# Dumb employee stories ?



## strathd (Jan 12, 2009)

Anyone have any dumb employee stories ? I've got a doozy.
I'll post after I see what comes up.


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## Heritage (Mar 20, 2007)

If he's making me money and doing quality work he's not dumb.

If he's not making me money or not doing quality work he's dumb.

I forgive all else.

That doesn't really answer your question does it?


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## jciotti7 (Feb 10, 2009)

Had a guy come to work with a hangover while we were building a block foundation. Well he got sick on the scaffold and his false teeth ended up 6 courses down inside the block. Quess how he spent the afternoon?


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## Forry (Feb 12, 2007)

Kinda dumb. I was making a surprise visit to a job site, fifth floor office. Elevator door opened to two of my employees in the elevator talking sh!t about me. Talk about surprise! I wasn't surprised, but they were. I left and they didn't last long.


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## bwalley (Jan 7, 2009)

strathd said:


> Anyone have any dumb employee stories ? I've got a doozy.
> I'll post after I see what comes up.


This is going to be a long thread.


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## atnas (Jan 22, 2009)

Had a young worker once check to see if the forklift gas tank was full with a Bic lighter!  Luckily another worker was close and swatted the lighter away from the tank.


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## Nail It (Feb 19, 2009)

New guy here, post #1, looks like a great thread to begin posting

Lets see, where do I begin.

Could it be the time when a two year employee filled the hydraulic tank on my NEW Case skid loader with diesel.

Or the time when my veteran lead man loaded a skid loader on a trailer, without first checking to see if the trailer was secured on the ball. It wouldn't have been too bad if the truck/trailer wasn't pointing down hill.

Or the time when I was being nice to a newish employee and said "sure you can take one of the trucks for the night so you can move to another apartment" He dropped it off Saturday morning, I asked how the move went, he said everything went just fine. I walked around the truck later after he'd left, the whole drivers side of the truck was smashed in. 

Or the time..........

I could go on and on, employees are great!:whistling


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## jcalvin (Feb 1, 2008)

Nail It said:


> Or the time when my veteran lead man loaded a skid loader on a trailer, without first checking to see if the trailer was secured on the ball. It wouldn't have been too bad if the truck/trailer wasn't pointing down hill.


I have a similar one. Loading up a tractor on a trailer, ball secured well, emergency brake set, and truck pointing downhill also. Problem is, on a long trailer, the wheels act similar to the fulcrum on a seesaw. Everybody has rode a seesaw. Only when your ball is secured well, the back of the trailer goes down so the fulcrum (wheels) transfer the motion making the front of the trailer go up. Fun isn't this!!! Remember the ball is secured and the front of the trailer is heading up and so does the back end of the truck. :no:Everyone knows the parking brakes on a truck on the back tires and when they are in the air, there is nothing to keep the truck still since it is pointing down the hill. The next thing was lots of screaming, running, dodging, and ducking. Can't remember who did what except for when everything was still and calm again, everyone was standing around shaking white faced and bug eyed with the tractor on the truck with nothing bent broke or other wise damaged. 

We called it a day.


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## woodworkbykirk (Sep 17, 2008)

nearly got fired for coming up with an idea that the client absolutely loved, boss was pissed he didnt think of it


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## loneframer (Feb 13, 2009)

Had a guy one time who went with me at lunch time to get some 12' 2x4s. Had to park on other side of street from site. He got halfway across the road, remembered his smokes, and turned around took several strides and walked dead into the end of the stack. Left about a 2" gash on his cheek. Damn cigarettes.


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## dubz (Sep 8, 2008)

atnas said:


> Had a young worker once check to see if the forklift gas tank was full with a Bic lighter!  Luckily another worker was close and swatted the lighter away from the tank.



never mind. can't get vid to embed.


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## EPD (Jun 23, 2008)

woodworkbykirk said:


> nearly got fired for coming up with an idea that the client absolutely loved, boss was pissed he didnt think of it


id imagine your idea cost your boss money, 

i was using my cordless paslode doing backers in a bathroom and i keep hearing, let me try it ... "never used a nail gun before 25 year old" 
i turn around for a split second to grab whatever i was grabbing and i hear bam and "yelp" sure enough he shot two fingers together

classic! told him where to find the electrical tape....


