# Uh Ohh....Gotta Go!!!!!



## EMINNYS (Nov 29, 2010)

So the other day I was running late , so instead of using the bathroom at the local big box store(Lowes bathrooms are spotless around here), I decide to hold it, since the HO told me that she wouldnt be home to let me in. I get to the job and by now I am ready to explode. I dont see a car in the driveway , so I knock and let myself in....To my surprise, not only is the HO home but so are her 3 kids...... Well I didnt even think about it. I said hello , and went into the bathroom , and after about 3 minutes I washed up and left. No exhaust fan, no airfreshener....The teenage daughter is standing outside the bathroom waiting to brush her her......:blink::blink::blink::blink::blink::blink:
How many times has this happened to you????????


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## tinner666 (Nov 3, 2004)

Never. I get up a tad early so I'm all done by time I leave.

Of course, I have been caught watering shrubs on occasion.:whistling


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## Mrmac204 (Dec 27, 2006)

yup, I get up early to allow time for that. I also know where the fast food joints/gas stations are near where I'm workin. If it's a long drive, I don't have two cup's of coffee either


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## Inner10 (Mar 12, 2009)

Its all in the timing of the courtesy flush. :thumbsup:


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## superseal (Feb 4, 2009)

we're talking #2 right?  in that case i'd be as red as my truck:laughing::laughing::laughing:


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## RUKIDDINGME (Feb 19, 2011)

massive doses of ammodium will hold you for days


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## dprimc (Mar 13, 2009)

Almost never an issue for me, although this last summer had to go #2 in the clients house. She worked from home and was downstairs. 

For some strange reason the toilet plugs, although there was not a lot of paper or anything else. :sad:

Had to ask for a plunger. :sad: :sad: 

Client brings me the cheapest plunger you've ever seen. Looks about 20 years old and the rubber has a tear. After about 30 minutes of attempting to get things flowing, had to ask the client for help. :sad::sad::sad: 

By that time, the contents of the bowl were a real disaster. I felt like walking off the job. The fact that the client said, "Its only s#%&, and I raised 3 boys," helped a little.

One of the most embarrassing events of my life.


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## EMINNYS (Nov 29, 2010)

Inner10 said:


> Its all in the timing of the courtesy flush. :thumbsup:


 
This episode included 2 courtesy flushes...... they didnt help....The point is if I thought she was going to be home I would have completed my routine at Lowes....Its like clockwork. Once when I get up, then I have breakfast, and then a walk around Lowes or whereever and then its time.


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## EMINNYS (Nov 29, 2010)

dprimc said:


> Almost never an issue for me, although this last summer had to go #2 in the clients house. She worked from home and was downstairs.
> 
> For some strange reason the toilet plugs, although there was not a lot of paper or anything else. :sad:
> 
> ...


 
See . Now I feel better....


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## Leo G (May 12, 2005)

RUKIDDINGME said:


> massive doses of ammodium will hold you for days


:w00t::laughing::laughing:

Just think, one tablet a day and you may never need to go again :whistling


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## tedanderson (May 19, 2010)

I'm glad you shared that.  I thought I was the only one that ran into encounters like the one you described.

Like many of us here, I try to handle my business before I leave the house. But there are those days when my digestive system doesn't start working until I get out to the main highway. Any time I have an unexpected "episode" I'll excuse myself and make a trip to the local gas station or retail store. But the last time I got caught off guard, I was in the HO's basement while they were upstairs on the second level in their bedroom. It was a situation where I didn't want to disturb them but I didn't want to leave without telling them so I handled my business hoping that they didn't come downstairs looking for me.

Not that they would have had a problem with me using their restroom but sometimes my poor eating habits results in freckles and skid marks around the bowl and without anything to clean it, I didn't want to embarrass myself. I was also a little nervous about their children. The HO has 4 home schooled children between the ages of 3 and 7 and they are very inquisitive and curious so I really didn't want to be in a position where I had to explain myself or have the kids run and tell their parents, "Mr Ted left doo-doo in the toilet!"


