# Measure twice cut once.



## smartcarpie (Apr 27, 2010)

Dollar waitin' on a dime, guy...

Put a little more a** onto it...

You could pass a guy a sandwich through that crack...


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## Leo G (May 12, 2005)

What the f are you doing just standing there. Get your a back to work.

A train could go through that gap.


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## CookeCarpentry (Feb 26, 2009)

"It'll all come out in the wash."

Said to me by a jerk of a carpenter when I was a helper. 

I used to inquire as to what "wash" he was talking about, or how big of a washing machine would be needed to make his work look good....:laughing:


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## vos (Apr 6, 2010)

"grow a set"
"hit it with ur purse" 
"grind me a pond" (when sum one is using a drill wrong)


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## Rio (Oct 13, 2009)

Old retired developer who had a hobby refurbishing cabinets and selling them used to love to say, "We lose a little on each one, but make it up in volume".


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## loneframer (Feb 13, 2009)

"Miters like that are the reason why the caulk tube has a big end."


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## Cletus (Jan 7, 2008)

"When I nod my head, hit it."


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## DPCII (Mar 14, 2010)

Holman said:


> Guy cutting a board several times " You gonna make a career out of that???!"
> 
> "Hows it fit?" "like it grew there"
> 
> ...


I thought the basics for plumbing were: Hot on left, cold on right, **** wont flow up hill, and don't bite your fingernails


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## Holman (Sep 28, 2010)

DPCII said:


> I thought the basics for plumbing were: Hot on left, cold on right, **** wont flow up hill, and don't bite your fingernails[/QUOT\]
> 
> I was in a hurry, I knew I left part of it out lol


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## JT Wood (Dec 17, 2007)

"I bent that nail because you were watching me"


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## Resta (Feb 11, 2009)

Don't hurry to make your boss rich...just make him a tittle (little bit) happy....


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## blackbear (Feb 29, 2008)

hack old boss "warranty? my only warranty is a tail light warranty"


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## PA woodbutcher (Mar 29, 2007)

Spike it fast, we'll plumb it in the morning


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## Cutonce (Oct 1, 2010)

When someone knew you were going on a flight.

"be sure to take an extension cord with ya, you know if you have to jump out the plane that thing will catch on something and save ya"


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## Big Shoe (Jun 16, 2008)

Remember..........I forgot more than you know!

Tape is 500' wide and 2'' long. 

Nickel holding up a dollar.


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## HandyHails (Feb 28, 2009)

I've built more houses than you've even driven by.

I was doing this when you were just a twinkle in your daddy's eye!! (still playing in the sandbox, still crapping in diapers)


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## loneframer (Feb 13, 2009)

Big Al, while running out sub-floor...

"Get out of the way, or you'll be a bump in the floor"


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## tcleve4911 (Mar 26, 2006)

It's not sloppy.......... just fully adjustable


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## William James (Mar 5, 2010)

Looks good from my house.
Just Mickey Mouse it.
Like shet through a straw.
Hit it Nancy!


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## dayexco (Mar 4, 2006)

you could fugh up a wet dream in a whore house


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## Tom Struble (Mar 2, 2007)

hand me that j channel...thanks go back to sleep


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## Brutus (May 29, 2007)

when someone new comes on site and is choking up on their hammer.."here, want me to cut the rest of that hammer off for ya?"

First day ever working on site, I asked something about getting ready for the other trades... the old guy on crew said "Not my problem" Still use it.

New guy comes on site "hey kid, remember, new guy buys the beers on friday"... it only worked once.

New guys takes off his pouch and it's not lunch, break or end of day.."Hey bud, remember, no f***ing pouch, no f***ing pay!" Works pretty good actually..


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## woodworkbykirk (Sep 17, 2008)

very true about the no pouch, our labor sometimes cuts for us but he refuses to wear his nailbag, the last week hes been whining about having to make 3 trips up and down a ladder to set up gear... good chance his days are numbered

anyhow

frame for the finish, make sure your every piece of trim is going to be a full piece, no rips


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## Warren (Feb 19, 2005)

woodworkbykirk said:


> very true about the no pouch, our labor sometimes cuts for us but he refuses to wear his nailbag, the last week hes been whining about having to make 3 trips up and down a ladder to set up gear... good chance his days are numbered
> 
> anyhow
> 
> frame for the finish, make sure your every piece of trim is going to be a full piece, no rips


I absolutely hate that and put a stop to it when I see it. Usually it's just the new guys. Unless you have some heavy duty laboring to do, KEEP THE POUCHES ON!!


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## Tom Struble (Mar 2, 2007)

i don't wanna wear mine no mo either


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## woodworkbykirk (Sep 17, 2008)

so true warren, my nail bag comes off at break, when i dont have a labor on site and have to lug a bunch of stuff. then when running trim but only after all doors are hung and cased then windows are trimmed. after that too much risk of damaging freshly painted walls.. if not i have to hear the painters and tapers moaning that they have to do touchups


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## Five Arrows (Jan 30, 2010)

Get me the blue ***** (gigantic channel locks)

Quit admiring it....nail it!

That's the painters job.

Why do you think they make trim?

Don't worry that's what we call a compression fit. The wood will shrink over time.


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## nailman (Sep 4, 2008)

picking out a splinter, draw a circle around it and take it out on your own time.


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## Cache (Sep 18, 2007)

"Swing hard in case you hit it!"

To the guy who takes off his belt. "Can't get milk from a cow with no udders."


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## JT Wood (Dec 17, 2007)

It's a fool proof system,, So If you can't understand,,,,,,,


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## JT Wood (Dec 17, 2007)

Warren said:


> I absolutely hate that and put a stop to it when I see it. Usually it's just the new guys. Unless you have some heavy duty laboring to do, KEEP THE POUCHES ON!!




The other day I was at home and I needed to take out a sliver and I was reaching for my knife on my hip, Of course I wasn't wearing my tool belt:laughing:


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## jb4211 (Jul 13, 2010)

_*"I was doing this in Baghdad, when you were still in your Dad's bag!"*_


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## festerized (May 19, 2007)

*"No problems just solutions"*


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## TNTRenovate (Aug 19, 2010)

I also forgot:

"Admit nothing, deny everything, and demand proof!"


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## skyhook (Mar 17, 2007)

Make it level.
Level with what?
Level with the world.
:sad:​


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## MikeReynolds (May 26, 2009)

Drive a stake next to him to see if he's movin'.


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## festerized (May 19, 2007)

Jack of all trades, master on nun


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## TNTRenovate (Aug 19, 2010)

festerized said:


> Jack of all trades, master on nun


? I that doesn't make sense?

I thought the saying was "Jack of all Trades, Master of none."


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## festerized (May 19, 2007)

I was trying to write it the way my uncle would say it


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## TNTRenovate (Aug 19, 2010)

Sorry, my bad, Festerized....oh yeah, that is one that really drives me up the wall.

"Sorry bro, my bad."


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## loneframer (Feb 13, 2009)

Brutus said:


> when someone new comes on site and is choking up on their hammer.."here, want me to cut the rest of that hammer off for ya?"
> 
> First day ever working on site, I asked something about getting ready for the other trades... the old guy on crew said "Not my problem" Still use it.
> 
> ...


 I used to tell the guys "When the belt drops, the clock stops":laughing:


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## Brutus (May 29, 2007)

loneframer said:


> I used to tell the guys "When the belt drops, the clock stops":laughing:


 
One guy went to the porta-john with his belt on, because of what I said to him. :laughing:


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