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## woodbutchr (Jul 31, 2007)

We were doing some concrete forming one day & I had this high school kid screwing down the plywood & he had problems getting the screw to start (WTH)

I told him to spit on the screw & they would go in better. He laughed at me & said something like you're full of chit or something.

Anyway, I walked off & looked back after gettin' about 75 yards from him & guess what he was doing?

LOL, spitin' on the screws!!

This same kid also stuck a hoe in the mixer while it was running! I need not say any more about what happened there.
He was an easy one to send after the board strechers & shy hooks.


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## BreyerConstruct (May 22, 2006)

instead of buying 12 - 2x4x8's they bought 8 2x4x12's...
(Wonder why they're so long???)

Just finished up raining, and they get to the jobsite to meet the delivery driver, on a job we've sat them down to clearly explain that the HO is high strung (engineer) and extra care must be taken...

So my guys convince (against his wishes- I checked) the delivery driver to drive across the yard with the materials.

Mind you, we just finished telling them to be careful, and we sent extra guys along to help hand walk the materials, and plywood to create a walkway across the yard.

This then leads us into a fun story about inspectors... but I think that one is already in another thread!
~Matt


Or the time several of your guys try to do a job they can't handle, that falls in your company's abilities and area, they operate without a license or insurance, and call you up for advice... Oh yea, that non-compete they signed??? ~Sigh~


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## firemike (Dec 11, 2005)

Hired a younger guy that said he had lots of experiance on a skidsteer. Installing 15" storm sewer, about an hour and a half into the day he backed it into the trench. Well. no one got hurt, he had his mistake and let it go at that. Got the hoe and lifted it back on the wheels and got it going again, less that 15 minutes later he backed it into the same trench. Adios Skippy!


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## Warren (Feb 19, 2005)

Hired a kid fresh out of high school. First thing I have him do is move a stack of precuts.Upon explaining where I want them. he pipes up with "Ya know,if we all carried them it would get done faster. OK, strike one. Later in the day Im sticking in part of the roof and I get this feeling somebody is watchin me. Yep, kid leaning out window smokin a cig and staring.I ask him if he finished with the hurricane clips he was doin and he says, Nah, Im gonna finish em tomorrow. Mind you its still about 45 minutes until quitting time. He got two strikes with that one.He never got to finish them hurricane clips.


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## dubz (Sep 8, 2008)

Last spring I get to the job and see a set of my pretty new folding metal horses are crumpled in the woods. They were the good steel ones with adjustable legs too, not the cheap tin things. My guy stacked rafter stock on them until they folded apparently. 

Last fall, I went over a shower mud job pour, and the need to leave enough room for tile thickness when the drain is all the way un-threaded. We don't do much tile ourselves, but the same guy poured it too thick a few years ago and it was a problem. 

Afterward, I asked him if he left enough and he said yes. We struggle through the tile work (which I should have subbed anyway) and of, course when we are ready to do the floor, I go to unscrew it, and it's out of thread.


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## maverick17 (Sep 15, 2006)

The only real "dumb employee" story was more of a "lazy employee" story, like some of the others.

We had started early and it was around 4pm. Louie wanted to call it a day, I told him we were close to done, why have to come back tomorrow. It was a weekday so I know he had nothing else better to do, (not that he did on the weekend) but he said his "brain was fried" and he would wait for me in the truck.

What am I supposed to do then? Take the ***** home, cry, yell, or just finish the job. It took me about 3-4 more hours, and when I came out, he was laying in the back of the bed with his shirt as a pillow. I told him I was done, and he should help me get my tools, he just grumbled like I used to when my mom would wake me up for school in the third grade.

I got my stuff, and we left. He made some joke about how rough his day was, I didnt laugh, just said, "make sure you put your hours in," As a joke back to him.

I had him putting his hours on a google apps spreadsheet, so I could forward it to my payroll company.

I see his hours for the day... He was fired that evening.


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## dirt diggler (May 14, 2006)

I had this one guy and we were forming (for concrete)

He was terrible at math and got a measurement wrong.


I said (kinda tired and pissy) "what is one quarter inch plus one quarter inch?"


he said "two quarter inches"



:laughing::laughing: 


I actually needed a laugh that day


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## loneframer (Feb 13, 2009)

I just remembered a new guy named Kevin, we sent him to the lumberyard to get some 44D hooter clips.:blink: When they said they didn't have any, he started asking contractors in the parking lot where to get them.:no: The guys at the yard got so used to us sending in the new guys for stuff like this, they would play along for the laugh.


