# Wife is already starting to complain



## rino1494 (Jan 31, 2006)

Well, work started to pick up again and we are back in full force. The past 2 days, I left at 6 AM and didn't get home till 8 PM. My old lady is already starting to complain and I am just getting started :laughing: 

Anybody else have this problem ??


----------



## firemike (Dec 11, 2005)

Welcome to the club!

One thing I figured out, you can't win. When things were slow around Christmas, whenever I sat around watching TV or working in the office, the wife would ask "Don't you have any job to go to today?" Then she would go shopping with her sister, or girlfriends, and wouldn't see her all day. :sad: 

Then as things picked up and I would come home at 3:00 or 4:00 in the afternoon, she would call me on her cell phone and ask "Why are you home so early?" "Done with work for the day" I would reply. "OK" she would say, "I be home from shopping in a few hours..."  

Now that the weather has broke and things are picking up, and I am getting home around 7:00 or 8:00pm, she is complaining that we never spend any time together.... Aaarrrrrgh!:wallbash:


----------



## Bob Kovacs (May 4, 2005)

rino1494 said:


> Well, work started to pick up again and we are back in full force. The past 2 days, I left at 6 AM and didn't get home till 8 PM. My old lady is already starting to complain and I am just getting started :laughing:
> 
> Anybody else have this problem ??


I guess the real question is "what's the problem?" Is it you working too many hours, or her not liking it? Personally, I don't see any reason why you should have to work those kind of hours- I don't work that much (not even close) and I run the estimating department for a $150 million/year GC (and not saying this to brag, but rather to put things into perspective, probably make twice what you're making with 1/2 the headaches). 

I'd take a long, hard look at what's causing the long days- is it the amount of work you have? If so, sounds like it's time to hire more people. Is it the demands of the client to get done in a hurry? If so, it's time to find more realistic clients. Or is it something else?

Bob


----------



## N.E.Bldg&Rest.LLC (Aug 18, 2005)

firemike said:


> Welcome to the club!
> 
> One thing I figured out, you can't win. When things were slow around Christmas, whenever I sat around watching TV or working in the office, the wife would ask "Don't you have any job to go to today?" Then she would go shopping with her sister, or girlfriends, and wouldn't see her all day. :sad:
> 
> ...


You have to knock some sence into her :hammer:


----------



## dayexco (Mar 4, 2006)

a GC, or SC (suitcase contractor)? rino may have twice the hours, twice the headaches, may or may not have half the pay.....but he's got one thing those in the office don't have. he gets to apply his art to his medium daily. he is able to drive by those projects later and tell his kids, grandkids that he was part of it. my family has been in the underground biz since 47. there are times when the hours do get bad. we do have customers who show no sympathy for weather slow downs, or for break downs, (we all hope they don't happen) i've missed a few ball games, a few school plays etc...i definitely didn't make a practice of it. my wife understands, and many times will bring me supper to the jobsite if it gets that late (she's a pretty good loader operator). my son is involved with my business now, and his wife is the same way as my wife. financing packages have become so tight on projects anymore, the owner needs to get his facility, project completed as soon as possible so it will start generating him some revenue. as far as hiring more people and just turn them loose? if rino is like me, he has an established reputation to maintain. we don't have redo's callbacks on our work. it may be different in other areas, but you just don't pull people off the street, throw them in the seat of a $160k excavator, $140k front end loader, 100k truck...and tell them to have at it. i will never be a large contractor, for the simple reason i like seeing every stick of pipe going into the ground. it's going to be my way, or no way.90% of our business is repeat or referred. from rino's prior postings, it appears his is also. that comes from putting in the time and effort to do the job properly, and getting it to the owner in the time frame you promised.


----------



## Bob Kovacs (May 4, 2005)

Day-

I agree with most of your points, and it's not so different from where I'm sitting in many ways. 

I''m where I am because I enjoy "applying my art to my medium daily"- I get to estimate, bid, and buy some of the most prestigious projects in the area, and get to watch them grow out of the ground as well- and I love bringing friends and family past my projects and being able to say "I was a part of that". I don't actually churn the earth, but I enjoy making my contribution to something tangible, just like you do.

