# Crazy, wacky and just plain dumb late/no-show excuces.



## Warren (Feb 19, 2005)

Years ago, I walked out to my truck in the morning and it wouldn't start. I took a cab to work that day. I caught a lot of grief from my coworkers, but I am sure I earned a lot of brownie points with the boss.


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## Jaws (Dec 20, 2010)

MTN REMODEL LLC said:


> Not actually a real excuse, as my boss and I were very good/ respectfull friends, but I called in one day with the excuse.....
> 
> "Tell the boss that I just feel too good to come in today."


My eye hurts. I cant see coming in :laughing:


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## tedanderson (May 19, 2010)

480sparky said:


> Paper was an eviction notice, and he needed to go out and make money to pay his rent.


He probably had to go begging, borrowing, and selling everything he owned to get the rent money together. When you are 3 months behind and 2 days away from eviction, a partial payment isn't going to save you. 

Along those lines, my cousin used FLMA as his excuse not to go to work when he got evicted. He wasn't working for me but I allowed him to crash at my place while he regrouped. So once he got settled, I figured that he would be going to work the next day or so.. and after a couple of days I would come home for lunch and find that he was still sitting in front of the TV.  He said, "I'm going to be out of work for a couple of weeks. My FLMA case worker said that I don't back until the 19th." :blink:

I asked, "So....is your job is paying you for this time off?" He said, "Oh no.. it's just that FLMA allows you 3 weeks of unpaid leave so I want to take full advantage of it.":blink:


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## J.C. (Sep 28, 2009)

My cousin was out of work so I had him come and work for me. He worked the first day and said he had an interview he had to go to the next morning so he was going to be a couple hours late. He calls me the next day to tell me he wasn't going to be able to make it because they had him go for a drug test and he wasn't able to pee. :laughing:


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## Youngin' (Sep 16, 2012)

I had this boss years back that had a short temper. The guy went off on me when I gave a painter a clean rag to use. Oddly enough he gave me a letter of recommendation when I quit. Anyway one of the other laborers always showed up late. One day the boss was on site when he showed up a half hour late holding a coffee. The boss lost it on him and the laborer says "The line up at the coffee shop was long so I was late!" He was firm and absolutely convinced that was a valid reason. The boss went red and reached never before seen levels of anger. I think the room temperature went up. I thought he was going to hulk smash the guy.


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## CarpenterSFO (Dec 12, 2012)

I had a tweeker work for me for a day once. The rest of the week he called in with excuses about his brother having a flat tire, and so on. I played along and the next day I'd ask him if his brother was OK, how his grandma's funeral was, and so on. He had no idea why I was asking him those questions. At the end of the week I tracked down his wife so I could give him his pay for the one day; she laughed and said I was best rid of him, that he was in jail anyway and wasn't likely to get out for a while.


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## Pearce Services (Nov 21, 2005)

I was at a supply house when one of their employees called in to say he would be 3 hours late, he is on the highway, a plane crash landed in front if him, and he is trapped behind the plane waiting for it to be moved. Nothing on the news about it at all.


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## CarpenterSFO (Dec 12, 2012)

I always found that guys who'd been out drinking the night before didn't come up with the same sorts of crazy excuses as the crackheads and tweakers.


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## Okiecontractor (Oct 15, 2012)

I had a guy text me around 10 one morning. He said sorry I just text. I'm not going to make it in today, my step dad and I stayed up til 330 playing play station and I'm wore out.

Another guy no showed and the next day he showed up and said sorry I didnt make it yesterday, my girlfriend showed up at 6 am and took the car from me(she bought it for him). I asked him why he couldn't drive his truck. He said because he wanted to go look for another car to replace his......


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## Pearce Services (Nov 21, 2005)

I had one that I still do not understand...

