth it.

We discussed whether we wanted someone else to see her first steps, hear her first words, etc. all the little milestones that occur while growing up....I taught her to tie her shoes, her Mom taught her to ride a pony.....

There are things that are worth more than time and money......


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## Ohteah (Apr 3, 2013)

Ninjaframer said:


> My wife's been stay At home for the last 4 years. She's a teacher and our plan was for her to go back to work when our youngest started school (2 more years away). On a whim she turned in her resume to the school district and a day later they called. A kindergarten teacher had quit- they asked my wife to come in for an interview and a few days later my wife's working. I hate it. I didn't realize how much I enjoyed her being home. I miss her being home when I stop in for lunch. I miss her being available to run an errand for me. I miss the occasional nooner  Now my kids bounce around from grandmas to aunts to baby sitters. I told her to quit but she said she'd never get a job with the district again if she did so I guess I'm gonna have to gut it out till the end of the school year. It will be nice to have insurance again but I havnt enjoyed her return to work at all.



I'm in the same boat, became so use to my wife just always being there. I wouldn't say she's happier working, because she loves raising our kids, but more whole maybe earning her own money, as well as social interaction not with small children. 

As for the afternoon delight, now it's a Sat morning walk by.


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## EthanB (Sep 28, 2011)

go dart said:


> Could not agree less. It is financially feasible. On our second child my wife simply stated she would be a mommy from here on out untl the kids didn't need her as much. She told me how she would be able to shop sales, cook dinner everynight, and even mow the lawn. (that was the clincher). It meant change and I had to commit to my career but she had confidence in me and it served to motivate me. I still remember buying health insurance. I thought it would break us but it didn't. Neither my wife or I ever complained about how much time we "had" to spend with the kids. Not sure where this comes from. Point is, toss out the excuses. Anyone can do it.


I'm not really trying to get in a pissing match with you but that's an odd statement to make. Where I live, it isn't financially feasible. It's not. I'm not talking about a $200 cable bill and cancelling the golf club membership. I ran the numbers and I cannot, at present, pay our mortgage, insurance(life and health, utility bills, other basic expenses while saving enough money to help the kids with college and setting aside some for rainy day issues and a retirement. It's not even close.

That's probably because where we live is dramatically more expensive than where you live. A very basic house around here goes for north of $250k(if you find a good deal) and the average is over $300k.


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## Irishslave (Jun 20, 2010)

EthanB said:


> I'm not really trying to get in a pissing match with you but that's an odd statement to make. Where I live, it isn't financially feasible. It's not. I'm not talking about a $200 cable bill and cancelling the golf club membership. I ran the numbers and I cannot, at present, pay our mortgage, insurance(life and health, utility bills, other basic expenses while saving enough money to help the kids with college and setting aside some for rainy day issues and a retirement. It's not even close.
> 
> That's probably because where we live is dramatically more expensive than where you live. A very basic house around here goes for north of $250k(if you find a good deal) and the average is over $300k.


Believe me none of that will mean chit when your children reach adolescence and start to feel neglected.....some kids can adjust....many can not......when the chit storm hits.....you think you're spending a lot now?......just wait.......I don't want to alarm....just warn.......be advised.....when you or your wife are not around your children are being raised and influenced by others....not good.....Been there.....and it was not pretty 

Take my advice if your children are young.....do whatever you have to do .......because the years pass quickly and you can't go back


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## kiteman (Apr 18, 2012)

All I'll say is don't trust the phucking babysitter.


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## Irishslave (Jun 20, 2010)

kiteman said:


> All I'll say is don't trust the phucking babysitter.


Or the neighbors.....or the school teachers.....or the counselors.....or DFS....the social workers.....the lawyers.....and sometimes at some point you won't be able to trust your own children.....till later when they are old enough to have their own regrets 

raising children is heady chit now days......you are up against influences that are contrary to your interests.....trust me.....If i had it to do over both of mine would have went to a military academy.....the youngest wasn't nearly as bad as her older sister


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## kiteman (Apr 18, 2012)

Irishslave said:


> Or the neighbors.....or the school teachers.....or the counselors.....or DFS....the social workers.....the lawyers.....and sometimes at some point you won't be able to trust your own children.....till later when they are old enough to have their own regrets raising children is heady chit now days......you are up against influences that are contrary to your interests.....trust me.....If i had it to do over both of mine would have went to a military academy.....the youngest wasn't nearly as bad as her older sister


Oh I'm on a way higher level of mistrust, believe me.


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## jb4211 (Jul 13, 2010)

kiteman said:


> All I'll say is don't trust the phucking babysitter.


Although my daughter is only 3-1/2 yrs old, no one has ever watched her other than my mom.

I don't trust strangers - AT ALL, and I would never, could never trust a stranger to watch my daughter. Too many irreversible things could happen that could literally ruin my daughter's life. No child dreams of being a **** star. But, they all seem to one childhood tragedy in common.


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## Irishslave (Jun 20, 2010)

kiteman said:


> Oh I'm on a way higher level of mistrust, believe me.