And like you not being able to throw just anyone into a $150k machine, I also can't grab anyone off the street and put them in charge of bidding a $300 million high-rise condo project, or have them sit in front of an owner and justify an estimate- my company's losses could be far greater than the damage you could do in an out-of-control dozer in downtown Manhattan during rush hour.

And we often have to dig in and pull late nights to meet a committment as well- we just avoid making a habit out of it, and make sure the wives and significant others understand that it comes with the job.

The point I was trying to make is that Rino has several choices:

- Continue operating as he is, and get his wife to understand and accept it (not just "deal with it", but truly understand)
- Continue operating as he is, and replace the wife if she can't be made to accept it (not the best option I'm sure)
- Make some changes- hire more people, allow more time to get jobs done in less hours/day, find more reasonable clients, or all of those.

You say "I've got to be intimately involved in every piece of pipe that goes into the ground because my reputation is on the line", and that's great- more power to you if that's what you want to do. But as you've already admitted, that's going to create a set of conditions (lack of growth opportunity, limit on earning potential, long hours, etc), that has to be accepted by all those involved. Rino obviously doesn't have that acceptance level yet, so something's gotta give.

Bob


----------



## jmic (Dec 10, 2005)

If it means staying on a job site an hour or so to finish something important I'll stay late, but not going to make a habit out of it. Eight hours is enough for me. Don't get me wrong when push comes to shove if something needs to be completed by a deadline , it gets done.:thumbsup:


----------



## jmic (Dec 10, 2005)

Rino,
I'd just like to point out to you after reflecting about yesteryear, when I was probably your age growing my own business I worked 6-7 days a week 10-12 hr. days. It's a shame when you have young children though, you'll never be able to turn the clocks back and watch them grow and spend good quality time with them, and also your wife. But you do what you have to do.


----------



## Melissa (Feb 23, 2006)

Hope you don't mind me butting in here, but your post sounds like the story of our lives. We're always playing the balancing game between work, kids, time by ourselves, time with eachother, family, friends, work on the house, and so on. It drives us nuts! :no: 

We get tempted to take on more work to make extra money, but then it throws off the balance of everything. He gets tired, I get tired playing single mom, and both start feeling unapreciated. And it just turns into a big mess and takes weeks to recoup. 

So we either turn down the extra work, or both agree on it, and put a cap on it like 2 wks tops of working late and weekends.


----------



## bassmaster (Jan 29, 2006)

Kids first-:thumbsup: 

Fishing second-

Golfing third-

Wife Last  :laughing:


----------



## dayexco (Mar 4, 2006)

i am humbled to the fact that someone of your esteem would lower himself to waste his time bantering back and forth with a bunch of small time development contractors.


----------



## bassmaster (Jan 29, 2006)

dayexco said:


> i am humbled to the fact that someone of your esteem would lower himself to waste his time bantering back and forth with a bunch of small time development contractors.



???????????????????


----------



## rino1494 (Jan 31, 2006)

dayexco said:


> a GC, or SC (suitcase contractor)? rino may have twice the hours, twice the headaches, may or may not have half the pay.....but he's got one thing those in the office don't have. he gets to apply his art to his medium daily. he is able to drive by those projects later and tell his kids, grandkids that he was part of it. my family has been in the underground biz since 47. there are times when the hours do get bad. we do have customers who show no sympathy for weather slow downs, or for break downs, (we all hope they don't happen) i've missed a few ball games, a few school plays etc...i definitely didn't make a practice of it. my wife understands, and many times will bring me supper to the jobsite if it gets that late (she's a pretty good loader operator). my son is involved with my business now, and his wife is the same way as my wife. financing packages have become so tight on projects anymore, the owner needs to get his facility, project completed as soon as possible so it will start generating him some revenue. as far as hiring more people and just turn them loose? if rino is like me, he has an established reputation to maintain. we don't have redo's callbacks on our work. it may be different in other areas, but you just don't pull people off the street, throw them in the seat of a $160k excavator, $140k front end loader, 100k truck...and tell them to have at it. i will never be a large contractor, for the simple reason i like seeing every stick of pipe going into the ground. it's going to be my way, or no way.90% of our business is repeat or referred. from rino's prior postings, it appears his is also. that comes from putting in the time and effort to do the job properly, and getting it to the owner in the time frame you promised.