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## ajbackhoe (Nov 26, 2006)

*Demo Saw*

I just rebuilt my diamond blade demo saw, new cylinder, piston and rings. Thing ran like brand new. 
My guy chose the gas can that didn't saw two stroke mix. You know what happened next.


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## loneframer (Feb 13, 2009)

ajbackhoe said:


> I just rebuilt my diamond blade demo saw, new cylinder, piston and rings. Thing ran like brand new.
> My guy chose the gas can that didn't saw two stroke mix. You know what happened next.


 I'm guessing he got a two stroke enima?:laughing:


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## strathd (Jan 12, 2009)

Hired a friend of mine's son as a laborer. Told him to start scraping the stickers off the windows. This was back when you had to scrape them off with a razor blade. I gave him some blades and go in another room to run trim. The blades I gave him were the kind you see in body shops. They have a knurled edge for a handle and a cardboard wrap on the blade.

An hour and a half later I decide to check on him and he's on the second window. So, I decide to watch him and see what the problem is. Did'nt take long. Jake let me see the blade. He hands it to me and I pull the cardboard wrap off the blade. He says DAAAAAMN no wonder it was taking me so long. He was holding the blade side and scraping with the knurled edge ! I dont know how he kept from cutting himself.

A few years later he comes over to my house says he just got back from tennessee. Been doing log homes down there. So we go down to the basement to shoot a game of pool and shoot the s***. I was doing a log home at the time, I think to myself maybe this kid has came around. He breaks I take a shot and scratch. As we're talking he places the cue ball at the wrong end of the table. Nah........ some things never change.


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## bwalley (Jan 7, 2009)

ajbackhoe said:


> I just rebuilt my diamond blade demo saw, new cylinder, piston and rings. Thing ran like brand new.
> My guy chose the gas can that didn't saw two stroke mix. You know what happened next.


I clearly mark all of my cans for pre mix and do not allow any non mixed gas out when using a 2 stroke, many times I won't even have regular gas on the job at all, as I have used mixed gas in a 4 stroke with no problems.


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## jamestrd (Oct 26, 2008)

I had one guy worked for me for a few years..he was a train wreck...very loyal, but a black cloud of stupidy loomed over his head.

one time, he was walking through a kitchen, said hello to the homeowner and as he was walking by the kit cabinets, his carpenter pants hammer loop caught a knob of a cabinet door and he ripped it right off.

same kid decided he wanted to do pull ups on casing molding around a doorway and ripped it right off the wall..

heres a real good one..long time back, my old boss was carrying up a large 5 gallon pail of poly up a set of circular steps..the wheels of the container caungt a nosing and he dumped the full pail over the steps,,,ran like a river down into the foyer all over the marble..

know anohter guy who decided to coat with moisutre cure poly with no respirator..passed out face first in ther finish....lol


i got a ton of em


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## strathd (Jan 12, 2009)

I had a guy come in late to work, took a 1 hr. 15 min. lunch on a 1/2 hr. lunch break, wanted to go home early and ask for a raise in the same day!


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## bwalley (Jan 7, 2009)

I had a guy who I hired because a Pastor friend of mine wanted me to put him to work, later I found out he was a heroin addict.

So i started calling crackhead Bill.

We were carrying in a piece of 1/2" tempred glass and he let a corner drop and it caused it to explode, he then sisaid he had a hard time breathing because of the fumes.

I told him a solid piece of tempered glass does not have any fumes, then I asked him, you have no proplem shooting heroin into your veins, but a piece of glass breaks, now you have a hard time breathing?

He eventually started showing up to work late and leaving early, even though I was giving him keep busy work, so I told Pastor Scott about it, he said he would let Bill know I had a problem with him leaving early all the time, I told Scott I didn't have a problem with him leaving early, I had a problem with him coming back.

A few eeks later I saw Bill on the side of the road with a Will Work for Food sign.

Months later I was talking to Pastor Scott, he said Bill had relapsed and stole a bunch of his stuff.

No good deed goes unpunished.