A guy worked for me for about a year, was a fair to good worker, on 3 different occasions, he called in sick on the same day of the week and at the same exact time, Wednesday morning at 2:30AM, each time he sounded lucid. He didn't do the fake sick voice they all have perfected, just said he was not feeling good and wanted to give me as much notice as possible.

I thought maybe he was moonlighting at a bar or something, but he said no, and when I called him on random calls on Tuesday evenings, he would answer and there was no bar noise in the background. 

I could never figure that one out


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## Sabagley (Dec 31, 2012)

I had a kid that was consistently 10-20 minutes late. He was summer help. I tried to explain that when he got a job in the real world he wouldn't go very far showing up late everyday. 

After another week of being late, he came up to show me his time card. He was excited because he was "early". 

He punched in at 5:58. We started at 6:00. 

Some people just don't get it.


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## blacktop (Oct 28, 2012)

I gotta go man !!! My girlfriend just called ...Her moms was fishing off the dock and her wooden leg fell off into the lake!! I half to go fish it out for her!..

I swear to ya! That's what he told me...:laughing: What's messed up is he didn't call me ,He drove to the job site to tell me this ..:blink:


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## blacktop (Oct 28, 2012)

Pearce Services said:


> I was at a supply house when one of their employees called in to say he would be 3 hours late, he is on the highway, a plane crash landed in front if him, and he is trapped behind the plane waiting for it to be moved. Nothing on the news about it at all.


That's good!


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## Pearce Services (Nov 21, 2005)

blacktop said:


> That's good!


The wooden leg story is much better. It painted a visual in my head, too funny!


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## Jaws (Dec 20, 2010)

When I was a super, had a dude call and leave a voice mail at my desk that he wasn't going to make it. He met some "hide" and she kept him all night, no way I can make it in much less be worth anything. ...

First and last time he didnt show. I laughed my head off and never brought it up. Dude was a hoss of a hand. 

By far the best excuse for a single dude, especially if their boss ever had an after hours life. 
Only good once though. Lol


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## blacktop (Oct 28, 2012)

MTN REMODEL LLC said:


> Edit: Which reminds me, and I will start a new thread, as a GC, do you tip the crew that shows up and does a fully respectable job, or beyond. I'm talking about the crew, painters, Dw'wallers, maybe any party that is an emplyee and not a principal.I do often, not 100% but 20 dollar bills to say thankyou and get a beer.


I handed an H/O an invoice 2 weeks ago for 6k He handed me 7k. I got pissed ! I said no!!!! That's crazy man ,,,I can't take that!! He said yes you will!!! 

He was a commercial mason .. He said you didn't charge enough for what you had to deal with here . [ I did cut myself short on that one:whistling]


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## Okiecontractor (Oct 15, 2012)

blacktop said:


> I handed an H/O an invoice 2 weeks ago for 6k He handed me 7k. I got pissed ! I said no!!!! That's crazy man ,,,I can't take that!! He said yes you will!!!
> 
> He was a commercial mason .. He said you didn't charge enough for what you had to deal with here . [ I did cut myself short on that one:whistling]


Roofed a house for a guy once. Come time to pay I give him the final invoice. He says I put a little extra on it, just divide it up between the guys. I said ok thanks. I look at the check after he leaves, it was 20 bucks, for 5 guys not including myself. Not that they didnt appreciate it but it was only 4 bucks each.


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## Jaws (Dec 20, 2010)

Okiecontractor said:


> Roofed a house for a guy once. Come time to pay I give him the final invoice. He says I put a little extra on it, just divide it up between the guys. I said ok thanks. I look at the check after he leaves, it was 20 bucks, for 5 guys not including myself. Not that they didnt appreciate it but it was only 4 bucks each.


I get your point, but its 4 dollars they didnt have :whistling

Maybe it was a lot for him to spare.


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## Okiecontractor (Oct 15, 2012)

Jaws said:


> I get your point, but its 4 dollars they didnt have :whistling
> 
> Maybe it was a lot for him to spare.