Spoken from a man who knows. 90% of our business is repeat customers also. We rarelyr take on extra work. When people pay and pay good, you have to treat them good and do their work. We usually put in 9 hrs a day, but when things have to get done, we stay late. There are many times when I have to throw the lights on the machines to finish up because the mason is coming tomorow and we have to get to another job. As far as hiring another person, dayexco is right, there are not too many people out there that you can trust to run your equipment. I have seen alot of operators in my short time in the business and there are very few that I would hire. IMO.....the more people you hire, the more headaches you will have. Stay small and do what you can do, even if that means working late and on sundays.


----------



## Bob Kovacs (May 4, 2005)

dayexco said:


> i am humbled to the fact that someone of your esteem would lower himself to waste his time bantering back and forth with a bunch of small time development contractors.


Spoken like a true small time contractor (your term- not mine)- thinks he knows it all, not willing to listen to what others may have to offer.

I've never said I had any greater esteem than anyone else around here- I do, however, have the ability to offer some advice from a different perspective than what you or some of the other posters may have- not because I'm "better" or anything, just in a different situation. Rino started the thread, I assumed looking for advice or ideas on what to do- I assumed that we wasn't looking for a bunch of guys to just jump in saying "yup, uh-huh- I hear what yer sayin' dude.....". 

If you're happy laying every piece of pipe yourself because you think that's the only way that a utility contractor can possibly keep control of his business then have fun- you'll most likely retire tired and broke (but hopefully happy). Of course there are plenty of contractors out there doing millions of dollars a year in business, with hundreds of pieces of iron (and many smaller, successful multi-person operations as well) who would beg to differ. Any advice I might offer is falling on deaf ears if you've already decided that your way is the only way, though.

I guess I'll just head back to my ivory tower now.

Bob


----------



## dayexco (Mar 4, 2006)

yup, tired and broke. but no, continue to enlighten me...white shirts and ties teach me something everyday


----------



## denick (Feb 13, 2006)

Rino,

To answer your original question,

My old lady is already starting to complain and I am just getting started Anybody else have this problem ??

Not yet, and probably not for a while. 

In reference to the question of working long hours and seven days a week that has risen. I make this observation. 

As a businessman you have accepted responsibilities to; employees, customers, vendors, banks, finance companies and others, these are things that are contractual in nature. And that is the extent you are responsible.

As a man you are a son, husband, father, citizen and others, these things are indelible to your being. Requiring you to provide, lead, teach, protect, share, serve and love. The extent you will hold yourself responsible ______ ?. You fill in the blank.

I offer my opinion. The opinion of someone who has never acheived "Success" as either the above.

Work as long and hard as you have to, to fulfill all your responsibilities.

Be aware of how others view your long hours at work. To many it can look like a he-man woman haters meeting, all fun and games.

The better you are as a man the better you'll be as a businessman.

Working hard is tiring, working smart is hard.

The right way is always the hard way.

Stop everything to do with work no matter what by 6 PM Saturday and don’t pick it up again until 9 PM Sunday or Monday morning. Consciously force yourself to do this for a couple of weeks it will be awful hard to do.

I am third generation in this business in this country. I have seen many economic ups and downs. The seasonal slow and busy times have been a part of my whole life. And my wife and kids lives. I have buried two generations of good men who worked this business. What they told me in the last days of their lives could fill this forums memory on what was right and wrong on this subject. But not one said I should have WORKED MORE. 

Rino replied to my thread “Tool” about “the most important tool” with his answer “My Hands”. Hands don’t even quiver without input from your brain. Think about what work you should be applying your hands to, before you go to work. Then work untill your exhausted.

Nick


----------



## denick (Feb 13, 2006)

Oops


----------