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## Aggie67 (Aug 28, 2008)

We're in this monster one story building, 300,000 square feet. Engineer called for 32 HVAC units mounted up on the roof, and we had to reinforce the curbs with W14's, girder to girder. So 32 spots, 4 W14's each spot, plus some 10 inch channel to frame out the opening. We get through the first 16 spots just fine. We hire a new kid as a helper, relative of one of the senior foremen. Foreman convinces me the kid went to 2 years of college, is a draftsman, can take the load off me, self sufficient, can give instruction to the guys cutting the steel, blah, blah, blah. Man was that a mistake. I give him the structural plan view drawing, and the steel shop drawings (what we needed to cut them to and where the holes go, clip sizes, etc), explain what a kerf is and show him how to confirm the girder to girder dimension, he tells me he's got it. The kid somehow mixes up the girder center to centers on the plan drawing with the beam cut lengths on the shop drawing, and subtracts the girder flange widths and kerfs from the shop drawing dimension. A whole bunch of completely unnecessary math. He ends up marking 64 beams TOO SHORT. Luckily we caught the mistake 6 beams into the abortion, when the erecting crew (couldn't bring myself to type "erection crew") slings the first beam up and it's almost 2 feet short.

I tear into the kid, take the drawings, and we end up having to repair 6 beams. Cost me 20 man hours and another length of W14. That foreman told me the kid cried for a half hour in his car. Sure he meant well, I guess, but cripes. Don't sell me on your skills, and then cry when you eff up and I tear you a knew one. I gave the kid an older edition of the AISC LRFD manual, and told him "Everyone at some point has a monumental screw up, and they learn from it. Hopefully, you will never screw up a measurement again."

He ended being an average employee, as long as we kept him away from the drawings. But a few years later he tried to pull the old "um, I got a better offer and I'm quitting, but I'll stay if you can match it." We had heard through the grapevine that he was going to pull it. So we said "mmm, sorry we can't, but we wish you luck." He was on unemployment for 5 months. 

Miscalculation must be in his DNA.


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## wirenut1110 (Apr 24, 2008)

We were wiring a friend's garage, finished for the day, went back to the shop, employees disperse, friend calls later that evening and says "was my dog here when y'all were here"? I said yeah, he says"he's not now".

Couple days goes by and my friend asks where "x" employee lives, goes and "stakes out" his house, and low and behold, here he comes out the front door with the dog.

Friend gets his dog back, I called the guy and said that he no longer worked here. He shows up the next morning and I say " What are you doing here, I told you no longer work here" He says "WHY"? I was like " YOU STOLE MY F'N CUSTOMER"S DOG:furious:" He goes " I didn't steal it, when I was on my way home I saw the dog wandering around so I took it home so it would be safe":clap:


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## 22rifle (Apr 23, 2008)

Well, one of my friends caught his employee in a compromising position with the customer's dog.


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## Wolfgang (Nov 16, 2008)

My first year of painting I was working for a guy who had a maintenance contract for a University Med Center. They owned a bunch of houses that the students could live in. I finish my job and the boss is taking me over to help the other FNG on his. We walk into the house and hear the guy talking a mile a minute, we walk upstairs into the room and the guy is standing there butt naked talking to his roller. Seriously, the guy had a complete mental breakdown. I would see him as a patient on their Psych Ward for the next couple of months while I was still learning the trade. 

And of course the rag soaked in paint thinner tucked in the pocket was seen so many times.


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## Mrmac204 (Dec 27, 2006)

workin on a large concrete home last summer- one of those gawd awful designer things, with a whole lotta walls that were going to be floor to ceiling glass, sorta like a commercial building. Anyway I needed to shim down at the top where the glass would go cause the height was "variable" and needed to be within a certain spec. (HO kept changing his mind on the glass etc so I don't really blame the concrete guys) so I have my builders level, found the 5' elevation line (marked through out the whole structure) then got my helper. told him, hold the tape measure up to the ceiling real steady, and I will read the elevation... well I go back to the builders level, look thru the lens.... ??? can't see the tape! huh?? I look over top- where is he?? I says (name omited) where are you? then I hear his voice from over at the side, he's down on his knees in front of the table saw- He says "wow come and look at this huge spider!" sigh......
he wasn't workin for me directly so all I could do was "encourage" him back to the project at hand.
this is the kid who showed up at the company picnic with his hair in "spikes" he'd used carpenters glue to hold the hair in place!!!!!
next day he was bald, he couldn't get the glue out! LOL

he's real good at takin out the garbage though!