Thats true I guess.


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## Jaws (Dec 20, 2010)

Not saying it is a good tip, though. I can imagine your crews face. Lol. Almoat like leaving a waitress a dime. 

Should of just said "check it out, guys. That dude bought yall a case of beer" . Lol


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## tedanderson (May 19, 2010)

I don't know if you guys have dealt with this in your business or on the job but in my area, it's very common for people to be very passionate about their sports teams. They call in sick every time their team loses.

They will talk trash all week and then when game day comes around they'll either be too embarrassed to come to work the next day or they'll be so upset over the loss that they just can't function.


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## Okiecontractor (Oct 15, 2012)

Too bad I didn't think of that. They definitely would have appreciated that more.


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## blacktop (Oct 28, 2012)

This thread reminds me of the time ....I was 17 or 18 ? 
Stayed out all night partying When I pulled up the drive at 7am The ole man was loading the truck ..He said GET IN THE TRUCK!...We got 110 sheets to hang today!!.I said ...Naw man! I can't !! Dad said ..GET IN THE  TRUCK!! I will never forget that day !! :no::no:


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## Morning Wood (Jan 12, 2008)

I did landscaping my summer out of high school. Boss gave me a whopping .50 raise one day. Literally the next day I slept through my alarm. I found the mowing crew on their route about 1.5 hours late to work. It worked out.


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## caldoconsal (Jan 9, 2014)

EmmCeeDee said:


> "I crapped my pants"
> 
> A guy I used to work with called in from the car saying he had just done that. There were no further questions. Never trust a fart.
> 
> You only get to use that excuse once.


just once? second time show up anyway?


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## caldoconsal (Jan 9, 2014)

for two years i showed up to work 30/45 min early. sometimes even an hour i would pack a lunch and eat breakfast ..... one day even the HO ex Marine /retired cop came out early  looked at me in the car "what you doing here" ..... mouth full .."breakfast" 
:laughing:Ok ... see you in an Hour . boss was often late .. so i said  started showing up late made it a bad habbit 

i would always show up late after that boss was mad threatened to take of time hour ect ect . 
never gave an excuse why you late? woke up late
after three months quit trying .... i was always late

but i would always work late and after everyone was gone id be putting tools away chance of rain putting plastic on and so on

so when boss would yell "your late again i should deduct double the time" ....... O yea i work late alot you going to pay me for that time?
End of conversation 
never was good at making excuses and dint think i need to:whistling


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## caldoconsal (Jan 9, 2014)

tedanderson said:


> I don't know if you guys have dealt with this in your business or on the job but in my area, it's very common for people to be very passionate about their sports teams. They call in sick every time their team loses.
> 
> They will talk trash all week and then when game day comes around they'll either be too embarrassed to come to work the next day or they'll be so upset over the loss that they just can't function.


during the world cup i would joke : hey were all gona be sick on this day (the day either the US or Mexico plays) 

if it was the US i would say: but we can meet at your place while we get better ..... you have a good TV :jester:


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## heavy_d (Dec 4, 2012)

caldoconsal said:


> for two years i showed up to work 30/45 min early. sometimes even an hour i would pack a lunch and eat breakfast ..... one day even the HO ex Marine /retired cop came out early  looked at me in the car "what you doing here" ..... mouth full .."breakfast"
> :laughing:Ok ... see you in an Hour . boss was often late .. so i said  started showing up late made it a bad habbit
> 
> i would always show up late after that boss was mad threatened to take of time hour ect ect .
> ...


Even if your boss is late you should keep your personal motivation to be early.


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## FramingPro (Jan 31, 2010)

I have early anxiety as i call it.
If i am not 30 min - 1hr early to work or to anything i feel late.
If the weather is nice and the neighbourhood permits i might be 1 1/2 to 2 hours early.
The insurance adjuster even asked me "why the hell were you there so early the day the trailer was taken.." (1 1/2 hours before we started)
I had to explain that i have nothing better to do and i have "early anxiety" :laughing:
Life throws curve balls so the occasional late is tolerable.. i only really really disapprove when it is A a stupid reason, or when the the tardiness jeopardizes our progress/ success like on a busy concrete pour day.