That's unfortunate.....I know that's an understatement....please forgive me.............I could write a book on the perils of modern parenthood....and I'm sure my disasters pale in comparison to others.....but that's little consolation when you start out with expectations and it turns out the opposite leaving you feeling helpless.......I stayed married to my childrens mother.....and my children are grown 34 and 28......it had to be the hardest thing I've ever done......It would have been easier to work 3 jobs 24/7 and let her stay home with the children


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## Calidecks (Nov 19, 2011)

Marry a school teacher, they only have to work 181 days a year by contract, and still bring home 6 figures. Let me tell you I really like that my wife gets the summer off, it allows her some relief and keeps her happy which keeps me happy. :thumbsup:


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## Stephen H (Feb 18, 2011)

to the OP.

your wife needs to decide if she wants to be a stay at home mom
OR
does she just hate her current job?

2 very different things there!

what I know ---is that my wife and I have been inseperable since about 1977 when I was 15 and she was 16 (SHE taught ME to drive, LOL)

all of this was discussed well before we got married(21) and long before we had kids(26?)

we knew we wanted to raise kids and where we wanted to send them to school etc.----so that determined where we bought a house(at 21), what cars we bought,even the clothes we bought

when my first son was born, my wife quit her job to stay at home----and not too long after that I quit MY job to start my current business.
( At that point I had a stay at home wife, a baby at home and a baby on the way....)

we had less than no money.
but--- my kids have never been in day care, rarely had a baby sitter for more than a couple hours. they learned to read LOOOOOOONG before they ever started school. My wife had things for them to do every day---trips to the park,trips to museums, trips to the library, trips to the zoo. they were on a first name basis with the security gaurd at the library and would run in the door and climb up into the security gaurds lap.......... my kids were very good at throwing,catching and hitting a baseball---- I thought it was my superior genes---- but it turns out my wife was working out with them several hours total a day once they turned 4 or so..........

we always knew our kids were going to private school.

once they started school----- my wife went back to college to get her teaching degree----so at that point I was paying private school tuition for 2 kids and college tuition for my wife

and I thought we had no money BEFORE that, LOL

when my wife got her teaching degree----she immediately took a job teaching in the same religous school my kids attended----which meant she was basically teaching for free AND I was still paying full price tuition.

for us----raising our own kids was the most important thing in life-----and it was PRICELESS to have my wife home with the kids when they were small.

YOU CAN NOT GET THAT TIME BACK----THERE ARE NO DO-OVERS .

As an aside----- long after the fact---- my wife told me that other than underwear----EVERY article of clothing she had worn for about 10 years---- came from Goodwill. I never knew---and she never complained. doing for our kids was more important.

the kids went to 13 years of private school----and then on to college( one graduated from a private college.

somehow we paid for it all AND had a stay at home mom for them when they needed one MOST.

now my kids are grown and out of the house--- I have a grand daughter. My wife quit her job at the religous school because it no longer reflected her values and she felt she could not remain and be HER.

almost immediately she had a new job paying 170% of the old salary


and we will do the same thing to the best of our ability to help our grandkids as well----because what else is there?????

I mean---what are we going to do----GOLF????????????

Yesterday--- my wife and I watched our granddaughter for a few hours( she is 2 weeks old)---and I held my grand daughter and whispered in her ear how much grandpa loves her and how mom and dad and grandpa would make sure she always had everything she needs in life. both my sons work with me----and when/if the new parents decide the mommy needs to be a stay at home mom-----I will make that possible---because what else is there other than providing for the ones who depend on you ?????

stephen


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## BradingCon (Dec 17, 2010)

Lot to think about here. Here is another piece of information. Next year my 3 year old will be able to go to pre school. In our small town she would have to be at school at 12:30 and be picked up
at 3:30. That can't happen with both of us working. I just want the best for my wife and kids. I know if my wife could stop feeling guilty about our kids spending so much time at daycare that would make her a lot happier.


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## BradingCon (Dec 17, 2010)

Stephen, to answer your question. She has always wanted to be a stay at home mom. Our girls mean absolutely everything to us. At first we just didn't even think it was an option financially. Then her job turned into something she doesn't enjoy and it just got us thinking that no way should our kids be in daycare while you go somewhere you hate for 8 hours. I feel terrible for my wife because she feels like she misses so much of our kids life. And she does miss a lot.


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## TxElectrician (May 21, 2008)

Californiadecks said:


> Marry a school teacher, they only have to work 181 days a year by contract, and still bring home 6 figures. Let me tell you I really like that my wife gets the summer off, it allows her some relief and keeps her happy which keeps me happy. :thumbsup:


Trust me Mike, not all teachers earn or have the bennies they do in Cali.


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## BradingCon (Dec 17, 2010)

TxElectrician said:


> Trust me Mike, not all teachers earn or have the bennies they do in Cali.


No joke. My mom just retired from 38 years as a teacher and she never made anywhere near 6 figures.


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## Okiecontractor (Oct 15, 2012)

Californiadecks said:


> Marry a school teacher, they only have to work 181 days a year by contract, and still bring home 6 figures. Let me tell you I really like that my wife gets the summer off, it allows her some relief and keeps her happy which keeps me happy. :thumbsup:


Teacher bring home 6 figures there? Holy crap. Starting pay for a teacher here is like 32k. Same goes for cops and firefighters.


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## sailfish27 (Jan 25, 2014)

From a financial standpoint, 2 kids were the break even point for my wife and I. The cost of day care for 2 children roughly equaled my wife's take home pay. The only extra expense was paying for health care. So I pressured my wife to quit her job, which she liked. I thought it would make our lives less chaotic, running around picking up the kids from daycare then their grandparents etc.

