# Crazy HOs



## Hofmann (Jul 6, 2008)

Just went to a quote today in one of the ritzy local suburbs. The place had obviously had an expensive remodel job done to it within the last ten years, probably less. 

Get this. The client wanted me to pull out ten large custom made 8 pane rosewood double hung windows, massive bay window, assorted other windows, all the doors, everything matching. They are all in perfect condition, like as new, all $25000/$30 000 worth of them. He wanted to replace them all with aluminium, for the cheap look, I assume. Wanna know why? The double hung windows are a bit sticky. 

Then he wanted to redo the siding. What he has is custom made hardwood weatherboards which have obviously been put on in the recent renovation. They were beautifully installed but the paint had bubbled in places so he decided to strip them all back to bare wood. Well, he had successfully completed about 10' square before he gave up. 
So I ask him, do you just want a different look? If you got money, that seems reasonable enough. No, it turns out, he quite likes the weatherboards, but he got a quote to paint it and while that was fine, they would only offer a 5 year warranty. So, to avoid potentially having to repaint in 5 years, he wants to completely redo it with the fake render look. It had nice wide eaves so a good paint job would last ten years, easy.
I asked him what he thought we were going to do after we render it. Yep, paint it. I had to turn away so he didn't see me guffawing. It was painfull. 

Luckily, I convinced him not to touch the bloody windows but I need to quote a makeover for them, amongst other things. Pull them apart and repaint, new springs, and fix the stickiness which brings me to my question. Whats the best way to make em slide nice and smooth. Plastic strips, olive oil in a spray can? what have you guys got for me? I Also think some draftproofing would be sellable. You Canadians must have some good gear?

Oh, I should also mention, in his diy enthusiasm, he had made a 9' opening with no header on the advice of his 'part time' builder mate. It was half finished and was the first thing I saw as I walked in. I looked up at the unexplainable hole in the ceiling and noticed two ceiling joists side by side, obviously joining over this particular wall. It was bang in line with the ridge and no other internal walls. I can only imagine what strutting beams/purlin supports etc are linked to this wall. Oh well. He's been warned.

On a funny note, his 8/9ish year old daughter's bedroom had a little deck off it. He wanted it boxed in and made into a walk in robe so boys couldn't climb in or her out. The window had to be small enough that she couldn't get through. I made a joke about it and he sarted mumbling about shotguns.:laughing: Happy I have a boy.


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## J L (Nov 16, 2009)

Are you sure you want to work for this guy? I already see a handful of red flags. Secondly, when you give him the proposal, be very vague about what you're using and how it's used. With the DIY types, many times they will take the info that you gave them and do it themselves.

For the windows - in areas of wood to wood contact we will use johnsons wood paste wax. For some of the other components, you can try an aerosol spray silicone, the dry type. 

It is possible to over "lube" a double hung window. Most times they rely on some of the friction to hold it in place. When they get too slick, the springs will pull the window open as soon as it's unlocked. If you get the job, after the 2nd or 3rd window you'll know exactly what needs to be done and the rest will be easy.


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## Kent Whitten (Mar 24, 2006)

He wants to make his daughters bedroom windows too small for a human to fit in or out of? She needs to have egress in case of a fire.

Spray silicone is the only thing I have used to unstick windows.


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## Hofmann (Jul 6, 2008)

Thought you guys were all in bed. 



RemodelGA said:


> Are you sure you want to work for this guy? I already see a handful of red flags. Secondly, when you give him the proposal, be very vague about what you're using and how it's used. With the DIY types, many times they will take the info that you gave them and do it themselves. I'm hearing ya, I'll be carefull on the details. My qualifying abilities are abysmal but he seems to be over it and justs wants it done.
> 
> For the windows - in areas of wood to wood contact we will use johnsons wood paste wax. For some of the other components, you can try an aerosol spray silicone, the dry type.
> 
> It is possible to over "lube" a double hung window. Most times they rely on some of the friction to hold it in place. When they get too slick, the springs will pull the window open as soon as it's unlocked. If you get the job, after the 2nd or 3rd window you'll know exactly what needs to be done and the rest will be easy.Great, and I will be carefull. There is some play side to side and they are jambing but I'm sure the wax will fix that.


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## Hofmann (Jul 6, 2008)

Well, she has one of the big double hung windows in her room but he has keyed locks on all the windows, all locked. He obviously bought them in sets of four because he had a box full of identical looking keys, it took us 5 minutes to get a window open to have a look. Totally forgot about fire, although I did try to explain to him that there was no need for them when he was home. I'll put this more strongly to him when I'm next there.


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## woodworkbykirk (Sep 17, 2008)

gotta love the crazy customers, we just wrapped on ajob like this, the lady drove every trade nuts, with changing her mind 5 times a day, be it wall locations, or bathroom fixtures.

she pulled this on the plumber by having him move all his pipes after he had just finished his rough in, he was pissed

needless to say we were about to walk then we finished the contract portion of the job, and didnt touch anything to do with anymore extras, we simply referred her to another contractor we dont exactly like :jester:


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## deckman22 (Oct 20, 2007)

I see they make 'em just as nutty down under. Good luck with that one.


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## loneframer (Feb 13, 2009)

Bees wax is a great lube for windows, sticky drawer glides, etc.

Last paragraph.:thumbsup:



http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Beeswax


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## WarnerConstInc. (Jan 30, 2008)

Jigaloo.


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## Leo G (May 12, 2005)

Don't use silicone spray on the windows. You will never get paint to flow out correctly again. Fisheye hell.


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## loneframer (Feb 13, 2009)

Leo G said:


> Don't use silicone spray on the windows. You will never get paint to flow out correctly again. Fisheye hell.


 Good point.:thumbsup:


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## Gus Dering (Oct 14, 2008)

How about Astro-glide? Makes things slide real good and is safe to the touch.





Maybe the boyfriend will show up with some.:laughing:







Thats just wrong, I know:no:


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## woodtradesman (Apr 23, 2008)

Get your mind out of the gutter Gus.


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## Hofmann (Jul 6, 2008)

Thanks guys. Bummer about the silicone spray, that sounded so easy. I'll head down the shop and see what they got.

The boyfriend thing keeps popping into my head and making me laugh. I imagine the ten year old Romeo down in the driveway. 'Juliet, juli... chk chk booom'


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## CliffBuilder (Aug 11, 2010)

Leo G said:


> Don't use silicone spray on the windows. You will never get paint to flow out correctly again. Fisheye hell.


-A-greed.

Also, just tell him you are going to install those pigeon spikes that they have on top of billboards for the boy trouble.


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