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## Warren (Feb 19, 2005)

FramingPro said:


> I have early anxiety as i call it.
> If i am not 30 min - 1hr early to work or to anything i feel late.
> If the weather is nice and the neighbourhood permits i might be 1 1/2 to 2 hours early.
> The insurance adjuster even asked me "why the hell were you there so early the day the trailer was taken.." (1 1/2 hours before we started)
> ...


I am similar, although not as extreme. Generally I shoot for 1/2 hour early. Nice to finish the cup of coffee, plan the day, clean out my pouches, etc. I would hate to show up at the exact start time and have to spring into immediate action.


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## FramingPro (Jan 31, 2010)

Depending on which site i am at, i might do a walk through to figure out what needs to be done, and where each of the guys would be most productive.


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## smalpierre (Jan 19, 2011)

This week I heard a new one. I called a guy I'm working with who was supposed to be at my house at 7 - it's now 7:30; where are you? "I'm at Bryants, got some breakfast - on my way." 9:30 he shows up, and when I asked him where he was: "I've been up since FIVE O'CLOCK this morning!!!" What??? Got up at 5, at bryants by 6:30 - THREE HOURS to eat breakfast???


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## EmmCeeDee (May 23, 2010)

caldoconsal said:


> just once? second time show up anyway?


I hope not!

I guess you could use that excuse frequently, but then you would be known as the guy who is always crapping his pants. 

Now that I think about it, the same thing will happen if you use that excuse only one time.

Heck, the guy I used to work with only used it once and everyone knew about it. So yeah, "I crapped my pants" could work more than once.


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## smalpierre (Jan 19, 2011)

about 10 years ago I was a flooring sub, gluing an engineered floor down in this lady's house that had an insane amount of HEAVY furniture jam packed in her house. So my guy called me one day, and said "I'm just so pissed off at my girlfriend, I just can't come to work today I'll just end up messing something up." Yeahhhh ok buddy! About 2 hours later, I get another call: "I think I'll be alright, I don't want to leave you hanging". I told him to stay home. I was glad I had enough moved to work by myself that day, and the next day I had another guy.

Not sure what the guys issue was, he was a great worker, always a smile on his face, happy to be working. I think he was having substance abuse issues.


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## caldoconsal (Jan 9, 2014)

One time i called my boss i have Diarrhea .... Yea sure Ok.

On a seperate ocassion i went to work but first 30 min i was in the toilet .... He says why dint u stay home ?
Im trying to save on toilet paper


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## caldoconsal (Jan 9, 2014)

heavy_d said:


> Even if your boss is late you should keep your personal motivation to be early.


I know ... And it was a hard habbit to break


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## Roofcheck (Dec 27, 2011)

tedanderson said:


> I don't know if you guys have dealt with this in your business or on the job but in my area, it's very common for people to be very passionate about their sports teams. They call in sick every time their team loses.
> 
> They will talk trash all week and then when game day comes around they'll either be too embarrassed to come to work the next day or they'll be so upset over the loss that they just can't function.


True- but here it's NASCAR. When Dale died guys lost the whole week.


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## Roofcheck (Dec 27, 2011)

Warren said:


> I am similar, although not as extreme. Generally I shoot for 1/2 hour early. Nice to finish the cup of coffee, plan the day, clean out my pouches, etc. I would hate to show up at the exact start time and have to spring into immediate action.


When I do that everyone else is late and it ruins my morning. My whole day is ruined. I now make material runs and purposely get there 30 minutes later. 

Aside from the rolling in late I go crazy watching the sluggish movement in the first fifteen minutes. 

Gary the snail is ones nickname.


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