It didn't work for us, my wife hated being at home. She missed the social aspect of work. Who could blame her? I stayed home once a week to watch them when they were small and I couldn't wait to go back to work. Not everyone's cut out to be around small children all day. 

Your situation is totally different. Your wife wants to stay at home. I'm sure you can make it work. You might even enjoy it. Worst case, if it doesn't work out, she can always fine another job. 

Good luck,


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## BradingCon (Dec 17, 2010)

sailfish27 said:


> From a financial standpoint, 2 kids were the break even point for my wife and I. The cost of day care for 2 children roughly equaled my wife's take home pay. The only extra expense was paying for health care. So I pressured my wife to quit her job, which she liked. I thought it would make our lives less chaotic, running around picking up the kids from daycare then their grandparents etc. It didn't work for us, my wife hated being at home. She missed the social aspect of work. Who could blame her? I stayed home once a week to watch them when they were small and I couldn't wait to go back to work. Not everyone's cut out to be around small children all day. Your situation is totally different. Your wife wants to stay at home. I'm sure you can make it work. You might even enjoy it. Worst case, if it doesn't work out, she can always fine another job. Good luck,


You make some valid points. She is a school pathologist and they are in high demand here so she could go back to work in a different district when the kids grow. Also, our daycare cost is $225 per week for the two kids. That is a lot in my part of the country.


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## BradingCon (Dec 17, 2010)

Autocorrect. My wife is a school psychologist. Not pathologist


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## Spencer (Jul 6, 2005)

BradingCon said:


> Autocorrect. My wife is a school psychologist. Not pathologist


Are you using her income currently to pay bill or are you putting it away?

We always put my wife's income into saving or towards extra payments on the house that way when the time come for her to stay home we aren't used to a higher lifestyle.


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## CrpntrFrk (Oct 25, 2008)

BradingCon said:


> Stephen, to answer your question. She has always wanted to be a stay at home mom. Our girls mean absolutely everything to us. At first we just didn't even think it was an option financially. Then her job turned into something she doesn't enjoy and it just got us thinking that no way should our kids be in daycare while you go somewhere you hate for 8 hours. I feel terrible for my wife because she feels like she misses so much of our kids life. And she does miss a lot.


A good paying job is hard to find sometimes but I think you two have made your decision already. Your just figuring out the details. Money is nice but it can't replace the feelings that are being discussed in this thread. 

Your wife hates her job. There are more jobs out there. As your business grows then more money will follow and needing a bigger second income will become less of a necessity. 

You cannot replace bonds with children or feelings of regret. Don't wait too long to do what you feel is right just to chase a dollar. I'm not saying this is easy by no means but if you guys want it for your family you can make it happen.


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## Spencer (Jul 6, 2005)

CrpntrFrk said:


> A good paying job is hard to find sometimes but I think you two have made your decision already. Your just figuring out the details. Money is nice but it can't replace the feelings that are being discussed in this thread.
> 
> Your wife hates her job. There are more jobs out there. As your business grows then more money will follow and needing a bigger second income will become less of a necessity.
> 
> You cannot replace bonds with children or feelings of regret. Don't wait too long to do what you feel is right just to chase a dollar. I'm not saying this is easy by no means but if you guys want it for your family you can make it happen.


Amen! :thumbup:


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## rrk (Apr 22, 2012)

BCConstruction said:


> Trust me I would take the wife chores at home for the day over doing what I do if I had to.
> 
> Putting clothes into washing machine vs sanding drywall
> 
> ...


And deeper


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## AmeliaP (Apr 22, 2007)

> My wife is really dissatisfied with her job lately and has asked me if its at all possible for her to quit and stay home with our two babies. Now she supported me fully when I started my business with no guarantee of success and I want to support her in doing something else that she feels passionate about.
> 
> My specific question is: does anyone have any stories about going through this and how did your mentality change? Did you feel the pressure and hustle like hell to ensure your family is fully supported? Did it help your business because you lost the "safety net". Just some things I'm thinking about.


I didn't leave work willingly so our situation is different but when we came to a place where his business was the only income I think the pressure actually helped Bill focus on the business side more. Work couldn't just land in his lap anymore. He had to make things happen.

I'm not used to not working though and his medical issues (recovery from a car accident) at the time made it imperative that I get involved in his business WAY more than I had been in the past. If you ask me it worked out pretty well.....he may have another take on that. :laughing: :laughing:

It is easier for him in some ways (compared to when I worked elsewhere) and the kids are happier. He can work and schedule appointments whenever he wants to. They have the option of staying home, doing sports, after school activities, etc. whenever they want/need to. If I'm scheduled to work with him and our youngest is home sick, it's a snow day, delayed opening, school holiday, etc. we just adjust and I stay home. I haven't paid $1 for child care since 2008.

Don't sweat it to much. :thumbsup:


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## Calidecks (Nov 19, 2011)

Okiecontractor said:


> Teacher bring home 6 figures there? Holy crap. Starting pay for a teacher here is like 32k. Same goes for cops and firefighters.