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## NYCB (Sep 20, 2010)

I've done some pretty creative urinating before. 

Typically if I'm going to cause an explosion though I do my best to get to somewhere that where people get paid to clean the bathroom.

I did work with a guy for a landscaping company though, that every day almost would knock on the door of the house and ask to use the bathroom. I thought that a bit forward for the guys that are working outside the house, but he didn't seem to mind.


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## KnottyWoodwork (May 23, 2010)

Sometimes the normal flow of the day doesn't go to plan. Heck, just last week I met the little lady for lunch at a new restaraunt. Within 15min we were both on the lookout for clean bathrooms! If at all possible, I prefer to go at home, but it just wasn't happening!


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## Schmidt & Co (Jun 2, 2008)

This is the most "messed up" thread I've read on here yet. But I'm laughing my butt off because I can relate!


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## The Coastal Craftsman (Jun 29, 2009)

I was in HD about a year ago. I just had lunch and needed to go bad. I have always used up way to much paper and block my own toilet up often. My little trick to to fill the pan right up to the rim and right as it gets to the edge the blockage clears. In HD it didn't quite happen like that. I done about 2-3 flushes and got it right close to the rim. I pulled down the lever a little bit to lift the flap a tad to let the water though just like at home. We the dam thing done a full flush and my logs were all over the floor :shutup::whistling


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## Sir Mixalot (Jan 6, 2008)

EMINNYS said:


> *Uh Ohh....Gotta Go!!!!!*


Two words---->CARGO VAN!!!!:whistling.....


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## Muddauber (Nov 2, 2007)

Sir Mixalot said:


> Two words---->CARGO VAN!!!!:whistling.....



:laughing::laughing::laughing: And make sure to always have an extra drywall bucket in the van.


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## Sir Mixalot (Jan 6, 2008)

Muddauber said:


> :laughing::laughing::laughing: And make sure to always have an extra drywall bucket in the van.


And TP. :laughing:


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## Willy is (May 20, 2010)

Astronaut snuggies; Hell yeah!!!

I also think that it would be a great phone app to have all the area *port o potties* listed w/ GPS coordinates.

Help a brother out.

Willy


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## loneframer (Feb 13, 2009)

I won't get too graphic, but I was on a job with several other guys doing a window replacement a while back.

HOs wife was in and out all morning and I was ready to evacuate unintentionally.:blink:

Well, she steps out and walks next door, so I jet to the powder room.

Let's just say that the air quality was severely compromised by the time I left.:whistling

Anyway, one of the other guys heads in there moments after I leave, without setting the fart fan on.:shutup:

Just as he turns to expedite Plan B, the HOs wife walks back in and sees him leaving the powder room.:w00t:

Timing is absolutely everything.:laughing:


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## Willy is (May 20, 2010)

If you don't want to foul the bathroom, there is always the kitty litter box.
----when all else fails blame the cat or dog. :whistling :shifty:

And be sure to carry that yellow caution tape to post by the HO's bathroom to save them from PTSS. :laughing:

I carry an MT laundry detergent bottle with me and have filled it (only #1!!) many times in odd places.
Under a tarp, in the bushes, inside of my coveralls, HO's garage, fabbed scaffold tent.

The pause that refreshes..... ahhhh, _now_ I can concentrate again.

Willy


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## SuperiorHIP (Aug 15, 2010)

I am glad I just about always have my trailer with me. If the HO is home there is usually a close to empty bucket of mud. Just have to make sure to tape the lid so my employee doesnt use it to float anything.


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## SAW.co (Jan 2, 2011)

Thats a good one alright
I'm really careful not to let that happen I don't even like to use the HO crapper when he's not home.
I did have one experience when doing a new deck for my neighbor. I live in a small town so ya get to know your neighbors it was my 3 day & I really had to go normally I would just go home I was only 12 doors away.
Nope I went inside & plugged up that toilet with the pride of an elephant & there was no plunger to be found. Now I have to go ask The guys wife for a plunger.She couldn't find one either then she calls him at work & he says " we don't have one thats never happen before"So now I,m going home anyway to get my plunger. :laughing::laughing: I wont let that happen agin.