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## JumboJack (Aug 14, 2007)

22rifle said:


> Well, one of my friends caught his employee in a compromising position with the customer's dog.



* SHUT UP!*


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## simplejack (Jan 15, 2009)

Not so dumb as it was a rookie mist...No never mind it was stupid!

My buddy and I were about 1 year into our "Summer job" when he and I were given the task of insulating the partitions in an office building. we where well into doing this when I was called to help on a project on a different floor in the same building. well when lunch time came around I came upstairs to the floor where he was insulating, to get him to break.

This project had several Low wall work stations (drywall cubicles) I'd say maybe 300 l.f if memory serves, anyway among the full height partitions he had Insulated the low walls too! :laughing:

This is the same guy that years later on a power strip demo; taped and wire nut (safety-ed off) the *demoed* wires, on the floor as well as the wires left in the surface mount J boxes!! :laughing:

as for me...I gave myself a shiner removing a 2x8 balcony floor joist! we were on a scaffold on the exterior of a three story home, and after cutting and hammering away the stucco we began to demo the joists. their was one that was so rotted out that I began to pull and hang on the 2x8...well it gave way and knocked me right in the eye! it swollen up and to my embarrassment the Boss showed up with the home owner! in the days after when i showed up on other jobs with the rest of the crew...no one believed my story...









the running joke by the guy that was with me when it happened was that my girl friend (wife now) beat me up!


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## dirt diggler (May 14, 2006)

Mrmac204 said:


> I look over top- where is he?? I says (name omited) where are you? then I hear his voice from over at the side, he's down on his knees in front of the table saw- He says "wow come and look at this huge spider!" sigh......
> he wasn't workin for me directly so all I could do was "encourage" him back to the project at hand.


LOL :laughing::laughing: I've had that happen before --- it's always somethin stupid like a spider, or a woodpecker or somethin


it's not funny at the time --- but sure is funny to hear it happen to someone else :laughing:


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## Bkessler (Oct 8, 2005)

The day before my first day as an electrician apprentice my cousin (his company)took me out to buy all new tools, great. The next day, my new tool belt was long enough to go twice around me, so I put it around my waist buckled it, then grabbed the end of the extra belt with my left hand, took my new razor knife and made a cut downward on an angle then turned the knife around to finish off the job and have a nice pointed end to my belt, needless to say that knife went through the belt easier than first cut and my momentum carried through and I stabbed myself in the left forearm requiring 14 stiches, some how I spun around and got blood on the floor two walls and somehow the ceiling. They tried to call me slash for a while but thank god it didn't stick. For a while I was "the kid", as at the time I was 17 and about 125 lb's and probable could pass for 14.


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## simplejack (Jan 15, 2009)

*Simplejack Vs. DoorDogg*

We were a sub contractor for Fox 11 news in or close to Santa Monica, California (1999 south Bundy drive) Anyway... we had months on the job installing about 600 doors.

when we got to the stairwell doors I decided to challenge a guy who called himself the "Door dog" and his helper to see who could prep and swing more metal 90 min doors. my helper and I had less years Combined (about 8 years)than his helper! and he was in the trade much longer than that (25 years), but between his coffee in the morning his cigarette breaks every 40 min and his talking to any one who would listen, I figured I had him beat!

So we make a beer money bet, he takes one end of the building and I take the other, I set up shop on *one *floor and have my helper take the finished door (hinged and under cut where necessary) to the openings. I then bore and installed the lock and cylinders in place. I found out that he decided to _move his tools around_ to the openings and took longer, but the problem was he had installed the Key cylinder on the *wrong* side of the door! he was locking people out of the stairwells! :blink:

Can you imagine needing a *key* to escape a fire! :laughing: and since the GC would not accept cylinder blanks we had to get a company out there to fill the hole with steel plates, bondo and finish over 10 doors!