 It's all public record. Wife makes 101,410 and is due for one more raise. Then a cost of living as normal. She will get 80% of that when she retires and if she dies I get 60 prevent of her salary for the rest of my life. It's a corrupt system of politicians and unions here. A damn shame is what it is.


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## Okiecontractor (Oct 15, 2012)

Californiadecks said:


> It's all public record. Wife makes 101,410 and is due for one more raise. Then a cost of living as normal. She will get 80% of that when she retires and if she dies I get 60 prevent of her salary for the rest of my life. It's a corrupt system of politicians and unions here. A damn shame is what it is.


Very true. And yes cost of living is a lot different here.... I mean, its Oklahoma.


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## BAREIN (Dec 26, 2007)

Californiadecks said:


> It's all public record. Wife makes 101,410 and is due for one more raise. Then a cost of living as normal. She will get 80% of that when she retires and if she dies I get 60 prevent of her salary for the rest of my life. It's a corrupt system of politicians and unions here. A damn shame is what it is.


Wisconsin is vary divided over this, before the Walker attack on Unions most did not realize how good teachers and school staff have it. Lot's of hate and resentment towards teachers after seeing how whiny and childish public union workers got over having to contribute more of their salary and having to possibly preform better. I looked up my Old shop teacher that didn't know his head from his ass, I about had a heart attack after seeing his salary and bennies. IMO shop should be taught by retired tradesmen part time, union is to strong though.


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## Calidecks (Nov 19, 2011)

Yep her retirement is 74 to 1 here. Meaning wife contribute 1 the taxpayers contribute 74.


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## go dart (Dec 6, 2005)

EthanB said:


> I'm not really trying to get in a pissing match with you but that's an odd statement to make. Where I live, it isn't financially feasible. It's not. I'm not talking about a $200 cable bill and cancelling the golf club membership. I ran the numbers and I cannot, at present, pay our mortgage, insurance(life and health, utility bills, other basic expenses while saving enough money to help the kids with college and setting aside some for rainy day issues and a retirement. It's not even close.
> 
> That's probably because where we live is dramatically more expensive than where you live. A very basic house around here goes for north of $250k(if you find a good deal) and the average is over $300k.


Its really a question of financial management. Did you start in a 200,000 house? I would guess you start in a fixer upper, fix, sale, and repeat. My area would be considered affluent. The cost of repairs, remodels, and wages are higher so theres a balance. for the record heres my county stats. http://quickfacts.census.gov/qfd/states/20/20091.html


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## Calidecks (Nov 19, 2011)

Because my wife worked we are able to now send them to a university of thier choice and the kids grew up fine with no less then had my wife not worked. If fact thier future is better for it. They've never been deprived of anything nor has there been any signs of them being unhappy. This is my kids though which I'm only speaking for. Like I said she v was home half the year though.


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## BradingCon (Dec 17, 2010)

Spencer said:


> Are you using her income currently to pay bill or are you putting it away? We always put my wife's income into saving or towards extra payments on the house that way when the time come for her to stay home we aren't used to a higher lifestyle.


This is a tough question with out really diving into my finances and investigating. We do it a little different. For the past few years I have paid myself a very low salary and kept large cash reserves in the company account. So now I would obvious have to give myself a much higher salary without my wife's income to supplement.


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## EthanB (Sep 28, 2011)

go dart said:


> Its really a question of financial management. Did you start in a 200,000 house? I would guess you start in a fixer upper, fix, sale, and repeat. My area would be considered affluent. The cost of repairs, remodels, and wages are higher so theres a balance. for the record heres my county stats. http://quickfacts.census.gov/qfd/states/20/20091.html


It's not just a question of financial management. You can't pull money out of thin air. In my area our median house value is 50% higher than yours and the median income is 20% lower. We also have high taxes and pretty expensive utilities. I don't mind but it is what it is. I've lived in a few different states in my life and like where we are now.

That said, I responded to your comment because it felt like you were telling me that, without knowing anything about my financial position, I could afford something when, in fact, I cannot. I'm no dope, I have a pretty solid grasp of finance, so does my wife. We live very modestly and can support our lifestyle and save, a bit, for the future. Our situation involves working different shifts and having our 4 year old and 4 month old in daycare for three days a week. 

I might just be misreading the intent of your post and I apologize if that's the case. It just felt a little personal after I shared what I could to help the OP.


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## Stephen H (Feb 18, 2011)

Californiadecks said:


> Yep her retirement is 74 to 1 here. Meaning wife contribute 1 the taxpayers contribute 74.


 My wife is a teacher----and it's not remotely like that here----- nor is it in most places i would think .

Here----teachers have a separate retirement system----- they do NOT collect social security.

however---- out of their salary they pay in MUCH more to their alternative system then we pay into social security---plus the employers share on top of that.

so yes--- they do end up with a decent retirement----- however if ordinary americans invested in their retirement at the % of income that teachers invest in theirs----- for 30 years---- ordinary americans would have pretty sweet retirements as well. Here---a teachers retirement isn't much different that what my dad recieved when he retired from a fortune 500 company after 27 years.

Most americans would simply rather moan and complain about how the unions are robbing us blind----when that really isn't the case.

Stephen


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## Calidecks (Nov 19, 2011)

Stephen H said:


> My wife is a teacher----and it's not remotely like that here----- nor is it in most places i would think .
> 
> Here----teachers have a separate retirement system----- they do NOT collect social security.
> 
> ...