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## AmeliaP (Apr 22, 2007)

> The fact that the client said, "Its only s#%&, and I raised 3 boys," helped a little.


:clap::clap::clap: She was so right!


Hands down this is the funniest thread on CT! :thumbsup:

I can't do port-a-jons - I gag just by opening the door! My poor husband has had to drive me around to lots of odd stores to find a bathroom!

The oddest place I had to use was a gutted house - the first floor was basically a big open room with a toilet in the middle - poor Bill had to tarp it up and stand guard while the 15 framers (it was more like 6 but it seemed like 15!) all had to hold up on the second floor because the tarps wouldn't cover the stairwell right! Fastest #1 EVER!


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## Gough (May 1, 2010)

On some NC and major remodels. we've seen the plumbers put in "relief tubes": stub in a piece of DWV after the rough in for the guys to use for #1. The worst on was on a commercial remodel, where the ground floor was an operating business. The floor of the second story had been demo-ed and the poorly-installed suspended ceiling of the ground-floor business was left in place. That meant walking out on the bare joists to use the relief tube, all the while watching the ground-floor customers through the cracks in the suspended ceiling. I kept thinking that it would be embarrassing enough to slip off the joists and fall through the ceiling in any case, but it was easy to imagine an even more embarrassing time to do so.


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## tinner666 (Nov 3, 2004)

I should clarify something. I wasn't urinating in those bushes and behind the shed corners! As I had to explain to each time the Lady of the House saw and 'caught' me, I was just helping her by watering some needy plants and some dry grass. "I wasn't urinating, I swear it! Just watering Ma'am!"
That's my story and I'm sticking to it.:whistling


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## Ragebhardt (Apr 25, 2010)

This is a funny thread. The FUNNY part is how all you big tough guys 

handle one of the most natural things in life. It is in my contracts that we 

have the use of the HO's bathroom or we charge for a portajohn.

Come on guys. Every living thing poops.


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## Mud Master (Feb 26, 2007)

One time a few summers ago, I was pouring a concrete base for a basketball hoop at one of my development customers homes(Just doing the man a favor). Well he was not home at the time, and around 1pm or so, something wicked went through me!! I asked his wife to use the bathroom, down in the basement. And long story short without to many disgusting details.....I WENT TO TOWN!!!!!inch:  

While I am in there she comes down in the basement! I was more worried about the smell than anything.:laughing: Luckily she went away before I was done. It took a good 3 or 4 flushes, but I got it down. So back off to work I went.

Well that day I was just digging, and poured a small footer. So they next day I go over to pour the 'crete and set the hoop, and while I am working A LOCAL PLUMBER ROLLS UP!!:thumbdown 

So I muster up the courage and ask him.."are you here to fix a toilet in the basement? Cause I let one rip in there yesterday, and I thought it went down!!"

He laughed his ass off and said no, that he was fixing a faucet in the kitchen. Thought it was over, but no..he relay's what I said to the wife.

So a few weeks later my customer shows up on site to meet with me about a job and he goes "so what the hell did you do in my bathroom?!? Not only did my wife have to smell it that day, but she had to be reminded of it by the plumber the next day! Was it that bad!?"

Good laugh after wards, but pretty embarrassing throughout.


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## loneframer (Feb 13, 2009)

Mud Master said:


> One time a few summers ago, I was pouring a concrete base for a basketball hoop at one of my development customers homes(Just doing the man a favor). Well he was not home at the time, and around 1pm or so, something wicked went through me!! I asked his wife to use the bathroom, down in the basement. And long story short without to many disgusting details.....I WENT TO TOWN!!!!!inch:
> 
> While I am in there she comes down in the basement! I was more worried about the smell than anything.:laughing: Luckily she went away before I was done. It took a good 3 or 4 flushes, but I got it down. So back off to work I went.
> 
> ...


