# Construction/contractor lingo w/ translation



## Buck25 (Jan 30, 2009)

Ok, what are the common phrases out there, along with their translations.

Here's a few

"Yes, ma'am, we offer a full line of handyman services. Let me check the schedule, and I'll see when I can fit you in."
Translation: "Holy Crap! Work! I'll do it yesterday!"

"I don't think this is a good match" or "No, I'm sorry, I just can't lower my price"
Translation: "Screw you, you cheap SOB! Stop wasting my time and go to the Home Depot parking lot and hire someone!"

"That there [piece of craftsmanship] is dead nuts!"
Translation: That there [piece of craftsmanship] is dead nuts!"


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## Joasis (Mar 28, 2006)

I had a guy ask me how much less it will cost to build an ICF home now that we are "hungry"......


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## dubz (Sep 8, 2008)

joasis said:


> I had a guy ask me how much less it will cost to build an ICF home now that we are "hungry"......


ugh


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## BattleRidge (Feb 9, 2008)

joasis said:


> I had a guy ask me how much less it will cost to build an ICF home now that we are "hungry"......


:clap:tell him twice as much to cover last months bills too.


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## JumboJack (Aug 14, 2007)

"We are getting three bids"......_and will take the lowest one FO SHO._


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## Magnettica (Dec 19, 2006)

Ma'am, I'm pretty good at snaking. :cheesygri


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## Buck25 (Jan 30, 2009)

Magnettica, is that SLASH!!!:thumbup::thumbup::w00t::notworthy


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## Magnettica (Dec 19, 2006)

Why, does it look somebody else with a top hat and Les Paul Sunburst?

Of course it's Slash. :d


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## Deadhead Derek (Dec 3, 2008)

''Two weeks......translated-....anything but


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## HWCostruction (Oct 14, 2008)

"Well, I'm going to have to redo this because it wasn't done right to begin with."

Translation: "Who the hell was the dumbf**k that did this stupid crap!?


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## loneframer (Feb 13, 2009)

GC to sub, "don't you think it would be better if........."
Translation...."that looks like dogs#!$, fix it before you hand me a bill"


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## Five Star (Jan 15, 2009)

customer: what kind of warranty you offer @ this price?

me: license plate

as soon as you see my license plate disappear your warranty is over

customer: :furious:


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## wallmaxx (Jun 18, 2007)

joasis said:


> I had a guy ask me how much less it will cost to build an ICF home now that we are "hungry"......


I had a guy referred to me to draw up his hand sketched plans for permitting.

During our sit-down meeting, he commented how this was a great time for him to get some "REAL DEALS" on sub prices, since everyone was cutting each others prices...he was going to save a bundle.

He was a bit too arrogant for me...so I bid it at full price plus, 50 cents per foot for the principle of the thing. 

He has yet to call me back. Good thing too....I'm too busy to deal with "Yugo" customers. There ARE Cadillac customers out there....really...they exist.

Mike


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## greg24k (May 19, 2007)

loneframer said:


> GC to sub, "don't you think it would be better if........."
> Translation...."that looks like dogs#!$, fix it before you hand me a bill"


Sounds familiar, used it quiet a few times!!! :laughing::laughing::laughing::laughing:


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## threaderman (Nov 15, 2007)

Customer-I have a small leak under the house,it's only bein leaking a short time and I THINK there's plenty of room under the house

Reality- if you can find a large enough access to get under the house at all,put on your scuba gear and take some bug killer,it's not going to be pretty.


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## Chris Johnson (Apr 19, 2007)

joasis said:


> I had a guy ask me how much less it will cost to build an ICF home now that we are "hungry"......


And I haven't changed my price. It costs what it costs.

I have almost given up trying to save these people from the disaster that awaits them.


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## carolinahandyma (Jan 6, 2006)

Homeowner: I have a small repair, shouldn't take more than an hour = half day job with two workers!


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## buildpinnacle (Sep 2, 2008)

Customer: Do you want me to write you a check today
Contractor: Ma'am it's our company policy not to bill the first draw until we actually have materials or men on the project doing the work. I want you to know I'm not going to run off with your money.

Translation: Please think I'm honest and write me a check, please think I'm honest and write me a check, please think I'm honest and write me a check


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## buildpinnacle (Sep 2, 2008)

Superintendent to Owner: (usually over the phone) It's not that big of deal, we'll fix it.

Translation: You just lost a ton of money and time


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## AtlRemodeling (Jan 23, 2008)

For a short, short time I had a helper. First day on the job he is calling measurements off while I am cutting:

Helper: Next piece 5' 1/2" plus.
Me: What the hell did you just say?
Helper: plus means the small line after the 1/2" line.
Me: Get off my job.

translation: no clue how to read a tape.


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