Most Americans don't get 74 to 1 in benefits. It's more like 2 to 1. Most Americans don't make 101,000 a year. Most Americans don't only work 181 days a year for that kind of money. And yes it's because of the teachers union the money doesn't go to the classrooms it goes to the pensions. Been in this state 50 years I know more about it then most.


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## Calidecks (Nov 19, 2011)

We have police sergeants here making 280,000 per year.


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## Spencer (Jul 6, 2005)

Californiadecks said:


> We have police sergeants here making 280,000 per year.


The more I know about California the more I wish it would just break off into the ocean and form its own country. (I had to heavily edit this statement.) Unbelievable.


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## TimNJ (Sep 7, 2005)

Californiadecks said:


> Most Americans don't get 74 to 1 in benefits. It's more like 2 to 1. Most Americans don't make 101,000 a year. Most Americans don't only work 181 days a year for that kind of money. And yes it's because of the teachers union the money doesn't go to the classrooms it goes to the pensions. Been in this state 50 years I know more about it then most.



That may sound like a lot to the average worker in KY, but what does the average 3bdrm house sell for in your area?
What are you paying for gas, electric? 


My sister in law is a teacher her in NJ. She used to complain about the union too. One time I just got sick of hearing it and told her, "I don't hear you complaining about cashing your paycheck, or telling them 'No thanks, I don't want the raise you negotiated for me in the last contract' ".


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## Calidecks (Nov 19, 2011)

TimNJ said:


> That may sound like a lot to the average worker in KY, but what does the average 3bdrm house sell for in your area?
> What are you paying for gas, electric?
> 
> 
> My sister in law is a teacher her in NJ. She used to complain about the union too. One time I just got sick of hearing it and told her, "I don't hear you complaining about cashing your paycheck, or telling them 'No thanks, I don't want the raise you negotiated for me in the last contract' ".


Gas is 2.93 a gallon electric bill is about 150 - 200 a month. My mortgage will be paid off in 8 years and my home is worth 750,000 dollars. I can retire and move to your state and have half a mil. Left over just from selling my home. I also make more then my wife. It's really not as much as you might think to live here. Also I get to live in the best weather in the world.


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## Calidecks (Nov 19, 2011)

TimNJ said:


> That may sound like a lot to the average worker in KY, but what does the average 3bdrm house sell for in your area?
> What are you paying for gas, electric?
> 
> 
> My sister in law is a teacher her in NJ. She used to complain about the union too. One time I just got sick of hearing it and told her, "I don't hear you complaining about cashing your paycheck, or telling them 'No thanks, I don't want the raise you negotiated for me in the last contract' ".


She's not the problem it's the people giving it away that's the problem. You can't blame the teacher for taking the money. 

My wife and I vote against the union every election. Even if means it could hit her pocket book.


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## Driftweed (Nov 7, 2012)

Wow 6 pages of reading and no one asked the obvious question: Why are you counting on someone else to pay your bills as a businessman?

How many times do we hear: but my wife's a teacher, nurse, bla bla bla and will support me while I build my business....:no:

When you start a company dependent on someone else's paycheck, you are doomed to this scenario. I used to ask this all the time when someone mentioned it, but just gave up. 

Now your excellent business model will be in jeopardy because all this time you counted on SOMEONE ELSE to pay the bills. Should have considered this a long time ago my friend. In my eye's you put yourself in this situation. Can you overcome it? Sure, but it's going to take time. 

You should have already had this calculated into your salary. Well, now you will at least, and here's hoping your customers will understand the price hike.

Sorry to be mean, but someone had to say it.


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## jb4211 (Jul 13, 2010)

Driftweed said:


> Wow 6 pages of reading and no one asked the obvious question: Why are you counting on someone else to pay your bills as a businessman?
> 
> How many times do we hear: but my wife's a teacher, nurse, bla bla bla and will support me while I build my business....:no:
> 
> ...


I didn't take it as mean, just more to the point and heart of your thoughts. That's what's great about this site: hopefully, you can get real, unbiased, truthful advice/opinions on what's bothering you.


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## TimNJ (Sep 7, 2005)

Californiadecks said:


> Gas is 2.93 a gallon electric bill is about 150 - 200 a month. My mortgage will be paid off in 8 years and my home is worth 750,000 dollars. I can retire and move to your state and have half a mil. Left over just from selling my home. I also make more then my wife. It's really not as much as you might think to live here. Also I get to live in the best weather in the world.



Your house?
I asked what an average 3 bdrm sells for?

In KY you could get it for $100,000.
I hope it's not $750,000 where you live.

You could sell out and move to Jersey. The problem is that the $500,000 would be eaten up in $20,000 a year property taxes.


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## blacktop (Oct 28, 2012)

TimNJ said:


> You could sell out and move to Jersey. The problem is that the $500,000 would be eaten up in $20,000 a year property taxes.