And now it's known, the truth behind the name.... Mud Master:laughing:


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## loneframer (Feb 13, 2009)

Ragebhardt said:


> This is a funny thread. The FUNNY part is how all you big tough guys
> 
> handle one of the most natural things in life. It is in my contracts that we
> 
> ...


And s#!t smells for a reason. If I have a choice, I'd prefer to breathe in un-violated air space.


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## kswoodbutcher (Dec 4, 2010)

I haven't laughed this hard in a long time! :laughing:


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## Michaeljp86 (Apr 10, 2007)

dprimc said:


> Almost never an issue for me, although this last summer had to go #2 in the clients house. She worked from home and was downstairs.
> 
> For some strange reason the toilet plugs, although there was not a lot of paper or anything else.
> 
> ...


HAHAHAHA, thats the funniest thing Ive heard in a long time. :laughing:



tinner666 said:


> Never. I get up a tad early so I'm all done by time I leave.
> 
> Of course, I have been caught watering shrubs on occasion.:whistling


Ive been there before, my dad has a apartment building and the back of the building is kinda grown up so I wiz back there all the time but in the fall and winter when the leaves drop the lady next door has a sewing machine by the window and watches me. :whistling

The best is ice fishing, guys just walk out into the middle and wiz in the view of hundreds of houses. 



BCConstruction said:


> I was in HD about a year ago. I just had lunch and needed to go bad. I have always used up way to much paper and block my own toilet up often. My little trick to to fill the pan right up to the rim and right as it gets to the edge the blockage clears. In HD it didn't quite happen like that. I done about 2-3 flushes and got it right close to the rim. I pulled down the lever a little bit to lift the flap a tad to let the water though just like at home. We the dam thing done a full flush and my logs were all over the floor :shutup::whistling


:laughing:



kswoodbutcher said:


> I haven't laughed this hard in a long time!


:laughing:


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## Michaeljp86 (Apr 10, 2007)

My uncle invited the pastor at his church to go fishing on lake Michigan. They were way out there and he started cramping up and he knew he had a bad case of diarrhea brewing. He had to have the pastor and his kids turn around while he hung his butt over the edge of the boat.


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## JNB (Feb 10, 2011)

Oh wow, where do I start? So many to share...so slow at typing. 

I was grading at a customer's home 7 miles from the nearest anything. It had started raining real hard, and it happened so fast that it was quicker to dive under the patio cover to get out of it. The wind was blowing so hard I was getting soaked anyway. Intestinal displeasure hit like a ton of bricks, and I had to go NOW! No time for a tp stop at the truck...so I hightailed it to the customer's horse trailer. I figured there would be enough hay and horse poop in there to make cleanup a snap...I was wrong. The floor of the horse trailer was as clean as an operating room. To make it worse, the tail end of the trailer was facing the street and on an angle, so the door wouldn't stay shut. I did my business, and then had to strip down to donate my tighties for cleanup. After the rain stopped, I hooked up a hose for cleanup. When I was walking back to put the hose in my truck, the HO pulls up the driveway. 15 minutes earlier and she would of gotten quite a show!


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## Irishslave (Jun 20, 2010)

When it happens it's never on a slow day either. Always carry some charmin in the truck cause ya just never know


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## ApgarNJ (Apr 16, 2006)

waiting for prestige to share his story..


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## BamBamm5144 (Jul 12, 2008)

Is this seriously a thread about guys taking dumps?


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## jmiller (May 14, 2010)

We had a guy who had to go _every_ day after lunch, so now if someone has to go immediately after eating, it's called taking a Brad.

In the dumpster: a Terry

In the office every morning: a Bob


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## PrestigeR&D (Jan 6, 2010)

*really...*

are you guys aware that this is a PUBLIC forum...... seriously... hey - you want to talk about going to the bathroom, knock your socks off.. it's all out here for all to see.... keep that in mind... frankly this is a really adolescent topic,,,,, gross & imiture....

grow up!

B.