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## scwalsh (Nov 10, 2008)

i was working for a painting/plastering contractor a while back we had a young fella working as a labour (not the sharpest tool in the shed). I was taking care of the crews hours for the week, this guy was getting 10.00 per hour and i told him that if he gave me $20.00 i would add an extra hour onto his pay for the week he was all for is but was afraid that the boss would find out. i nearly pissed myself laughing at him. 
another time he was working with one of the other guys, plastering in a garage they had him taping the walls, the guy he was working with had to run out for a min and when he came back dude had cut small pieces of tape and covered every screw head with mud and tape


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## simplejack (Jan 15, 2009)

*Lordy, the RING...!*

I was only about 8 months into construction, we were working in a lawyers office in Beverly hills California, the Job was finished brand new carpet installed through out (a White wool like carpet, VERY EXPENSIVE) I got there just as the crew was detailing and I had to help, we were in a hurry because the tenant was coming for a walk through.

I didn't know that a can of WD-40 had opened up in my truck mounted Knaack box and had mixed with the rust and chalk at the bottom of my tool bucket. so I get to the suite and leave my scaffold outside so as to not mark the new carpet and set my bucket down in the center of the room. 

after some cleaning I had to move my bucket when I saw what made my balls climb up my throat! :cursing: a large *black Ring stain* on the brand new carpet! My the boss shows up and reamed me so bad that he had to walk away without saying any more than; "If that stain doesn't come up in the next hour, YOUR FIRED*!*"

I jumped in my truck and couldn't find a hardware store much less a Home depot! (Beverly hills) I ran into a super market and found a plain white bottle named FOLEX...i purchased several products to work on this stain but FOLEX did it...saving my career!

I wrote a thank you letter to FOLEX a few days later. (my first letter to a corporation) :notworthy


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## 22rifle (Apr 23, 2008)

JumboJack said:


> * SHUT UP!*


Sorry. But you have to admit, it falls under this thread classification.

The dude was a married Amish guy too.


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## simplejack (Jan 15, 2009)

While on the same job as mentioned above (Fox TV news studios) we found out that the painters had over sprayed almost the full inventory of Cadillacs from the dealer Lot next door, while painting the exterior of the building! we heard it was over a million dollar mistake!! LOL!! the painting contractor bought at least one of the cars and was bringing it to the job site! :laughing: I'm sure the Insurance took care of the rest! LOL!!


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## simplejack (Jan 15, 2009)

*Jee whiz Jim!*

My buddy and co worker JIM was a fool, he'd have to go to the rest room every 30 min. this guy couldn't hold it. we were on a empty demoed out floor (commercial building) no rest room left and the freight elevator took forever! plus we were told to only use the rest rooms in the underground parking structure (very far)

Well after a while of 'snapping' down lay out lines, JIM had to go! so he decided to whiz down a drain pipe left sticking out of the slab floor by the demo crew. about 30 minutes later the building Engineer shows up and said that the dentist office in the floor below complained that a patent had 'water' drip on his/her from the ceiling while waiting!

The engineer never found the leaky pipe because JIM TOOK THE LEAK!!
:laughing:


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## Mud Master (Feb 26, 2007)

That"s just nasty on so many levels!!!


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## Resta (Feb 11, 2009)

When you work for somebody you need to keep your mouth shut. I worked for a guy for two years and I knew he doesn’t like me. From the first time we saw each other. When economy was getting down, he decided to get rid of me and my buddy. He could simply say that he doesn’t need us and I’ll be fine with that. But he went other way. It was a job to put a custom made crown moldings on the suspended ceilings, 60 ft and 11 miters and white carrera marble on the walls. He said it is 4 hours job and if I don’t agree with him, he already has a guy who will do that in 4 hours. I told him it is 10 hour work. And we make a _bet _if his guy will made that in the day I’ll go, if guy doesn’t he’ll pay me for that day. He told for everyone in the company about this _bet_. At the _bet_ day it came two guys and they don’t finished work per day, they need to come next day to do a miters. And few days latter somebody spend 1 day to fix everything. After two days I was free to go….Conclusion – keep your mouth shut, even if your boss is not right.


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## HomeGuard (Dec 13, 2007)

we were installing some sand in a crawl that was having moisture issues. One of the guys brought his 17 yo son and 2 of the sons buddies to help. Well we were shoveling the sand into the vents and they were spreading it under the house. Some how they buried themselves into a corner and couldn't dig out because they were out of room. it took us 30 mins to realize that we hadn't seen them in awhile. They were screaming help but between the insulation and the sand no one could hear em.