That's why every 3rd house I do Is for a Northerner ! They Love It down here!!! Great people to work for too!.... well....90% of em!!:whistling


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## Calidecks (Nov 19, 2011)

Jaws said:


> Not be a prick, Mike, but what do you know about what it is like to retire as a cop or fireman? Have you done either? I have not. I do know that the safety factor alone makes the job worth more than they make, at least here. Cops start at 16 an hour in my hometown, fireman 12. Austin and Houston around 40 grand a year. A buddy of mine from high school is an APD patrol sergeant, he makes less than 70k a year with overtime and 10 years on the job.
> 
> Teachers are very underpaid here, imo. All state jobs are low pay here. Our governor makes half what your school superintendent makes. :laughing: They do it for the pension, days off ect.. Thats why our Rainy Day fund is funded.....My wife is a state employee and I believe they should be paid less than a private sector job to make up for the benefits. Teachers deserve more money though, by a lot in my opinion.
> 
> The military is what is low paid. My buddy is an e7 in the Marines. I dont know what he makes, but he said when he retires as an e8 with 20 years he will get 25k a year and VA benefits. His knees and back are at least as busted up as any tradesman who is 32, and he has almost 6 years combined time in a war zone with a dangerous job and the lives of a lot of people under his command riding on his decisions. At least there were, now he has an administrative job of some sort.


I can prove to you construction work has more injuries and deaths then being a cop. Also I'm not speaking for any cops except the ones here. I also might add they are mandated to retirement at age 50.


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## Calidecks (Nov 19, 2011)

797 construction workers killed last year compared to 111 cops.


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## Jaws (Dec 20, 2010)

Im not going to argue about it. Same thing for combat deaths vs construction, im sure. But ive never been opened up on with an automatic weapon, never been in a mortar attack, no IEDs in Texas.

As for cops, you and I go home everyday to our families after a pretty normal job. Cops, EMTs and Fireman see dead bodies, mutilated people, suicides, child molest lers and rapists on a daily basis, especially in a city. That alone makes the job much more mentally stressful. Construction workers dont confront hood rats every day either, or have the threat of being in a gunfight at any given time. Same for fireman. Ever ran a saw or jaws of life standing in a puddle of gas? If you feel that your job is that unsafe you are doing it wrong.


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## Jaws (Dec 20, 2010)

Californiadecks said:


> Answer this John, at what price would you ***** about it? you must have a "too much money" cap. Or should we not say anything because they are cops and I've never been one?


Im not saying its not too much, I dont have your problems. Cops dont make that here. I do think if teachers make 110k a year in Anaheim Hills a cop in Compton should make every bit of that.


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## Jaws (Dec 20, 2010)

https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&sou...RxAcJBTkkP49_TDIg&sig2=exMfbE5wfiG0P9z1wtHMbw

I dont see 200k on there.


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## Calidecks (Nov 19, 2011)

Jaws said:


> Im not going to argue about it. Same thing for combat deaths vs construction, im sure. But ive never been opened up on with an automatic weapon, never been in a mortar attack, no IEDs in Texas.
> 
> As for cops, you and I go home everyday to our families after a pretty normal job. Cops, EMTs and Fireman see dead bodies, mutilated people, suicides, child molest lers and rapists on a daily basis, especially in a city. That alone makes the job much more mentally stressful. Construction workers dont confront hood rats every day either, or have the threat of being in a gunfight at any given time. Same for fireman. Ever ran a saw or jaws of life standing in a puddle of gas? If you feel that your job is that unsafe you are doing it wrong.


Who said anything about combat. We're talking cops. I know lots of them. It's a racket. There job isn't more dangerous them a freeway worker. He goes out there everyday so you have a place to drive to work take your kids to school. This could go on and on.


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## Calidecks (Nov 19, 2011)

Jaws said:


> Im not going to argue about it. Same thing for combat deaths vs construction, im sure. But ive never been opened up on with an automatic weapon, never been in a mortar attack, no IEDs in Texas.
> 
> As for cops, you and I go home everyday to our families after a pretty normal job. Cops, EMTs and Fireman see dead bodies, mutilated people, suicides, child molest lers and rapists on a daily basis, especially in a city. That alone makes the job much more mentally stressful. Construction workers dont confront hood rats every day either, or have the threat of being in a gunfight at any given time. Same for fireman. Ever ran a saw or jaws of life standing in a puddle of gas? If you feel that your job is that unsafe you are doing it wrong.


Feeling my job has its dangers has nothing to do with me doing it wrong.


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## Jaws (Dec 20, 2010)

Californiadecks said:


> Feeling my job has its dangers has nothing to do with me doing it wrong.


Different strokes. Not worth arguing about. Ever seen someone whos blown their brains out? I have, its not a good time. Im a pretty tough dude emotionally and mentally and I wouldnt want to see that kind of crap everyday for 20 years. There is more to worry about with a cop, emt or firemans health than just physical, imo. 

My only point is that if your going to start cutting salaries down, for once lets not take it from somebody who is actually doing something, like a teacher, cop or fireman. 

I do think the wages you are listing are very high, but I dont live in California, so I have no idea the cost of living and dont really care enough about the subject of yalls wages to argue it, or the knowledge.


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## Calidecks (Nov 19, 2011)

Jaws said:


> Different strokes. Not worth arguing about. Ever seen someone whos blown their brains out? I have, its not a good time. Im a pretty tough dude emotionally and mentally and I wouldnt want to see that kind of crap everyday for 20 years. There is more to worry about with a cop, emt or firemans health than just physical, imo.
> 
> My only point is that if your going to start cutting salaries down, for once lets not take it from somebody who is actually doing something, like a teacher, cop or fireman.
> 
> I do think the wages you are listing are very high, but I dont live in California, so I have no idea the cost of living and dont really care enough about the subject of yalls wages to argue it, or the knowledge.