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## Willy is (May 20, 2010)

BamBamm5144 said:


> Is this seriously a thread about guys taking dumps?


No ch1t!! It's about work, right?

Some of these events could have ended up on one's facebook page or have gotten a bad Angies List write up;
"Did good work but he _destroyed_ my toilet." 

One of my old friends wife used to call it the 7:15 Rocket.
"Sorry, Joel can't come to the phone right now, he's catching the 7:15 rocket"

Good alternate thread name;

*When Doody Calls*......

Funny, but pertinent thread......

Willy


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## Artworks (Dec 5, 2009)

This is a real crappy thread !!!!


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## Sir Mixalot (Jan 6, 2008)

PrestigeR&D said:


> are you guys aware that this is a PUBLIC forum...... seriously... hey - you want to talk about going to the bathroom, knock your socks off.. it's all out here for all to see.... keep that in mind... frankly this is a really adolescent topic,,,,, gross & imiture....
> 
> grow up!
> 
> B.










---->


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## ApgarNJ (Apr 16, 2006)

Brian, come on, tell us your story!!!! ahhahahahahaha


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## Willy is (May 20, 2010)

Prestige...... as many of us are force to work in others spaces the subject at hand may be awkward, but it is simply a discussion about the issues which can arise "when nature calls".

There are trade offs; time is money, the concern about leaving a job site, or leaving a job site _different_ the the worker found it.

Yes, there is joking, perhaps sophmoric humor but beneath it there are a variety of issues being discussed;

How it can affect work flow, time lost on a job, customer relations, etc.

People are having _some_ fun but it can be an actual problem and we can all gain from each others past problems and solutions.

willy


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## Michaeljp86 (Apr 10, 2007)

I knew a tree trimmer who climbed trees with the spiked things you strap on your legs. I guess dropping a deuce from the top of a tree was a everyday thing for him.


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## JRSeifert (Apr 22, 2010)

I've got a couple to add.

Firstly, we never drop the deuce at a customer's house. Even though it's inconvenient and a hit in productivity, we always go to a gas station. #1 is fine, but the risks are just too high with #2.

Two instances, both, sadly, involving the same carpenter. Names will be changed to protect the innocent. The contractor shall be Tim, and his helper shall be Brad.

Tim and Brad are framing a deck. The house has a basement bathroom vent fan, which, naturally, exits out the rim of the house. To put the deck ledger on, they had to remove the exterior vent cover, cut a hole in the new ledger, and re-install the vent cover. Ledger is on, and Brad climbs up on a stepladder to re-install the vent cover. Tim excuses himself to make a phone call, but instead goes in the house, drops a bomb, and - you guessed it - turns on the bathroom vent. He then runs to the window to observe Brad on the ladder, with his face all scrunched up and cursing at the vile odor coming right at him.

One more. Another job with Tim and Brad. This was a major remodel. Tim was the GC, and we were subbing some of the carpentry labor. The whole main floor was gutted, and part of the upstairs. The only working bathroom was in the basement. The upstairs master suite _appeared_ to be in working order, but we had removed an interior wall on the main floor below it, where all of the plumbing had been run, and had cut off all of the drain pipes. Everyone on the job knew not to use that toilet, because hey, it had no drain!

The problem was that no one actually taped the lid shut, or marked it with a sign. So one day the drywall delivery guys show up to stock the upstairs. We're all working on the main level, and they're the only ones upstairs, booming rock in through a window. They get done, and one of them has to take a leak. Guess where the guy goes. The master suite. he does his business, hits the lever, and there was enough water in the tank to flush the toilet, right onto Brad's head where he was standing below the cutoff drain pipes on the main floor.

Man he was mad. I guess I don't blame him. Between the stinkbomb in the face, and getting wizzed on by the delivery guy, he had a rough year.


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## Mike's Plumbing (Jul 19, 2010)

I love poop


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## kcbasements (Feb 5, 2010)

Mike's Plumbing said:


> I love poop


That's why your a plumber.