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## JumboJack (Aug 14, 2007)

HomeGuard said:


> we were installing some sand in a crawl that was having moisture issues. One of the guys brought his 17 yo son and 2 of the sons buddies to help. Well we were shoveling the sand into the vents and they were spreading it under the house. Some how they buried themselves into a corner and couldn't dig out because they were out of room. it took us 30 mins to realize that we hadn't seen them in awhile. They were screaming help but between the insulation and the sand no one could hear em.


 :laughing:


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## trptman (Mar 26, 2007)

scwalsh said:


> dude had cut small pieces of tape and covered every screw head with mud and tape


I like that one:laughing:


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## trptman (Mar 26, 2007)

This one's not a "screw up", but I thought it was probably appropriate for inclusion.
I'm laying some ceramic tile floor and the guy I've got doing some general labor type help asks me, "are those to hold the tiles down until they dry"?

He was pointing to the + shaped spacers at the corners of the tiles.


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## BMAN (Aug 21, 2006)

about twenty years ago i was up painying a metal roof over a pool patio, climbrd up started painting and worked my way across till iwas in the opposite corner, opposite the ladder too. I painted myself into a corner!


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## Snobnd (Jul 1, 2008)

Lets see.... Ok New guy shows up to help me install news doors at the job site we are on in NY. We do the first set of new doors - Closers, hinges, locks, kick plates I explain we have 20 sets of these to do He says I want to do my own doors! I know what I'm doing and it is not that hard.
OOOk here is the print and the door schedule go to it - ?? he now says "well you pick out the stuff I need Then I can do the install"...... (Hmm) ok here you go let me know if you need help ( I send him to the back of the building) You didn't think I was going to let him install an important door did ya - I go back to hanging (4 doors) and hardware The GC walks over to me shaking his head you better go check on your guy.........Oh crap .... I go check and as I'm walking over to him Im looking at the doors they are upside down and he is installing the kick plates (steel doors) well at least he didn't do the door closer........ Yup he did - ON the outside backwards the dam doors would only open 15 degrees! that was his last day on my job!
Oh by the way My boss didn't learn and sent him to a bigger door job Arnolds bakery in Greenwich ct where he installed 25 door closers and instead of installing to the inside of the room he installed them all to the hallway side because it was easer for him!:bangin:


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## Todd M. (Feb 22, 2009)

I am new to this site but had to share my own little tidbit of employee nightmare. I was doing an apartment complex exterior trim replacement and had 5 guys on site. I hired a new guy who supposedly had experience in facility maintenance and was a pick-up guy for a tract builder. I paired him up with one of my guys to work together to see how he did. I go by the job site at the end of the day to my foreman groaning about the new guy. He starts out by telling me how he cut a couple pieces of fascia too short, as I am rolling my eyes, he then proceeds to inform me that the guy started to use the new 12" miter saw (Just bought 2 days earlier for them on this job), put the blade on a bevel but forgot to flip up the fence and started to cut through the fence. Then for the icing on the cake, he strung his tape out to measure the fascia he was going to cut and ended up cutting through the board and the tape measure. At least his board was cut to the right measurement that time. lol I laugh now but sent him packing that day. I keep telling myself "I am not a employer, I am a daycare provider"

Todd


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## wyoming 1 (May 7, 2008)

OK I got three short ones 
1 We were setting up to pour a concrete slab for a steel building pea gravel under the slab and we were putting down some plastic over it and the plumbers helper say "you guys are doing that so the concrete doesn't stick to the gravel"? I said "yep they may want to move it one day"
2 I had a somewhat new guy putting on cabinet hardware and I was finishing some other stuff and all the sudden I hear are these handles different sizes I donot know what happened but he had three doors drilled about an inch different than all the others.
3 Last year I bought a 99 one ton to make a new dump out of (Like new only 30000 miles) new guy hauled a load of trash to the dump and I gave him my card to stop and fill it up and I get a call "is this gas or diesel?" gas "oh ah ah I put some diesel in it" how much "not much" ten gallons so I show up and he says "I thought something wasn't right the nozzel wouldn't fit in fill neck" I said that was your first clue the second is right above the fill neck where it says unleaded gas only.