Here's the misconception. No cop sees that everyday. A motel worker sees it more then a cop. I know, my family owns 5 of them.


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## Calidecks (Nov 19, 2011)

I like you John and we will just have to agree to disagree on some things. It happens we both are will intentioned I'm sure. :thumbsup:


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## Jaws (Dec 20, 2010)

Californiadecks said:


> Here's the misconception. No cop sees that everyday. A motel worker sees it more then a cop. I know, my family owns 5 of them.


I dont believe I have any misconceptions. I am a "volunteer" fireman in a very rural area, and I have seen around a dozen bodies in that condition or worse in 8 years. I dont do anywhere near 40 hours a week either. I wonder what a big city cop or fireman sees in 8 years. Maybe you arent considering car wrecks? 

We are too far apart on this one to make the discussion worth while.


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## TimNJ (Sep 7, 2005)

Jaws said:


> The military is what is low paid. My buddy is an e7 in the Marines. I dont know what he makes, but he said when he retires as an e8 with 20 years he will get 25k a year and VA benefits. His knees and back are at least as busted up as any tradesman who is 32,




Your buddy maybe should double check those numbers.
My BIL gets $3000 a month for 100% disability and he was only in for 2-3 years. Plus gets $1600 in SSI.


Military pay may seem low when you look at "base pay" for whatever rank. Once you add all the extra's they are doing good.
I have rental properties and they are all occupied by military.
They receive a housing allowance based on what rates are in the area and also their rank. Everyone of my tenants is making money by living off post in a rental. The housing on base can't get people to live in it because they make money living off base.


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## Calidecks (Nov 19, 2011)

Jaws said:


> I dont believe I have any misconceptions. I am a "volunteer" fireman in a very rural area, and I have seen around a dozen bodies in that condition or worse in 8 years. I dont do anywhere near 40 hours a week either. I wonder what a big city cop or fireman sees in 8 years. Maybe you arent considering car wrecks?
> 
> We are too far apart on this one to make the discussion worth while.


Then we should pay ambulance drivers the same, 200k a year, oh and don't forget motel workers. I'm not saying they shouldn't be well compensated, but at some point they are taking advantage of the taxpayer. Surely you must have a cap. I'm curious to know when you think it's too much, if 200k a year isn't. 300k? 400k? Any idea?


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## Jaws (Dec 20, 2010)

TimNJ said:


> Your buddy maybe should double check those numbers.
> My BIL gets $3000 a month for 100% disability and he was only in for 2-3 years. Plus gets $1600 in SSI.
> 
> 
> ...


I dont know, I do know a gs 11 makes a lot more than a gunnery sergeant in the Marines. That doesn't make a lot of sense to me. 

Retirement at 20 years is now 49% of your base pay. Your buddy is probably 100% disabled.


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## Jaws (Dec 20, 2010)

Californiadecks said:


> Then we should pay ambulance drivers the same, 200k a year, oh and don't forget motel workers. I'm not saying they shouldn't be well compensated, but at some point they are taking advantage of the taxpayer. Surely you must have a cap. I'm curious to know when you think it's too much, if 200k a year isn't. 300k? 400k? Any idea?


Like I said, not from California so I dont have an opinion on yalls wages. Cops are not paid a lot here, neither is anyone in public works. 

Just rubs me the wrong way when someone starts talking about cops and fireman having a "racket" when there are plenty of do nothing jobs in the same government making more. Cops, fireman, teachers, ambulance driver s ect... actually do something. 

200k for any public job is absurd to me.


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## Calidecks (Nov 19, 2011)

I don't like calling it a racket but it is. The average Californian makes 51000 per year.


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## TimNJ (Sep 7, 2005)

Jaws said:


> I dont know, I do know a gs 11 makes a lot more than a gunnery sergeant in the Marines. That doesn't make a lot of sense to me.
> 
> Retirement at 20 years is now 49% of your base pay. Your buddy is probably 100% disabled.


He is.

http://militarypay.defense.gov/retirement/ad/15_rc_ts_E8_24.html


If you have some spare time:laughing:


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## Sabagley (Dec 31, 2012)

Californiadecks said:


> 797 construction workers killed last year compared to 111 cops.


What's the ratio? How many of each?


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## 91782 (Sep 6, 2012)

http://criminologycareers.about.com/od/Career_Trends/a/Dangers-In-Criminal-Justice-Careers.htm


Fishers and related fishing workers, at a rate of 116 deaths per 100,000
Logging workers, at a rate of 91 deaths per 100,000
Aircraft pilots and flight engineers, at a rate of 71 deaths per 100,000
Farmers and ranchers, at a rate of 41 deaths per 100,000
Mining machine operators, at a rate of 38 deaths per 100,000
Roofers, at a rate of 32 deaths per 100,000
Refuse and recyclable material collectors, at a rate of 29 deaths per 100,000
Drivers / sales workers and truck drivers, at a rate of 21 deaths per 100,000
Industrial machinery repair and installation, at a rate of 20 per 100,000
Police and sheriff's patrol officers, at a rate of 19 per 100,000


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## EthanB (Sep 28, 2011)

Sabagley said:


> What's the ratio? How many of each?