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## loneframer (Feb 13, 2009)

Mike's Plumbing said:


> I love poop


I worked with a plumber who had a saying...."Your s#!t is my bread and butter"

Just noticed... 23 people viewing the poo thread.:blink:


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## Mike's Plumbing (Jul 19, 2010)

Ya know, I always think it's funny when I go to a persons house and they are so embarrassed when I have to unplug a toilet or a grinder pump. 

Everybody has to go to the bathroom but somehow people hate to come to grips with this. I do the best I can to make people comfortable and normally I can get them laughing about it......I can always make people laugh, that's usually my default mode with a touchy subject.

What's really bad is when I pull out the little white mice the ladies flush down, I never tell them what I find, I just say "sometimes things happen"....and "Here is what you owe me" :laughing:

Mike


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## Warren (Feb 19, 2005)

No one posted this yet??


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## loneframer (Feb 13, 2009)

Warren said:


> No one posted this yet??


Yup, that's a good one.:clap:


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## Mike's Plumbing (Jul 19, 2010)

My 9 year old daughter has me play this on youtube for her all the time. She laughs like crazy.

Mike


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## vwovw (Mar 9, 2007)

i'd warn ya then fire you the second time.:no: no way. never!bad bad bad business. i don't care if they weren't home you never do one or two especially number two in a customers house. only way that is kinda ok is if its not beeing lived in. wow funny **** but i'd have to say see ya:furious:


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## tedanderson (May 19, 2010)

> Everybody has to go to the bathroom but somehow people hate to come to grips with this. I do the best I can to make people comfortable and normally I can get them laughing about it......I can always make people laugh, that's usually my default mode with a touchy subject.


I couldn't agree with you more. Hey.. call me an immature 4th grader if you wanna.. 

I still think that this thread is the FUNNIEST thing that I've read on any forum. Granted, something that is a normal bodily function should not be objectified but you can't help but to find the hilarity in something that is so natural yet taboo in the wrong environment. 

Whether you like to go to town, let it rip, release the hounds, or just all out have a no holds barred session on the throne, there are only a few places that you can do this in a clean comfortable environment. Every place else has its challenges.. and THAT'S WHAT IS FUNNY!


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## Michaeljp86 (Apr 10, 2007)

If you ever see a old tractor with a tin can wired on it with corn cobs that is what they used to wipe with when they had to go.


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## jeffatsquan (Mar 16, 2009)

We were working on a total gut remodel. Poorly run job no port-a-jon.

About a week into it you here a big scream, Plumber comes running up from the cellar and yells who the hell had corn last night!!


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## Inner10 (Mar 12, 2009)

> If you ever see a old tractor with a tin can wired on it with corn cobs that is what they used to wipe with when they had to go.


So thats why they call it corn-holing.


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## SAW.co (Jan 2, 2011)

PrestigeR&D said:


> are you guys aware that this is a PUBLIC forum...... seriously... hey - you want to talk about going to the bathroom, knock your socks off.. it's all out here for all to see.... keep that in mind... frankly this is a really adolescent topic,,,,, gross & imiture....
> 
> grow up!
> 
> B.


Are you also aware that this is a free country & that no one has forced you to read this.
Try joining the ladies knitting forum I bet there topics are a little less adolescent,,,,gross & imiture....:laughing:
Besides this thread is vary real it does happen & it can be vary embarrassing.
So frankly whats wrong with laughing it off:notworthy:notworthy:notworthy


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## WilsonRMDL (Sep 4, 2007)

I always keep a bucket or fast food cup in the back of the truck, my cap has the windows all blacked out so no1 can see jn after u shut the hatch.


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## Willie T (Jan 29, 2009)

Mud Master said:


> That is a GREAT invention!


You can get them at almost any good sporting goods or camping store.


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## B.D.R. (May 22, 2007)

There is another one as well I think it is called "The Bumper Dumper". It fits in your trailer hitch. saw it on Jay Leno one night


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## B.D.R. (May 22, 2007)

found it on U tube but don't know how to post it.Sorry


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