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## ChainsawCharlie (Jan 16, 2008)

jcalvin said:


> I have a similar one. Loading up a tractor on a trailer, ball secured well, emergency brake set, and truck pointing downhill also. Problem is, on a long trailer, the wheels act similar to the fulcrum on a seesaw. Everybody has rode a seesaw. Only when your ball is secured well, the back of the trailer goes down so the fulcrum (wheels) transfer the motion making the front of the trailer go up. Fun isn't this!!! Remember the ball is secured and the front of the trailer is heading up and so does the back end of the truck. :no:Everyone knows the parking brakes on a truck on the back tires and when they are in the air, there is nothing to keep the truck still since it is pointing down the hill. The next thing was lots of screaming, running, dodging, and ducking. Can't remember who did what except for when everything was still and calm again, everyone was standing around shaking white faced and bug eyed with the tractor on the truck with nothing bent broke or other wise damaged.
> 
> 
> We called it a day.


*cue Yakity Sax (Benny Hill theme)*


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## trptman (Mar 26, 2007)

This was something stupid I did.
I was scraping some soffit on a one story structure to get ready to re paint it. I set up one section of pipe scaffold with wheels on it and I placed the planks on the very top which allowed me to reach, but left me with no safety rails or anything. I was thinking "I'm careful and have worked off of scaffolding countless hours, I don't need to put anything else on here-it'll just make it heavier to move around, I'm not that high..etc.." (famous last words).

Sure enough later, I was scraping overhead not looking at my feet and I walked straight off the scaffolding. Luckily other than a couple of scrapes, I didnt' get hurt. Probably pretty funny to watch if anyone saw.
...I don't work off scaffolding like that anymore:laughing:


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## stacker (Jan 31, 2006)

not so much a dumb employee but dumber employer story.
was working in kansas and talking to this carpenter about getting guys to fall for things.you know,like sending them for a box of head joints,or block stretchers....anyway,the carpenter told of a guy he sent to town(about 2 miles)for a board stretcher one day.the guy left and came back an hour later,telling his boss he couldnt find one.the next day they sent him for something else,same results.they did this about 4 or 5 times until one day the boss sent him for something and followed the guy.instead of searching for whatever his boss had sent him for,he went straight to the bar,and sat there drinking beer for an hour before heading back to work.needless to say,he wasnt sent out anymore.:whistling


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## Mud Master (Feb 26, 2007)

stacker said:


> not so much a dumb employee but dumber employer story.
> was working in kansas and talking to this carpenter about getting guys to fall for things.you know,like sending them for a box of head joints,or block stretchers....anyway,the carpenter told of a guy he sent to town(about 2 miles)for a board stretcher one day.the guy left and came back an hour later,telling his boss he couldnt find one.the next day they sent him for something else,same results.they did this about 4 or 5 times until one day the boss sent him for something and followed the guy.instead of searching for whatever his boss had sent him for,he went straight to the bar,and sat there drinking beer for an hour before heading back to work.needless to say,he wasnt sent out anymore.:whistling


 
Have you posted that story before here? That sounds so familiar, like I have heard that almost word for word. :laughing:

Still just as funny second time around though. :clap:


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## ChainsawCharlie (Jan 16, 2008)

Can't really blame the guy. Nothing wrong with pranking the pranksters.

Except for the drinking part. I would have been at the beach watching the bikinis.


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## ecooke21 (Sep 21, 2004)

when i was 18 a friend of mine started installing satellites.. he was swamped so i decided to help in one Saturday.... he handed me a 24" 3/8 spade bit and told me to drill a hole behind the tv... easy right? wrong! i ended up drilling "through" the carpet and catching one of the fibers.!!! i pulled a 15' (foot) strand right from the middle of the room! i almost sh!t my pants.. there was no hiding it..the homeowner came in and was fine about it.... they had new carpet on order, it was getting delivered the next weekend...Whew! i have never drilled on top of carpet again


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## woodworkbykirk (Sep 17, 2008)

EPD said:


> id imagine your idea cost your boss money,
> 
> it was on a golf course, in the pro shop, we put up 2 walls to seperate the actual shop from what was going to be the new storage room. on one wall there was a 2' recess for a counter for a coffee machine, i said why have a 2' by 2' section of dead space on the outside corner drywalled in, eliminate a section on wall and install shelving, for coffee cups and baked good which they were going to sell, my idea was a go, 2 weeks later i was looking for a new job. when i got the new job afterwords, the project i worked on was one of the highest profile renos in the section of the city, it made it to the homes section of the local paper and i got a ton of work on my own


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