The numbers are pretty fuzzy as there are a lot of ancillary positions that don't really apply to your discussion. There are also a lot of law enforcement positions outside of the state and local levels. I never knew that.

So the basic numbers appear to be, in 2012, 6.1 million construction employees and about .75 million state and local cops. I went with the sworn officer count.


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## brickhook (May 8, 2012)

TimNJ said:


> Halfway between Raleigh and Roanoke Rapids. That is timber country area.
> 
> I also have a three acre lot out by Lake Lure. Taxes $96 (expensive compared to the 54 acres:laughing


Ever planning on moving down here?


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## Calidecks (Nov 19, 2011)

Every public wage in California is public record


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## rrk (Apr 22, 2012)

Jaws said:


> Like I said, not from California so I dont have an opinion on yalls wages. Cops are not paid a lot here, neither is anyone in public works.
> 
> Just rubs me the wrong way when someone starts talking about cops and fireman having a "racket" when there are plenty of do nothing jobs in the same government making more. Cops, fireman, teachers, ambulance driver s ect... actually do something.
> 
> 200k for any public job is absurd to me.


It is quite a racket here, there is a suburban town nearby pop. 50k. They have 100 cops, the last 8 retirees got a $110k pension and a check for "unused" sick and vacation days from between $300k and $400k. The last time any cop it that town shot their gun was 12 years ago when they killed a unarmed guy who stole a car. 

Part of the racket is the Chief only stays for 2 years to up his pension then the next guy comes in for 2 years and the next and next. Who keeps track of their unused time? The Chief. The police in NJ must be the most healthy people on the planet.

Another part of the racket is when you do take a day off have someone on duty call you, now your off day is fully paid. A 1 minute phone call changes a vacation/sick day to a paid day.

Someone last year took a picture of a cop sleeping in his car while on duty. Nothing happened to the cop but the guy who took the picture was harassed every time he drove his car.

This was from last week, it was all over the news. What our tax dollars are paying for.
http://www.nj.com/bergen/index.ssf/..._draws_criticism_in_fort_lee_report_says.html


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## 91782 (Sep 6, 2012)

Ah, teachers. They were the most important peeps in my growing up years. 

But: Detroit EAA Chancellor (in charge of a sub-50K students special district of the most miserable schools):

*$325,000, an $8,000 annual car allowance and $25,000 for moving expenses.*

That's in Michigan dollars, not California.

*Nationally, salaries for superintendents in districts with fewer than 50,000 students averaged $211,000, according to the Council of the Great City Schools.*


Even that $211k makes my face flush.

http://www.freep.com/story/opinion/columnists/nancy-******/2014/11/13/eaa-detroit-schools/18934883/

*With an average annual salary of $84,140, civil engineers earn a similar salary as mechanical engineers, who make $84,770. However, civil engineers earn less than other positions on the Best Technology Jobs list, including software developers who make an average salary of $93,280 and IT managers who earn $129,130.*
http://money.usnews.com/careers/best-jobs/civil-engineer/salary

*Oakland County Sheriff’s Deputies start at $33,903 a year. That's for a population in excess of 1.2 million, dozens and dozens of municipalities, and a county that has been in the top 10 nationwide for decades in terms of economic wealth.*

And yeah, OCSO is among the most competent, well trained, and dedicated professionals in the nation, bar none.


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## TimNJ (Sep 7, 2005)

brickhook said:


> Ever planning on moving down here?


Good God, I hope this spring to get my house on the market and sold up here.
I have been in an almost three year lawsuit/battle with one of my sister's over my mother's estate. Just got a copy of the settlement agreement with all the acknowledgements from the court on Tues.:clap:

Of course now I have to get the estate properties sold.


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## Calidecks (Nov 19, 2011)

TimNJ said:


> Good God, I hope this spring to get my house on the market and sold up here.
> I have been in an almost three year lawsuit/battle with one of my sister's over my mother's estate. Just got a copy of the settlement agreement with all the acknowledgements from the court on Tues.:clap:
> 
> Of course now I have to get the estate properties sold.


So did you lose a sister?


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## TimNJ (Sep 7, 2005)

Californiadecks said:


> So did you lose a sister?




Yeah, many, many years ago:laughing::laughing:


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## Texas Wax (Jan 16, 2012)

Californiadecks said:


> 797 construction workers killed last year compared to 111 cops.


Just want to point out straight numbers don't make fair comparisons. How many total Cops and how many total construction workers. For example 5 million cops and 80 million construction workers ... skews those deaths in a different direction. and Yes I pulled those figures from my #ss. :jester: You do your own home work and google it :jester:


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## Calidecks (Nov 19, 2011)

SmallTownGuy said:


> http://criminologycareers.about.com/od/Career_Trends/a/Dangers-In-Criminal-Justice-Careers.htm
> 
> 
> Fishers and related fishing workers, at a rate of 116 deaths per 100,000
> ...


Is this what your looking for? 


Texas Wax said:


> Just want to point out straight numbers don't make fair comparisons. How many total Cops and how many total construction workers. For example 5 million cops and 80 million construction workers ... skews those deaths in a different direction. and Yes I pulled those figures from my #ss. :jester: You do your own home work and google it :jester:


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